Expectant (containing monsters, nudity and violence)
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  1. #1
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    Expectant (containing monsters, nudity and violence)

    This is the beginning of a dark fantasy visual story I've been working on, on-and-off, for several months, and which is now over 50 scenes long (and isn't finished). If you don't want to know what happens, don't look on my DA pages. All being well I will post the whole epic thing up here in due course, so that it can be seen in proper order.

    (By the way the first piece is a sort of prelude, and isn't part of the actual story. Ignore it if you want more suspense about what the bad guys look like)

    ---

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    Last edited by dashinvaine; September 17th, 2007 at 06:31 PM.
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    I love them, looking forward to more. I myself have been working on a dark type fantasy story and this just gave me a few ideas. The stuff on your site is quite amazing as well.

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  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Awesome, I can't wait to see the comic.

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  5. #5
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  6. #6
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    oh shiet!!!! i love mosters, nudity and violence!!!!!!!!!, the 5th page looks awesome!

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    Loving it so far...very compelling story! Can't wait to see more

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    this reminds me of legend of dragoon =P

    nice job.

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    The monster in the last picture doesn't look like he is leaping but more like he just floated there to me.

    Great artwork though!

    Insanity is one of those things most people ignore, but I embrace.

    I have SOME idea of what I am doing!!!
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  11. #11
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    Thanks for all the comments. These drawings are full of faults, as they are quickly done, and in biro after the briefiest of pencil sketches so there's been not much chance to put right anatomical and other faults. They are first offs, the main purpose is to give the idea of the story. Anyway, here are 9 and 10

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    Wow this is good stuff man. It sort of has that same feel to it as really old midieval paintings/stories or even egyptian type stories(minus the egyptians), if that makes sense. Very easy to follow and "blunt" I guess you could say, which is good. I can almost imagine a narrator describing the actions as the still frames pop up.

    Very cool.

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    thats awesome stuff u rock buddy

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    nonono! yo can't fall knight, you're the hero!


    good stuff ... keep it up

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    very fun stuff
    it is very challenging to illustrate a story the whole way through... I encourage you to experiment with different shaped panels to draw more attention to the composition...if you're going for a comic book approach. Also, pay careful attention to perspective of your environments and your characters...

    good luck with this

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  16. #16
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    It's my first attempt on something like this. It's definitely forced me to think more about poses, perspective and angles, rather than drawing figures just stood there.
    Here are 11 and 12... Spot the continuity cock-up

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    Oh, I'm sorry, I've been waiting for someone else to say, but your women don't look scared enough. They look bored or resigned to their fate.

    If you ratched up the fear and disgust it would add a lot to it......

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    Stoic breed, the women of Aratan... actually fair comment, but there's a look of horror coming up...
    Here are 13, 14 and 15.

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    Well, this appears to be another example of typically male obsession with naked pregnant women in chains getting raped by monsters; this clearly depicts an innate perversion of the artist who choses to create a fantasy story in order to disguise his need for brutal sexual satisfaction.
    I wonder if the knight is used in the story only to make it not that obvious that it is the monster that is favoured by the artist because it has the potential to personalize the sexual wish of the artist (and the reader) to rape the women.
    This shows in the way the knight is drawn in weak-passive postures which makes it hard to believe he could actually be a threat to the monsers who dominate every scene with their brutality and strength.
    Maybe the knight represents the innate conscience of the artist who seeks to overcome his perverse tendencies and inability to encounter women without feeling self-conscious and dominated. That is why the artist designs the women to appear weak and passive instead of eager/desperate to survive and to use whatever means and strengths possible in the face of death and rape.

    Apart from that, I find it hard to believe that a man hanging on a cliff and suited in heavy plate armour is able to lift the whole body up that easily.

    My tip: Imagine more closely how it feels to get stretched, imagine more closely how it feels to be naked in front of a potential rapist, imagine more closely how it feels to wear heavy armour, imagine more closely how it feels to be scared to death, imagine more closely how it feels to be concerned of your unborn child, imagine how it feels to be pregnant (if you can), imagine a mother who seeks to defend her unborn child - and then start over.

    Last edited by KampfHase; October 3rd, 2007 at 08:33 AM.
    DUDE
    Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
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  20. #20
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    IRC convo

    Person A i don't think the viewer can judge the artist motives when drawing.
    but, he is right that the art doesn't communicate well.
    Person B I just mean the parts about the hanging on the cliff in armour
    Person A yeah
    Person C I like the crit a lot
    Person B my primary observation of most of the frames its that the ballance of the figures is wrong
    PersonB un grounded
    PersonA has many problems composition, anatomy, storytelling...
    Person C Almost everything about the figures are wrong

    Person B I just watched a knight try to get back on his horse in heavy plate armour it took two people and a very patient horse


    I send you this A because we discussed your work and B to encourage you to come to Irc and get help.

    I am person B
    Chaos

    To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.

    Sketch book

    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthr...ight=chaos%27s
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    I've seen a man jump off and back onto a horse in full plate armour, and I mean from falling to the ground, and with no-one to hold the horse.

    Some people should have more faith.

    Individual scenes may give a questionable impression but the thing should be taken as a whole. Unfortunately Kampphase's presumptious pseudo-freudian analysis has annoyed me and I can't be bothered to post the rest of this thing here now. Anyone interested in seeing the rest of it can read it on deviantart from here: http://dashinvaine.deviantart.com/ar...nt-15-53609584

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    So, I was right then.

