I need to know what's wrong...

[Leotaku]

Hey,
I've been posting this around other forums and everyone says her leg is screwed, but no one will actually tell me HOW it's screwed, or what I can do to fix it (and saying "that's wrong" without saying how doesn't help, so I've been quite frustrated). So I figured this place would be able to help me. It's a little old now, and I was hesitant to post this before because there're some notable problems like the right arm being too long. I just knew posting a flawed pic like this would just make me look even more amateuristic (like I need that; I'm already heavily outclassed here since I'm probably one of the youngest people here...16). But I came to my senses and said I HAVE to know what's wrong. So enough talking (sorry for being long winded), here's the pic:
http://flatface.net/~leotaku/rocker.jpg
Please...help. Thank you.

[chukw]

It's at the knee- the mass of her calf/shin is way too low, and the outer line of her thigh doesn't go right. It should flow around the knee joint- you have it cutting right in toward it's center. I wish I could post a paintover, but I can't right now! It's hard to just describe it... Is this a cropped version of the piece? She's kind of jammed into the frame. It's got some nice action, but those horizontal and vertical elements (guitar, waist, head) are too static and stiffen up her pose. Her boobs are unbalanced, too- either that, or they're way bouncing, and her left one is foreshortened in mid-elongation! Let me hold that thought... :)

[Fipse]

Hi Leotaku,

chukw has said what I thought, too. For the problems with the knee I´ve done a quick paintover of the knee at work. Please take it with a grain of salt as I´ve been doing it with a mouse. But maybe you can see, what the problem is.

http://www.kriegsherren-von-og.de/webpics/rocker_paintover.jpg

BTW I think it´s better to put a discussion like this in the WIP Threads.

Hope I could help you a little bit.

Fipse

[softdrawer]

the boob , the knee and the hands. otherwise its a good idea !

good work !

[TOPO]

I see something weird about her pose... ¿maybe something like this? (cheap quick conceptual modification made at job)

http://www.toposolitario.com/basura/borrame20030728.jpg

Well, maybe not, in this tricked pose she look like running, but in yours I think there is somethig wrong behind the guitar... despite the knee.

uhhh.. neve rmind

[pconsidine]

The thing that jumped right out at me was the line of her collarbone and shoulders. If I recall my anatomy correctly, the hard line should be more from the top of her shoulder into her neck, and not across her collarbone.

Something a little like this:

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/123781/rockerRet.jpg

Also, there seems to be an odd shift in perspective from her upper body to her legs, which might be what TOPO noticed. It's mostly noticable on her right leg (the left side to the viewer). And I would say that the background is a little distracting. It could probably be simplified to bring the figure out more.

Otherwise, you've done a pretty good job of modelling the forms and creating a piece with good strong contrast and shape.

Just my 2¢.

P.S. – where's the ring finger on her right hand? It kinda looks like she lost it in a farming accident or something. Sorry – I'm a guitarist. :)

[Elwell]

Originally posted by TOPO
Well, maybe not, in this tricked pose she look like running, but in yours I think there is somethig wrong behind the guitar... despite the knee.

Yup, there's you problem. The way her legs, especially the left one, connect to the torso is off. Figure out the drawing without the guitar, then put it back in. The calf of her right leg could also get moved up behind the knee a bit. Draw through the forms. Draw the parts you can't see.

For sixteen your're doing just fine.

[killing.people]

onion:
a. her left leg's foreshortening.
realize that the leg at that angle (with the knee pointing at you) that the lower leg is pointing toward the viewer. being that the calf to the ankle is like a cylinder, like that of an upside down bowling ball pin, the more it's pointed at a viewer, the more its 2d appearance turns into a cirlce. you understand this concept but, do not be afraid to overlap forms. and i mean cover some stuff up completely if you have to! just cover them up, we will still be able to understand the drawing.
b. her right breast is stretchy looking. picture the basic shape of the entire torso, from the belly button up. its like a cup right? its position needs to be back more so it looks more natural. the left breat is fine, its pointing toward the view. sense her torso is cylindrical, her right breat would be point more over her elbow joint; somewhere between a profile, or side view and front view. right now the breast is wrapping around and pointing at the viewer.

* here is a quick paint over.
- i touched-up smaller areas to make her look more feminine: her sholders and outline.
- fixed some proportions; her arms where too long as you know. didnt like the way her fingers looked.
- added more to the canvas to show the entire subject. its like writing half a word. you should draw the entire character, the practice wouldnt hurt, wont take long and you can crop afterwards.
- i took the background out, i didnt like it.
- i turned the guitar around, it didnt look right to me for some reason. im sure they make them many different ways ..

in the image to the left i drew her leg how the original desing implied, i didnt do very well in my version. :o but hopefully it helps.

on the right, i thought it would be a better compositional balance, as well make the figure look more balanced, to add her leg like that; less of an action pose though.

http://images.deviantart.com/large/indyart/indymisc/leocrit.jpg

[Leotaku]

Alright!
Everyone, thank you SO much for all the help, especially Fipse and pconsidine EDIT: and killing.people, who posted while I was typing, who edited the picture to illustrate their point. You don't know how happy I am, after countless "that looks screwed" remarks, that I know WHY it's screwed and I know my errors so that i can make note of them in the future!
BTW I think it´s better to put a discussion like this in the WIP Threads.
OK. Sorry, I'm new here, I'm not quite sure where some things should go with so many sections.:confused:
P.S. – where's the ring finger on her right hand? It kinda looks like she lost it in a farming accident or something. Sorry – I'm a guitarist.
Her right hand ring finger has a...ring...on the...finger. :P
Maybe i shaded the ring too dark or something? And it looks like it seperated the finger?

Also, the picture isn't cropped or anything, but I was drawing on 8.5 X 11 paper like always, and tend to draw too big to fit the whole figue on the page. I almost NEVER fit the whole body in if it is, or similar to, a basic standing up pose

I appreciate all your assistance. Thanks again.
:)

[tomi]

i think your problem could be easily fixed if you would place a wall behind her, or maybe an amp. than it would look like she is leaning on the wall...but the calf/shin area has to be fixed though.

[pconsidine]

Originally posted by Leotaku
Her right hand ring finger has a...ring...on the...finger. :P
Maybe i shaded the ring too dark or something? And it looks like it seperated the finger?

Sorry. You're absolutely right. Though the ring does seem to blend into the texture of the neck of the guitar, so maybe that's something to consider.

Still – a fine beginning. I guess coming here for advice was a good idea, no? :D