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Recently, this RISD alumni told me she had so much work in college that she never made a single friend. Her story scared me. I haven't made any friends yet. I have my friends from high school... we still hang out sometimes, but none of them live near me now.
I talk to people in my classes, and eat lunch with them sometimes. Most of the time, I eat lunch by myself. The people in my class are friendly to me, but they don't invite me on their trips to the mall. I don't have a roommate. Maybe I will get one next year, I guess there's just as good a chance of us getting along as there is of us hating each other.
The people in my hall are not that friendly. Once I tried to watch tv and they shut the door in my face, but let the cooler kids in to watch tv. I tried going to a different tv, but everyone in the entire school was watching project runway. Everyone on my floor talks to each other, but they never talk to me. Maybe it's because I yell at my parents on the phone, or because I ask people to turn off their stereo at 1 AM.
I sort of have a friend on the basketball team, but I rarely have time to play basketball any more.
What should I do? I assumed it would be easier to make friends in college, that's what everyone says. But it's way more difficult.
Many things I have heard about college do not apply to art school.
Well honestly I dont think this has much to do with where you are, either collage, art shcool ,work or whatever, I think it's just a matter of realising that friends are important any where you go, I Guess it's just a matter of timing and being at the right time in the right place, and it usually happens at the begging.
I know it can be tuff to get friends after everyone are pretty much set, but why not try invitie people to the mall instead of them inviting you? Why not just ask one of the people you wanna hang out with, maybe catch a movie or what ever.. I think it's just a matter of having a positive additude and beghing nice and funny .. people like funny people.. humor always works for me, give it a shot..
*side note, never been in art school, so perhaps i am tottally off, but Iv'e been in enough new - places.. and they all work the same more or less..
and yes haivng a roomie can help alot.
You're probably right about me being too passive. The only time I've stepped out of my comfort zone is when I ask people if I can eat lunch with them. In the past, I've done ok by just waiting for other people to invite me first. I guess that won't work any more.
When I was in Art School, I had a total of maybe half a dozen friends who were actually art students, all the rest were people I met in halls/friends of a flatmate/students at the University we were affiliated with/random people I met down the pool room or pub.
Don't limit your potential friends list to "arteests", I had some of my best times in school hanging out with town planners, trainee chefs and IT bods.
Last edited by Flake; November 22nd, 2007 at 09:07 AM.
Flake's right! Get your friends where you can. Be the first to say hello, and see what happens. People worry about the cooler kids? Blow them off in smoke rings,- don't worry about groups; take each person as you find them.
The people who aren't looking for you to impress them,- the people who make you feel comfortable and make you laugh. They're your friends; not some cool group.
And when you find friends, feed 'em, water 'em and treasure 'em!
Have you tried joining a club? I met most of my best friends just from hanging out in the clubspace back when I was in college, and gradually getting to know each other.
As for the people in your hall? Fuck 'em. Why would you wanna be friends with the type of people that slam the door in other people's faces, anyway? Alesoun's got it right, true friends are the ones that you can have a good time with, and who've got your back in bad times. They're out there... you just have to keep looking. Good luck!
I've joined the basketball team, but I hardly have time for it. My school doesn't have many clubs. I'm taking theater next semester though, that's a bit like a club, or at least it was in high school.
I hadn't thought about trying to talk to people outside my school, I rarely even walk off campus. That's a good idea though.
art school only has maybe 50 percent of the work you get to do in the real world after graduation...so if you can't make friends in art school you are in for a world of hurt once you get out. seriously...those who think art school homework is a ton of work are still in art school or never had to work hard outside of school. I do at least double what I did then...work wise. Though my work has changed to building ca and mb instead of painting pictures. Hell, the mb 2d guys make an entire art school sized portfolio every month, except it is pro quality stuff.
In other words...don't sweat it. You will have plenty of time to enjoy the good life in school. Ringling has just as stringent of a program as RISD and I managed to meet and become friends with Andrew Jones, Puddnhead, Shawn Barber and the crew from there...you will make good connections just fine. Just be sure you pick the ones who do tons of art and that way you can hang with them and do that stuff while the others are out smoking weed in the parking lot and getting wasted all weekend every weekend.
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What about in class? Talk to people as you're working in the class room. Take the initiative and talk to people there. You're only going to get as much as you put in as well. If you sit back and be aloof, no one knows who you are. Speak up at critiques; offer up some heartfelt advice. Let people know you care.
Make friends now! These are going to be your peers in the working world. Don't undervalue the importance of making friends NOW. I look at so many of the people I work with now in the industry and they're many of the peers I went to school with.
Take the initiative now...it'll pay off big time later.
Freshman year sucks, I did mine at mica, but same thing I tell my little sister who is there now - do work, don't stress about making friends, cause they will come when you and them have to pull long nights in studio. And when you do - associate yourself with people who work hard, even at RISD it's easy to get caught up in people who just want to have the college experience and while work, do not put everything that they could into it.
hell, find me on facebook or something and I'll direct you to places that might be a good place to start. (to my knowledge there is only one Anders in RISD atm )
Last edited by /Anders; November 25th, 2007 at 01:35 PM.
I c whut u did thar.
Freshmen year will always be the worst. You've got people coming from all sorts of other schools, backgrounds and other countries. But as you grow together in the following years, it does get easier. Call it company in misery if you will, but it's those shared experiences that will make you a better artist and be bonding moments with your peers.