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I have to say that this really doesn't convey a lot of feeling. The pose is rather stiff and the facial expression is inscrutable. It also appears that there are sections where it's just a photo which has been modified (it kind of feels like there are bits from different photos of the model, adding to the disjointed sense). As far as the composition, there are several different sections vying for the greatest amount of attention; this is detracting from the natural subject.
There are also points where the perspective is subtly throwing off the eye, such as the rifle over the back, the chest/abdomen armor, and the right portion of the background.
The movement is there, the spread of primary colors is there, your close, so close.
Just redfine the torso, sculpt it more, get the curves in there, define that chest, the abs and the left bicep, and remove the rifle slung over the back, it isnt needed.
Try and remove the colours found in the background that repeat in the figure such as the yellows and reds, and see what happens. It will isolate the figure from the background and define it more so.
Give my suggestions a try, they are by no means gospel, just a solid alternative.
I like the colour palette here. The perspective on the armor throws me off a bit: the chest area seems to be turned more towards the viewer than the abdomen (but there is no visible skew in the pattern).
One question that bothers me is why oh why do people continue doing artwork for this guy? He's still asking this stuff for free, isn't he? And then selling his books
The Boulder takes issue with that comment.
I don't know about that dude... strange to me.
Anyway, I enjoy the colors alot - but as mentioned here, there is too much happening. Distractions everywhere create confusion and distraction from any conveyance of message or emotion. I wouldtake the figure out completely, and see what the background is like. It is very expressive and I feel might create a powerful piece. But i guess removing the figure isn't an option for the commission. I'd take a look at the anatomy of the chest and shoulder area, it seems a bit flat and twisted to me. Just a suggestion.
I'd like to see more of the background style in new pieces, it excites me