Well, I can't say I know why you posted this if you know all of your mistakes, but whatever. Now that you posted that second post, I have nothing else to say. Just post it again when you've corrected all the things you see and then I'll criticise it.
"Yes, Ms. Flameel?"
"Multiply 47 times 83."
"Multiplication, it's math education! Isn't this swell? Oh, let's give multiplication a standing ovation...
so buy a calculator, study this stuff later!"
-Animaniacs (only a few good quotes from that song. Search "The Multiplication Song - Animaniacs" on YouTube
for this video and any other Animaniacs classic!)