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  1. #1
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    Visibly Bright

    Visibly Bright
    This image was constructed for a contest with a theme= friendship
    here are a few lines describing each panel from left to right:

    <i>
    cold and alone...
    large distance between.

    unsure at first
    butterflies acting up.

    building happiness
    unbreakable bonds
    </i>

    -----------
    please tell me what you think of the picture itself-


    and if you can...give me critiques! tell me how I can improve.

    I know the perspective is off on the second panel with the girl, so if anyone can give me a draw over for that, that would be great

    also, I don't really like the composition in the first panel. Just recently started focusing on environments.

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  3. #2
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    Do karalho!!!! show de bola Best!!! NICE!!!

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  4. #3
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    look virb.com/jakastudio

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  5. #4
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    haha cute, nice work, like the style and colours

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  6. #5
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    John: what's that website for exactly?
    Lotet: thank you I appreciate your kind words

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  7. #6
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    The figure is great! =)

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  8. #7
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    Great style. I love the the concept you have come for it.

    - Anthony Pittarelli -

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  9. #8
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    I love it, more please

    Check Us Out!!!



    Unbreakable


    zao75231

    couplandrob.daportfolio.com
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  10. #9
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    Great. More.

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  11. #10
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    Fantastic stuff!

    On the first panel, and since you asked for comments on it, I'd say the pillars are too straight, too vertical compared with the roundness of the corrugated plates spiral platform. Maybe flattening the end of the dock would help too, it looks a bit too bulked to me- but it might be just me, then!

    Other thing that I think it'd work better is too make the foreground plates and steps much bigger and less in number than they are now, as they look more or less the same size and number as the ones in the end of the dock, just for perspective's sake. Lose the metal "halo" too, or just leave the background part of it, it comes into the viewer's sight way and it's not clear where it's ending or leaned to.

    Apart from these minor suggestions, I think the overall triptych looks stunning.Sorry for the drill above!

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  12. #11
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    It's nice, but would like to see this on a larger scale if possible? It's quite piddly as it is now!

    Cx

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  13. #12
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    very nice. I like it. Especially the two last panels.

    To improve the first one I would try and bring more focus towards the figures. The actual composition is fine as such, but you have alot of deep color and contrast surrounding your focal point. Contrast, color and hue are just as important in a composition as the actual shapes.

    For a start I would darken the foreground considerably to bring more fucus towards where you want the viewers attention. Then you can lower the saturation too if you think it need it.

    The upper arc that sweeps from the right to the left needs better defenition of space. Perspective wise it seems to be further away than the foreground, but you have rendered it with the same contrast and saturation as the foreground. This clashes, and it therefore flattens the picture abit.

    The second panel also suffers from these compositional, but not to the same degree since the composition is simpler. But that saturated lower part really demands the viewers attention. A bit too much since it's not the most important part of the picture.

    Hope this helps

    cheers,
    peter

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