Funeral for Mars - Revisited

Join 500,000+ Artists

Its' free and it takes less than 10 seconds!

Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Funeral for Mars - Revisited

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    612
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked 79 Times in 38 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Funeral for Mars - Revisited

    Some of you may remember an image I did a while back called 'Funeral for Mars'. Well, I reworked it.

    Funeral for Mars is based off of the idea that there was once a civilization on mars. This image is an attempt to capture the chaos that ensued while the atmosphere and landscape of Mars was being forever changed by the passing of the remnants of the failed planet Rahab. There are hints of the angelic war mythos included, shown as monuments, but there none the less. There is also an idea that humanity on earth began from life on Mars, hence the ships. I'm not sure how well they fit into the scheme of things, as far as their apparent high technology is a contrast to the 'low end' buildings. And there's no spaceport or anything, maybe it is off panel or something. Not sure. I tried to push color a bit more also, but I'm still lacking understanding of it. Perspective may be off here and there too.

    I'm sure there is plenty more I could have done. Below is both the old and the new. C/C welcome.

    edit: larger version posted also.

    Attached Images Attached Images      
    Last edited by Jushra; October 4th, 2007 at 07:18 PM.
    Boston Splinter Cell 36
    Jushra | Purb36 | PartialArtist | Vorp | Kongni
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Hudson River valley, NY
    Posts
    16,212
    Thanks
    4,879
    Thanked 16,669 Times in 5,020 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Less was more.


    Tristan Elwell
    **Finished Work Thread **Process Thread **Edges Tutorial

    Crash Course for Artists, Illustrators, and Cartoonists, NYC, the 2013 Edition!

    "Work is more fun than fun."
    -John Cale

    "Art is supposed to punch you in the brain, and it's supposed to stay punched."
    -Marc Maron
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Yes, Sadly I have to agree with Elwell on that.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Posts
    1,250
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked 222 Times in 170 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    It's a nice ambitious project, but Elwell is right. If you wanna tell the story of meteorite death, escape from the planet, war of angels, destruction of monuments etc, I think it would be better if you rendered...

    a. a _series_ of pictures, or something like a comic. Right now you're trying to fit it all in a crowded and disparate skyview, without nothing to connect the events really. It's not working.

    b. the _inside_ of a city in utter chaos. People running towards the dock, entering spaceships, angels fighting in the background, meteorites destroying buildings etc etc. Think of old masters paintings of war, chatastrophe or chaos. Those were never from a perspective 2 km up in the air, and they work great...

    Last edited by Whyatt Thrash; October 5th, 2007 at 07:35 AM.
    - Current project <- Crit away!
    - The Whyatt Sketchbook Any tips appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by Venger
    sometimes your first thought is always right
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  6. #5
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    808
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked 42 Times in 25 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    yeah, good crits so far. I hate to say it but to express your ideas well, you're probably gonna need to start over

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    You definatley need something to focus on, right now there are too many objects of equal size and saturation. Something needs to become the center of attention.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,035
    Thanks
    2,167
    Thanked 3,344 Times in 1,123 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    #1 busybusybusy composition (already covered)
    #2 perspective.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  9. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    117
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I know its sounds frustrating, but I'd suggest a remake.
    You need to rework that composition and to do that right, you should draw the scene again and try prioritizing the elements of the picture, focus on one aspect of the story told instead of trying to depict everything that's going on at once.
    Make a few thumbnails to see what composition works best, then give making a full-scale picture another attempt.
    This is too good an idea to be wasted and I'd love to see it properly illustrated. Do your best and don't give up. I can tell you have potential.

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    612
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked 79 Times in 38 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    i'm somewhat overwhelmed by responses! the idea of breaking it up sequentially is appealing, i think that will be what i do. i'm going to be busy with a freelance project, but i will work on a 'revisited redux' when i can. thanks all for the crits, i'll continue to use this thread to work the redux(2). i don't really see it as starting over, its all a learning process.

    Boston Splinter Cell 36
    Jushra | Purb36 | PartialArtist | Vorp | Kongni
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •