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August 7th, 2007 #1Guest
Ran out of steam on this one. There is a good few bits i would like to fix up but not happy with the pic as a whole in itself so just rushed the ending. Crits and comments please.
Hide this ad by registering as a memberAugust 7th, 2007 #2Registered User
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This is a pretty cool idea and I actually like the feel of it.
But some things are bothersome.
For one, the main figures are pretty stiff looking.The legs and the oars form two stable triangle shapes. In fact the whole picture is made up of stable graphic elements!!! (see attachment 1) straight horizontals, straight verticals, and stable triangle shapes. Gotta watch out that your graphic design doesn't mess up your dramatic intent. Can't have dramatic tension where everything is stable. There is no unity of thought between the graphic design and the point of the picture.
Secondly, the dramatic tension in the piece related to the "discovery" of the skull skulpture is literally confined to 1/100th of the actual canvas size!! That's paltry! (see attachment 2) Everything else sets the scene, but has little to do with the drama. Even the ship out to sea means "hey don't worry about the skull skulpture because you can just come back to the boat and be safe! We're waiting here for you!"
The one tension-filled figure is the guy pulling the boat on shore, which is not the drama of the scene.
The graphic design must *mean* something. The composition must reflect the drama. Know your core concept and make everything you put in the piece emphasize the tension of that central dramatic core.
August 7th, 2007 #3
The skeleton seems to be on a level with the people, but is much bigger. If you want it to look closer you will have to bring the foot of the cross down a bit. Also I don't know what would be holding the bone hand up like that (and the hand looks particularly big)
I think the man should look shinier as well where the sun hits him as black people tend to have glossier skin, plus after rowing ashore he'd be sweating. Also you need a clearer idea where the sun is, as the shadows on the ground and on the bodies don't particularly agree. Other than that, beautiful stuff, I love the sea, especially and the mountains. I wouldn't be too concerned about the alleged graphic design issues, the scene reads as credible, which is as important in my view as making abstract patterns with the things featured.
Last edited by dashinvaine; August 7th, 2007 at 06:03 PM.
August 7th, 2007 #4Registered User
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Dashinvaine, if you don't understand what I'm saying, don't try to block it or dismiss it.
My crit is not about dislocated abstract patterns or alleged graphic design issues, its about how the abstract structure underneath a piece should help the piece rather than hurt it. The design of this piece hurts the piece by working against the drama. Plain and simple.
In the meantime, I don't think he should change it, because the problem is a wholistic one, requiring a wholistic solution. Wholistic solutions can only be implemented from the start.
This is very nice as a environmental picture. But dramatically it doesn't function. Since there is a dramatic element to it, I critiqued it on that basis.
Can't wait to see what Mitze does next!
August 7th, 2007 #5
The lady pirate has a pose and an expression on her face that make her look like she is filming a Captain Morgan Rum commercial.
Now, don't get me wrong...I like Captain Morgan Rum and their commercials, but the effect on this piece is making it more comical for me than dramatic...
What is supposed to be the emotional content here? I am unsure.
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August 7th, 2007 #6
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August 7th, 2007 #7
With respect, it's not truth, it's subjective. I was merely stating my opinion, as Kev Ferrara was. My opinion is that nature doesn't conveniently arrange itself into graphic compositions (not always). You don't want to give someone a headache looking for pictures under the picture when they are representing a scene in a perfectly rational and natural way. Anatomy, perspective shade and lighting may be measurably either right or wrong, but compositional structure is a greyer area, and depends on your priorities. I actually agree with his last point, but the priority here could be to set a scene rather than represent drama. Also I think that when criticizing I would think it probably best to stick to things that can be corrected without virtually starting again from scratch.
Last edited by dashinvaine; August 7th, 2007 at 07:44 PM.
August 7th, 2007 #8
If nature isn't doing something we want it to, we change it. We are artists afterall.
As for setting a scene, it's much less effective if there's no cohesion. It's also more boring if there's no drama. Kev and I usually agree completely or have very different opinions of things, but I'm backing him completely this time. If you're not trying to create some sort of drama or have some focus, setting your scene is more like plopping figures into a sandbox with no rhyme or reason.
August 8th, 2007 #9
yeah just a point
it seems as though you put much more effort into the water in the lower right than the flesh tones of the people, im probably talking rubbish tho
August 8th, 2007 #10Guest
Thanks to everyone for the crits and comment.
There is a lot here for me to think about.
Kev Ferrara thanks for taking the time to post such an in-depth crit. I am not the most competent drawer so I send most of my time drawing individual elements without thinking of the picture as a whole and never about any emotional impact. About 90 percent of my pics I give up towards the end and rush it, as I am not willing to spend time on something that isn’t working. Maybe what you said is the problem. Poor planning and no graphic design elements. Ok next pic No more 5 min thumbnail. Going to spend a lot more time thinking about the graphic elements in the pic before I hit the rendering stage.
Dashinvaine thanks for your input. There is a good few prob with this pic. I really just finished her and the background all the rest is a bit half arsed, as I was not to happy with the pic at that stage. It was for a drawoff so there was a deadline and I had had gone to far to go back and fix up.
Etheral. There wasn’t much effort put into the water in the lower right. I have photo texture brushes for water. I spent more time on the clouds than the whole ocean. As I did them from scratch.
Thanks to everyone else for taking time to crit.