New guy, tear 'im apart!
Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    New guy, tear 'im apart!

    What's good, ladies and gents?

    New name, but i used to browse the forums daily a few years ago.

    anyways, I'm just about to start the animation program at the Art Institute of L.A., so i'm getting back into the art culture again, seeing as how I haven't been doing anything but sketches for the past two years. Joined here again to meet some new fellow artists, learn outside of school too, and get some good critiques! Anyways, this is the first fully finished piece i've done in awhile, let me know what 'cha think.

    Sorry if you guys want me to use a link instead, let me know.

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Last edited by Nugent; December 16th, 2007 at 12:13 PM.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Sussex
    Posts
    2,547
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 1,477 Times in 731 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Hm. Took me a second to parse what's going on here. Actually, now that I see what's going on, I'm still not sure of the story line, but leaving that aside: it would be helpful if there was more variation in line weight. Generally, lines in the foreground objects are rendered bolder than ones in the back. I'm not sure the white outline is working, either. I don't know. If the whole picture were working, any of those elements might be okay...know what I mean?

    It's a better picture than I thought at first glance. Or, rather, the figures taken individually show a mature drawing style...but it isn't gelling as a picture.

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Vancouver Canada
    Posts
    800
    Thanks
    556
    Thanked 571 Times in 222 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    i dono about those smooth "highlights" on the hair of the girl man, makes it look kinda milky and u dont want that. ithink many pple mite have problem with that even in traditional painting when they apply some light color over a surface with high contrasting values (like light line dark line) basically im nto sure if im explaining myseld right but you put highlights over the outlines and i think thats why it kinda looks odd to me. but i dono man im not a pro in comics or illustrations so its up to u to decide if my observations are reliable hehe

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    its cool, emerging, I don't need people to have degrees in art to critique my work, just let me know what you think I should play around with, y'know?

    I see what your saying though, both of you, thanks a bunch for the comments.

    I'll jump back in and play around with black outlines, and mess around with the thickness of the strokes. I like the white outlines, but I think they are overdone, and too thick and attention grabbing at the moment. I'll get to that soon. Right now I'm working with my laptops finger pad, so this is all finger painted cuz i don't have a mouse either. But christmas is coming up and I should be getting a shiny new tablet, so i'll be putting in some more small details, and definitely adding some depth and definition to the womans hair. What I might do is take the inside lines of the hair, and make them a darker brown/blonde instead of keeping the lines black. We'll see.

    I'll be dropping a thread in the sketchbook section soon too, so keep your eyes out for that and feel free to critique and make as many suggestions as possible.

    thanks again!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    North'n Ironed
    Posts
    662
    Thanks
    114
    Thanked 167 Times in 119 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Kind of a Carlos Ezquerra feel to it. I like it.

    First thing that jumped out at me is that the fingers of the upraised hand look slightly off. Maybe because of the middle finger.

    I'm no expert on how halos work in comic or other art, but eliminate the one round the guy in the background, reduce the one around the girl, and remove the colour from it. See what that does.

    ...which is only my opinion.
    Sketchbook Deviations
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    definitely, definitely. Luckily I knew the outlines would generate the most feedback so i made it easy for me to change them. I'll be playing around alot, and i'll see how your suggestions work out.

    when i hold my hand up, the position of the fingers on the upraised hand are fine, but the lines are executed lazily. Unfortunately this was a pen sketch so i didn't really get to clean up the lines. But i couldn't help coloring this, I was so inspired by mario galaxy (which I'm sure is at least slightly apparent).

    thanks a bunch for the feedback, Vermis.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Earth ;)
    Posts
    272
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked 37 Times in 36 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    The shading and highlights look too smoothe. It makes everything look soft and smoothe, instead of textured. I understand it's difficult finger-painting like that, but if you go in with a tinny brush and ad a bit of stippling or hatching for texture it would improve a lot. Also try to figure out where the light source is.

    That said, I like this very much. Good work!

    Sketchbook group: MoHog Stimulus 626elemental
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  8. #8
    kev ferrara is offline Registered User Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Fallingwater
    Posts
    5,059
    Thanks
    1,516
    Thanked 5,150 Times in 1,700 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I like the difficult poses you have chose to try... Interesting piece.

    I would say, read harvey dunn's lecture notes on imagining a picture: Dunn teaches the Howard Pyle school of illustration philosophy... which is to live in the drama and let your imagination dictate the composition. This, in my opinion is the MOST essential thing to know about illustration...

    http://www.robolus.com/h.dunn-eveningclassroom.pdf

    I'd also recommend you get some life drawing under your belt, from models, yourself in the mirror, if you have a digicam get some good shots, draw from television and magazine, and get a hold of Bridgman's anatomy books, 100 hands, Constructive Anatomy, The human machine, life drawing.. and copy them over into your notebooks line for line.

    kev

    At least Icarus tried!


    My Process: Dead Rider Graphic Novel (Dark Horse Comics) plus oil paintings, pencils and other goodies:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=101106

    My "Smilechild" Music. Plus a medley of Commercial Music Cues and a Folksy Jingle!:
    http://www.myspace.com/kevferrara
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Thanks guys!

    elemental: I agree completely, need some textures in there, like I said I was going to to with the hair. I'll play around with hatching, and i might do some pattern/texture overlays for the cloth, etc. Good ideas, glad you like it!

    Kev: thanks for all the suggestions, and especially the link! I have always done gesture and life drawing occasionally, but I've been out of school for the past two years working, d'oh! But school is coming up and that means filling up tons of sketchbooks with gesture and life drawings. I'll be looking into your suggestions next time i'm out shopping for art books, definitely.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •