Within You Without You crit wanted
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    Within You Without You crit wanted



    Hi everyone!! I'm Squishy, a second year undergrad at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, looking to get into the animation program there.

    The image is the first piece of digital art I've ever made that I've been proud of, but the folks at deviantart are utterly unhelpful when it comes to a serious critique, so i figured I'd come here! Please DON'T BE GENTLE, I'm trying to develop my style even further.

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    Woo pretty pretty rainbows

    Ok, if you meant the guy on the lotus to be humanoid then you're having a lot of anatomy issues:
    - Shoulders lopsided and those muscles on either side of his neck are over-developed. His right (our left) is slightly better but you need to bring the line that seperates shoulder from arm up higher.
    -Entire torso too short
    -Based on the angle the lotus thing is tilted we should be able to see some of his thighs
    -I can't quite tell what side of his hands the thumbs are on, but they're meant to be on the far side.

    I wouldn't neccessarily bother fixing them, just move on and study a whole lot of anatomy.

    Couple of other things:
    -If you are going to include design elements like that star thing at the bottom they absolutely have to be symmetrical. It's not like this is hard to do in a digital painting, so no excuses. Also having it so close but not quite in the centre of the frame is throwing the whole thing off. Same goes for the lotus.
    - That eye in the corner is distracting and totally unnecessary. Believe me you already have enough 'weird' stuff going on in this picture.

    Alot of this is just my opinion of course, but I hope it helps and gives you something to think about Keep on working it's a very cool idea

    I'm bad at sketchbooks, have a tumblr!
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    Quote Originally Posted by FoxinShocks View Post
    Woo pretty pretty rainbows

    Ok, if you meant the guy on the lotus to be humanoid then you're having a lot of anatomy issues:
    - Shoulders lopsided and those muscles on either side of his neck are over-developed. His right (our left) is slightly better but you need to bring the line that seperates shoulder from arm up higher.
    -Entire torso too short
    -Based on the angle the lotus thing is tilted we should be able to see some of his thighs
    -I can't quite tell what side of his hands the thumbs are on, but they're meant to be on the far side.

    I wouldn't neccessarily bother fixing them, just move on and study a whole lot of anatomy.

    Couple of other things:
    -If you are going to include design elements like that star thing at the bottom they absolutely have to be symmetrical. It's not like this is hard to do in a digital painting, so no excuses. Also having it so close but not quite in the centre of the frame is throwing the whole thing off. Same goes for the lotus.
    - That eye in the corner is distracting and totally unnecessary. Believe me you already have enough 'weird' stuff going on in this picture.

    Alot of this is just my opinion of course, but I hope it helps and gives you something to think about Keep on working it's a very cool idea

    *nod nod* yeah, I understand about the anatomy. Now that you point it out, I can see it. Getting the torso and arms exactly right is difficult for me, but that just means I need to practice more, doesn't it?

    I kinda like the eye....ah well. that must be a personal preference thing.

    As for the non-symmetrical triangles, I guess I shoulda been using a ruler while sketching it out. I'll keep that in mind next time.

    Thank you for the solid crit!!

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    chaosrocks is offline Environment of the Week Leader Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    ouch!... the over all color saturation is very 60s if you are trying for a retro design thats fine. but having the background and the image both super bright colors means it is really difficult to focus on any of them.
    I find the very symetrical mandala like figure to be disconcertingly layered with not quite clean graphic lines
    whereas this adds a human touch to an other wise fairly sterile composition, it also ends up looking sloppy in terms of graphic design. depends on your goal here...
    I would also encourage you to think about what it is in this images that impelle dyou to draw it. and what makes your rendition unique.... emphaisse those features... and you could have an intreresting work

    To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.

    Sketch book

    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthr...ight=chaos%27s
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaosrocks View Post
    ouch!... the over all color saturation is very 60s if you are trying for a retro design thats fine. but having the background and the image both super bright colors means it is really difficult to focus on any of them.
    I find the very symetrical mandala like figure to be disconcertingly layered with not quite clean graphic lines
    whereas this adds a human touch to an other wise fairly sterile composition, it also ends up looking sloppy in terms of graphic design. depends on your goal here...
    I would also encourage you to think about what it is in this images that impelle dyou to draw it. and what makes your rendition unique.... emphaisse those features... and you could have an intreresting work
    *nods* I was going for a sort of 60s-ish look, though I'm not sure I captured it at all. The Inspiration for the piece came from the Beatles song "Within you, Without you", hence the title.

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    SAIC? I know a few people that go there. Are you familiar with any Galetises, Ryuses, or Marodys?

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    Quote Originally Posted by GentleFood3 View Post
    SAIC? I know a few people that go there. Are you familiar with any Galetises, Ryuses, or Marodys?
    unfortunately, no I'm not. I spent my entire freshman year either in the Core classes or in the sculpture department, or the performance.

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