    DUDE
    Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
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    Sorry, Dashinvaine, but I thought you wanted crits? People are only saying what they think, not attacking you.

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    I don't mind crits, but when I want my psyche evaluated I'll pay someone with framed certificates in their office and a nice couch to lie on. I've had it here, Professor Kampf, you can turn your penetrating powers of character assassination against someone else.

    Last edited by dashinvaine; October 4th, 2007 at 03:03 AM.
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    haha coool, love this, kinda cute way of telling a storry...keep on going dude^^

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    Quote Originally Posted by KampfHase View Post
    So, I was right then.
    You simply can't assert that you were correct in your groundless imprecation based on the reaction of Dash. Even in jest, such sophistic misdirection is unwarranted. This is not WebMD, your opinions on the "anima" of Dash simply isn't relevant. Instead of trying to formulate a theory on the coginitive fuctions of the person behind the sketch, focus on the sketch.

    You're making far too many assumptions and being far too rude.

    Apart from that, I find it hard to believe that a man hanging on a cliff and suited in heavy plate armour is able to lift the whole body up that easily.
    It may be unbelievable, however, it's fully possible in real world physics. There is enough moveability in plate armour to allow said-knight to shift his center of mass easily. Furthermore, a full assortment of plate armour typically weighs 40 pounds, and such a weight displacement would not be hard to overcome.

    Quote Originally Posted by dashinvaine View Post
    This is the beginning of a dark fantasy visual story I've been working on, on-and-off, for several months, and which is now over 50 scenes long (and isn't finished). If you don't want to know what happens, don't look on my DA pages. All being well I will post the whole epic thing up here in due course, so that it can be seen in proper order.
    Your story needs work. You have an idea, but the direction of your idea is muddled and contorted. Before you arbitrarily decide to make a comic, do extensive story boards before hand.

    Your characters need work. They are bland, try adding uniquie elements to each one and not generalising them all into a niche.

    You have anatomy that looks correct but isn't correct at all. Look into some figure drawing classes or books.

    Spice up your backgrounds as well.

    Still trying to think of a clever saying.

    Homocide and Apple Liquid: A Sketchbook
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    I apologize.

    Let me put it this way:
    The obvious grim fascination of the artist with enchained, naked, pregnant women seems to keep him from focusing on story telling and characterization. Instead of being keen on drawing her naked and bruised physique, and making it the only eye-catcher in the drawing, the artist clearly sets great store by the depiction of sadistic fantasies. He'd rather be working out the plot and the postures themselves so that he wouldn't have need to show off her crotch every second pic.


    DUDE
    Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
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    Quote Originally Posted by KampfHase View Post
    I apologize.

    Let me put it this way:
    The obvious grim fascination of the artist with enchained, naked, pregnant women seems to keep him from focusing on story telling and characterization. Instead of being keen on drawing her naked and bruised physique, and making it the only eye-catcher in the drawing, the artist clearly sets great store by the depiction of sadistic fantasies. He'd rather be working out the plot and the postures themselves so that he wouldn't have need to show off her crotch every second pic.
    I see no grim fascination, It's mearly a fictional story. One story, at that. Claiming this when you've only seen one work and having no personal knowledge of the artist is inane. It's akin to the vacuous comment: "Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish because his "movie"[] devote[] several close-ups to this body part for an extended period of time."

    You're simply projecting what you think this person is: Lewd, perverse and sadistic, onto the artist. You're generalising the artist. You've made him a stereotype you created. You then took two points and connected them without any supporting evidence whatsoever.

    Your words thus far have been nothing less than "libel." Please, show more respect to the community and the artist.

    Still trying to think of a clever saying.

    Homocide and Apple Liquid: A Sketchbook
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    well said, Applecide

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    Kampfase, if you want to pontificate about the state of disturbed psyches get thee to the sketchbook forum. Youīll be entertained for months. I look forward to seeing your own work put up for analysis and commentary. The story seems sort of steroeotypically sweet to me - defenseless woman rescued by a knight from the forces of evil.

    Dashinvaine - first of all - wow. This is a huge amount of effort. Kudos to you for seeing it through.

    My overall impression is that your drawing skills arenīt up to your imagination. Generally you have some perspective, foreshortening and anatomy issues.

    I donīt get the sense that sheīs actually hanging with her full body weight, etc. But if you can find a reference for that, please donīt tell me where you got it.

    Iīm not sure you actually need this many images to convey the story. But the expression on the demonīs face in 2 made me actually laugh out loud.

    I want to see the actual decapitation.

    Drawing 5 I thought was particularly sensitive.

    In 8, it looks like the knight is scared and the demon has studied ballet.

    Between 10 and 11, I canīt figure out how heīs initially falling to his right, but ends up hanging on the left side of the bridge. It looks a little like it was easier to draw him half hidden by the rocks while heīs hanging. And in that section her cape suddenly grows sleeves. Could she just be mostly dressed the whole time during the rescue? It would be less distracting and probably easier to draw in some ways.

    In 13, 14, and 15 your point of view keeps jumping from one side of the bridge to another, which is generally a no-no in camera work. We canīt tell which way theyīre heading.

    This is getting too long - my overall impression is that youīre too far back from the action in a lot of the last half. The rest of the cave or wherever isnīt telling us a whole lot anyway.

    My favs are 1 and 5.

    Hats off to your ambition on this project.

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