Train Station
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  1. #1
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    Train Station

    Hi, first time posting. "Train Station"- 4hours. WIP

    Girlfriend asked me to draw a pic of a young girl waiting for the train, by herself, she's going to her grand parents' at the country -- Something dark and a little scary, she said (my conclusion : her parents are dead, and she's leaving the city). Here it goes, super-exagerated perspective, wonder if it's too much.




    Cheers,
    BBrowser

    Last edited by BBrowser; October 30th, 2007 at 04:20 PM.
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    Yep, a bit too much, I'd try moving the camera over to the right...

    also the perspective makes me feel dizzy, there might be something wrong with it...did you check all the angles?

    The balloon also makes it look totally not scary....

    Luggage and being alone at a train station IS scary!

    sehertu mannu narāṭu ina pānāt šagapīru ningishzidda
    abrahadabra
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    I thought I would come in and mention that this image you have so far doesn't convey any of the story you tried to get across. You say she is in a train station? Well... I suppose it coveys that she is waiting for something or going on a trip... However, I see little to no indication that she is in a train station... or even waiting for a train at all. I mean... You should consider putting some visual keys into the painting to show that it is actually a train station or some sort of transport station.

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    I think you should change the perspective.
    or
    pretty much start over.
    I think you should have the little girl waiting by herself in the darkness [in the train station] and there are bright lights coming towards her...
    I dont really feel an eerie mood to it.
    I hope you dont get offended by this.
    but I think it has great potential

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    The perspective looks all right to me, but I think the right platform that the girl is standing on is askew, unless it's supposed to be asymmetrical with the platform on the left. However, the pillars rising behind her lead me to believe that they are supposed to be symmetrical. I think there's room for elements of the station and the mood of the story to come later, but I really dig things in extreme perspective. I think this layout can work, just check your angles for the righthand platform and the girl.

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    I agree with the previous posters. I believe your image isn't bad, nor am I any annoyed by the perspective. But it doesn't tell me she's waiting for a train. I see a young girl left alone in a dead city.

    Try working more with contrasts. If you want her to be lonely, make her lonely in the picture. I'd probably go for the big crowd compared to the lonely girl, or at least lot's of objects with life and movement compared to her sitting all still.

    Keep working mate

    .cheers


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    Time to go back to the thumbnail stage (assuming there was one in the first place). What is your story? "...a young girl waiting for the train, by herself...Something dark and a little scary." So you need to establish the character, the setting, and the mood. Unfortunately, your basic compositional decisions are working against you.

    1. A low, close perspective makes the subject seem monumental, the very opposite of small, alone, and vulnerable.
    2. What is the defining feature of a train station? Tracks. By choosing a low POV you've made it impossible to include them.

    Try something from the reverse angle, looking at our character from more of a distance and slightly above. Let us see her on the edge of the platform, with the environment really surrounding and pushing in on her. Have the tracks disappearing into darkness rather than into light.


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    OK thanks! -- there were no thumbnails, this is my late-night sketch, and I guess I took it too far. I will check the perspective, include hints as to where the action is taking place and go on from there... I was afraid no-one would comment, this site rocks.

    ...Or I might just post a few thumbails here before I go on and start over.


    Notes to self (I don't know exactly how much of this will end up in there) :
    1- The balloon also makes it look totally not scary....
    Luggage and being alone at a train station IS scary!

    2- You should consider putting some visual keys into the painting to show that it is actually a train station or some sort of transport station.

    3- ...the little girl waiting by herself in the darkness [in the train station] and there are bright lights coming towards her...

    4- ...check your angles for the righthand platform and the girl.

    5- ...go for the big crowd compared to the lonely girl, or at least lot's of objects with life and movement compared to her sitting all still.

    6- Try something from the reverse angle, looking at our character from more of a distance and slightly above. Let us see her on the edge of the platform, with the environment really surrounding and pushing in on her. Have the tracks disappearing into darkness rather than into light.

    Last edited by BBrowser; October 31st, 2007 at 08:42 PM.
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