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Thread: New guy, tear 'im apart!

  1. #1
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    New guy, tear 'im apart!

    What's good, ladies and gents?

    New name, but i used to browse the forums daily a few years ago.

    anyways, I'm just about to start the animation program at the Art Institute of L.A., so i'm getting back into the art culture again, seeing as how I haven't been doing anything but sketches for the past two years. Joined here again to meet some new fellow artists, learn outside of school too, and get some good critiques! Anyways, this is the first fully finished piece i've done in awhile, let me know what 'cha think.

    Sorry if you guys want me to use a link instead, let me know.
    Last edited by Nugent; December 16th, 2007 at 01:13 PM.
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  3. #2
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    Hm. Took me a second to parse what's going on here. Actually, now that I see what's going on, I'm still not sure of the story line, but leaving that aside: it would be helpful if there was more variation in line weight. Generally, lines in the foreground objects are rendered bolder than ones in the back. I'm not sure the white outline is working, either. I don't know. If the whole picture were working, any of those elements might be okay...know what I mean?

    It's a better picture than I thought at first glance. Or, rather, the figures taken individually show a mature drawing style...but it isn't gelling as a picture.
    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  4. #3
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    i dono about those smooth "highlights" on the hair of the girl man, makes it look kinda milky and u dont want that. ithink many pple mite have problem with that even in traditional painting when they apply some light color over a surface with high contrasting values (like light line dark line) basically im nto sure if im explaining myseld right but you put highlights over the outlines and i think thats why it kinda looks odd to me. but i dono man im not a pro in comics or illustrations so its up to u to decide if my observations are reliable hehe
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  5. #4
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    its cool, emerging, I don't need people to have degrees in art to critique my work, just let me know what you think I should play around with, y'know?

    I see what your saying though, both of you, thanks a bunch for the comments.

    I'll jump back in and play around with black outlines, and mess around with the thickness of the strokes. I like the white outlines, but I think they are overdone, and too thick and attention grabbing at the moment. I'll get to that soon. Right now I'm working with my laptops finger pad, so this is all finger painted cuz i don't have a mouse either. But christmas is coming up and I should be getting a shiny new tablet, so i'll be putting in some more small details, and definitely adding some depth and definition to the womans hair. What I might do is take the inside lines of the hair, and make them a darker brown/blonde instead of keeping the lines black. We'll see.

    I'll be dropping a thread in the sketchbook section soon too, so keep your eyes out for that and feel free to critique and make as many suggestions as possible.

    thanks again!
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  6. #5
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    Kind of a Carlos Ezquerra feel to it. I like it.

    First thing that jumped out at me is that the fingers of the upraised hand look slightly off. Maybe because of the middle finger.

    I'm no expert on how halos work in comic or other art, but eliminate the one round the guy in the background, reduce the one around the girl, and remove the colour from it. See what that does.
    ...which is only my opinion.
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  7. #6
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    definitely, definitely. Luckily I knew the outlines would generate the most feedback so i made it easy for me to change them. I'll be playing around alot, and i'll see how your suggestions work out.

    when i hold my hand up, the position of the fingers on the upraised hand are fine, but the lines are executed lazily. Unfortunately this was a pen sketch so i didn't really get to clean up the lines. But i couldn't help coloring this, I was so inspired by mario galaxy (which I'm sure is at least slightly apparent).

    thanks a bunch for the feedback, Vermis.
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  8. #7
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    The shading and highlights look too smoothe. It makes everything look soft and smoothe, instead of textured. I understand it's difficult finger-painting like that, but if you go in with a tinny brush and ad a bit of stippling or hatching for texture it would improve a lot. Also try to figure out where the light source is.

    That said, I like this very much. Good work!
    Sketchbook group: MoHog Stimulus 626elemental
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  9. #8
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    I like the difficult poses you have chose to try... Interesting piece.

    I would say, read harvey dunn's lecture notes on imagining a picture: Dunn teaches the Howard Pyle school of illustration philosophy... which is to live in the drama and let your imagination dictate the composition. This, in my opinion is the MOST essential thing to know about illustration...

    http://www.robolus.com/h.dunn-eveningclassroom.pdf

    I'd also recommend you get some life drawing under your belt, from models, yourself in the mirror, if you have a digicam get some good shots, draw from television and magazine, and get a hold of Bridgman's anatomy books, 100 hands, Constructive Anatomy, The human machine, life drawing.. and copy them over into your notebooks line for line.

    kev
    At least Icarus tried!


    My Process: Dead Rider Graphic Novel (Dark Horse Comics) plus oil paintings, pencils and other goodies:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=101106

    My "Smilechild" Music. Plus a medley of Commercial Music Cues and a Folksy Jingle!:
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  10. #9
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    Thanks guys!

    elemental: I agree completely, need some textures in there, like I said I was going to to with the hair. I'll play around with hatching, and i might do some pattern/texture overlays for the cloth, etc. Good ideas, glad you like it!

    Kev: thanks for all the suggestions, and especially the link! I have always done gesture and life drawing occasionally, but I've been out of school for the past two years working, d'oh! But school is coming up and that means filling up tons of sketchbooks with gesture and life drawings. I'll be looking into your suggestions next time i'm out shopping for art books, definitely.
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