Hehe, I actually liked the idea of having this epic battle in a sunny pretty scene. But if you're wanting to create more mood and keep what you had done originally to what thePale suggested, then...
You sure prattle on for one who has bitten off his tongue,
A boy with fanciful dreams of conquering schemes,
Too bad its your team who is going to become CREAM!
(I am no writer and my english...
Bring it son.
Just hope you enjoy chewing on your tongue when all is said and done.
By the time we're through you'll be in your own pile of drool.
Kick ass! Sign me up on the chicks side!
Is it to late to join on the ladies side?