Something Wrong Here

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  1. #1
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    Something Wrong Here

    This is a work in progress and I need some advice...there are things that seem off here. I feel like the whole thing might be leaning?? Obviously the foreground hasn't been dealt with at all so nothing about that please haha

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  3. #2
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    Well, it seems that the issue is the composition. The foreground silhouette is more confusing and interfering that it needs to be. I would fumble with its placement and see if you don't find a solution.

    Hope I helped

    Phil
    My http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...23#post1431223sketchbook

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  4. #3
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    over all it looks like a great piece. if i had to guess what might look a bit off, i''d say it was the right side of the biggest mountain. the way it trails off just looks to smooth and not like the other sides. i think it needs more angles and faces, like the second shape on the left side,before the first arch.this way it will look more like a mountain than a big hill. i hope this helps because i like the composition contrary to Suici202 and think it would be nice if you added maybe a viewer in the bottom right.
    p.s. what did you use to make this?

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  5. #4
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    I think if the mountains and the background was tilted more to the right it would help with what you are feeling. Aside from that, the only thing i can see, is that the columns that go around the interior, dont change much in size as they get closer, a little bit of that will really help out the perspective.

    hope fully that helps!

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  6. #5
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    hhmmm... The foreground should be much sharper than the mountains i think, but it looks like your still in the sketching faze and this will be addressed anyway in time.

    but what really grabs my eye and won't let me alone is the ?column on the right. It's really dominant, but doesn't seem to lend much to the structure, whereas the curved rib-like buttresses (maybe not proper architectural term sorry) seem crucial to the shape of this building. The one farthest away almost looks like it connects to the large column and it's apparently pretty close to the column, but the others don't relate accordingly.

    I'm not sure exactly what you're going for, but i would have the ribs curve more toward the central axis of the perceived column. It would give the space a more dome-like impression and the wall's perspective would have to be exaggerated more as it approaches the foreground to fit with those changes i think, but that might not be your goal at all. So uh... that's what i think, i think.

    "Today, a young man on acid, realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves... here's Tom with the weather." - Bill Hicks
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  7. #6
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    thanks guys I agree with pretty much everything everyone has suggested...curved columns are a bitch to get right haha

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  8. #7
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    Agreed with the above comments and all but I'm really curious to know what the area we're supposed to focusing on is. What are you planning on adding in there? It's a little hard to judge the composition at this stage, since adding certain things could change it completely.

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  9. #8
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    hmm i guess i'm confused as to what the viewer should be focusing on. the background is really grabbing (although somewhat lacking), but the foreground presents a big possibility for more elements.

    the main factor here is focus. you need focus in a piece. in this one, you basically halved the canvas, giving equal space to both. but although you put a lot of detail on the background, you left the foreground bare. in artistic terms, extreme opposites (full and bare) on equal spaces balances out, cancelling the possibility of focus.

    either decreas the size of the foreground to dull its impact, or put sparse elements in it. i focus on the foreground because i think the background is well done nice work!

    - Noel

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