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Thread: Please KILL me!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts

    Please KILL me!

    I need your most blatantly honest crit here. Don't take mercy on me. Pretend I'm the most pretentious arrogant asshole you've ever met. Make me hate these pieces. Scrutinize to all hell! Why does it or does not work? Do they go well together at all? Tell me your thoughts. Do not say cool or I like, you have to crit. Everyone crits, everythings flawed. At the end I'll make a concise list of what this art needs to move to the next level. Gimme your best shot.
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    Last edited by Orozc0; August 19th, 2007 at 11:42 PM.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    here and now
    Thanked 148 Times in 121 Posts
    Well, if you insist...
    On the first one, it looks like she is about to get goosed by that plane flying in from the back, I don't understand why her left hand is detached, the green bloches under her left armpit seem to pop out too much, and the interior space of the shopping bags is reading too flat...
    How 'm I doin'?

    Despite my nit-picking, I think these are lovely paintings. Couldn't resist the invitation to take a swing though, lol.
    As the ego shrinks, so the spirit expands.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Thanked 941 Times in 222 Posts
    Okay, here goes:

    On the first one, the clouds are way too uniform: you've got a number of small lumps, all of equal size, making up different sections of the cloudmass. More variation will make them look more interesting and more realistic. Her 3 bags are also way too similar and it took me a few seconds to figure out what they actually were because they're lined up too unnaturally. The green in the shadows on the woman's body isn't working very well, but that could just be from your photo.

    Number 2: I like this. You've got several separate (and very distinct) elements in one piece and they work together for the most part. However, the area where the fire meets the woman's legs bothers me and I wish there was more interaction between them. Also, the trees in the landscape at the bottom look like you just stuck them in there and they are poorly rendered compared to the people.

    Number 3: I love the bottom 1/3 of this painting. The top 2/3 is not as well crafted. Personally, I'd just crop it down - but I hate super tall pieces anyway. If you want to keep the top, I'd refine it.

    blue's sketchbook
    Someone gave me this custom title and I will never, ever change it!

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Gainesville, Florida
    Thanked 103 Times in 65 Posts
    I think your main problem here is your lack of value. Especially in the first one. I'm not sure if it's just the photograph or not, and i'm also not sure if you're trying to go with muted colors, but it's just not doing it for me. Because of this lack, my eye moves everywhere, almost everything is relativley close in the value range. You could up the value on both ends of the spectrum, and would help immensely. There are also not a lot of temperature changes in your paintings, the 1st and 3rd are primarily cool temperatures throughout the whole peice, the 2nd painting is mainly warm colors. Use your knowledge of how cool and warm colors can push back and bring forth your objects. Also a lot of your edges don't seem rendered correctly, as they turn from the light, they will be darker. Some edges seem too hard, like on your rounded forms, such as hair. It would also be great to dive into all the colors that fleshtones have to offer. Even if it's a bit exaggerated, it will look a lot better than having generic skin color.

    But take that all with a grain of salt, because I do like the paintings! haha

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Thanked 5,191 Times in 1,728 Posts
    I like these quite a lot. You have a nice sense of color and an original style and your form and anatomy and gestures are pretty good.

    Obviously you aren't going for strict realism, so I won't crit you on that. Although there is this sense in the back of my mind that, aside from Dali, most surrealists use surrealism as a way out of difficult drawing.

    But whatever you put in your pictures, surrealism or not... it should at least be self-consistent, even if it appears in a wackadoo picture.

    For instance the girl in the first one.. The light is coming from in front of her, yet the bag she's carrying has a surface that is facing the ground that looks like its getting the same light. And the inner surfaces of the bags she carries, which, although not directly facing the light, are facing it enough to be lit somewhat.

    The green skin tone is way off the charts. Skin tones are relative. A grayed-down yellow will look greenish when compared to the regular orange and rosey skin tones.

    Although now that I look at it, the green is probably pretty radical in real life. And the naive way you do the explosions... I think of that as a stylistic thing. Although it couldn't hurt to reference the A-bomb. I once saw an entire page online dedicated to just A-bomb blast photos.

    The 2nd pic is the strongest in my opinion. Once you do some better trees, it's ready for the portfolio as is!

    The third one is quite a lot of fun, but the way you just gave up on the windows closest to the explosion on the leftmost building. and then just painted them out of existence... that's just weak. Cheeseball. And the further up the explosion you go, the less drawing there is. Guess you couldn't find an A-bomb explosion photo from below, eh? I bet not many exist .

    All to say, I agree with bluefooted.

    Anyhow, where you're not lazy you're good. Where you are lazy, you suck. That's art in a nutshell!

    Best of luck

    P.S. I guess I'm agreeing with Bluefooted.
    At least Icarus tried!

    My Process: Dead Rider Graphic Novel (Dark Horse Comics) plus oil paintings, pencils and other goodies:

    My "Smilechild" Music. Plus a medley of Commercial Music Cues and a Folksy Jingle!:

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    can't stand the surprised look on the girl in the second pic.

    what's up with the plane flying to....uncharted territory in the first pic?

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Pasadena, CA
    Thanked 308 Times in 195 Posts
    The first one needs more contrast and better value control to make the scene pop more... they all look very flat (could be a digital photo thing), but I think some restrained use of value is also at play. On the 2nd one, the panties and general pelvic area (ooh baby) is flat, the panties are a solid color alltogether and seem not to follow the form as tight as they are. The last one, I see a phallus, I do not understand the concept, could you explain?

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Buckinghamshire, UK
    Thanked 307 Times in 201 Posts
    Love the second one. Wonder if it is a jumble of ramdom things, though, or whether some narrative/symbolism/allegory is intended. She seems to be farting napalm through her Turkish flag pants. An atomic fart seems to be the theme of the third one too!

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    I am not sure, the upper body of the girl seems to tall, but that would a little detail (you might check some references on e.g. www.female-anatomy-for yourself)

    what I like especially beside that surprised look, is the colour composition which is interesting and very consistent, kind of style from old Russian icons

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Thanked 145 Times in 75 Posts
    The two atomic farts are awesome !sorry for the crits, but it's good pictures in it
    euh my blog of course.

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    West Belfast, Northern Ireland.
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    I think the second one is great, I like the flesh tones. I think the second piece suffers less from the value issues that the first and third pieces have.

    The lighting on the ladies bags made them look to me like stairs or steps at the first glance. I DO like the ladies hair though, I don't know why, but something about it reminds of Botticelli's The Birth Of Venus.

    The lower portion of the third image is striking, but it loses momentum as it moves up the painting.

    I hope this has been helpful. .

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
    I'll keep it simple for ya. 1. Think about what you want the viewer to see when they look at your piece (use light and colors effectively). 2. Think about middleground background and foreground. 3. Keep it simple, you can achieve alot by using less(fewer strokes, forms, i dunno....) Sometimes we need to go back to basics just to refresh and keep a clear head. Good luck.

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