Shock Troopers, a big ship and lasers.

[Paul "Otaking"]

So... what's wrong with this one, then? Tell me, and I shall attempt to fix!
All comments welcome. No, in fact demanded! Lol.
Only joking.

[novenus]

Nice! And busy. ;) Shouldn't the non shock trooper character be a bit more prominent?

[Paul "Otaking"]

How's about this?

[yinteck]

the foregroung doest really " combine " with the background .
Well i like it , nice !

[ruzkin]

Man, you so often have a problem with the values on faces. Maybe it's just the hour of night that it is, but the man char's face is just blurring into one mass. The shock troopers are perfect though.

[designboot]

incredible

[EmiR]

Hi,
Maybe the "laser-light" pop too much?
The way how you use the colors is great... love it!
Good Picture again.

[Paul "Otaking"]

Thanks for the comments, folks!
As always, I'm having trouble getting it all to gel, as Ruzkin pointed out...
I've had a go at making his face more readable... and added a few more details here and there..

How's it look now?

[Hai]

Sorry to go offtopic, but why haven't you started a sketchbook here yet?

[fukifino]

When I squint down at the image several things happen:

-The fully rendered shock troopers all mass into a very dark blob (the darkest area of the painting) punctuated by very bright lights.
-The rest of the shocktroopers and their leader all sort of mass together into another clump.
-The city forms another area of very dark and light shapes (second to the shock troopers).

Ideally, you really want that commander guy to take center stage. I would try to find a way to adjust the contrast levels of the picture to make him stand out. Deepen his shadows, play with the values on his clothes, pop out some more highlights.

I'd also tone down most of the rest of the shock troopers. The ones in the back are great because they're not too busy so they form a nice mass with details if you look for 'em, but don't overwhelm...the ones in the front begin to be really busy. Pick one or two to leave as detailed as they are, so you can really get a good look at them, but try to seperate them out a bit and tone down the ones around them so they pop out a bit more.

I really like the city but you may need to tone it back because it's likely to compete with your commander too much. If you can, I think it will all form a nice harmony,giving you 2-3 areas of visual dominance to rest your eyes on (the commander, 1 or 2 of the bots, the city) but keep them seperate enough to not be overwhelmed. Then the viewer can liesurely investigate the details in the rest of the image and still have a "safe spot" as it were to come back to (your main focuses).

Also, and this is just my personal opinion, I think I liked the first composition better than the flipped one.

My 2 cents.

[Paul "Otaking"]

fukifino - Useful critique... thanks! I've had a go at adjusting as you suggested... still not there, I don't think, but getting better, perhaps!

Hai!^^ - I only do finished pieces, that's why! Heh heh. :) Unfortunately, they're overly-busy finished pieces where you can't tell what you're supposed to be looking at.