Can this portrait be better than it is?

[Ian Mack]

Of course it can! I've worked on thisf or quite awhile and feel that i am approaching the end of it. Do you have any suggestions which would strengthen the picture? note: It's on a VERY toothy paper.

I re-learned a valuable lesson. If your foundation isn't strong...you're going to have headaches later on. There are some proportional errors that I just can't fix without redoing a significant part of the image so I'll make sure I remember this lesson for the next time.

[Marijane]

In my unprofessional opinion I would like to see brighter highlights and some darker shadow in the picture. Push up the contrast a bit. I would also smooth out some of the textures on the face but that just me. The mustache get lost against the texture of the skin. Overall a nice picture.

[Venger]

Right handed then? :teeth:
If its a very toothy paper maybe a white conte crayon could be used to give you a sharper highlight.

[masque]

at the risk of repeating myself (i posted a similar reply in another Crit Center portrait thread), it looks as if you're spending a lot of time and attention to copying the photoref's tonal structure. better to let it inform your own treatment of the subject. as it is, the many tonal variations across the face of the subject don't really communicate the form, it gets swamped by the wealth of detail.

[Raja]

I think the sketch looks very good as it is right now, but if you shaded better then it'd reach its full potential. If you blend using tortillions on those dark spots and blend around the face and whatever, you can make it look more real than it does now. I use Lee Hamond's pencil blending technique to improve my skills. I know you won't get a sketchy appearance, but it'd look much better with the blending technique.

[Orchid, the Wild]

I agree with Marijane that his mustache gets a bit lost within the shading. And something is bothering me about that right eye... can't quite put my finger on it. Over all this is a nice piece, just get some higher contrast going and you're golden.

[Adam Nowak]

On the anatomy, his right eye (our left) should be moved over to his nose a bit more. And his entire chin is a little too small/flat. It should be slightly longer and bigger.

[nauvice]

His chin should be pushed out more, here's a tip; Flip both the image and your drawing upside down and try to draw it this way. And don't be afraid to go darker.

[Ian Mack]

Marijane: I'm not quite sure how to resolve the texture of the skin with the mustache. I mean, the paper is heavily textured...perhaps I can smooth out the mustache instead of the entire face?

Venger: My secret is out! Looks like I'll have to start the super-secret right-handed downright-to-upperleft diagonal strokes training. I have a conte pencil which I've used a bit...going to try a dbit more again on his teeth and eyes.

masque: That is a wonderful bit of advice because I had never thought about it that way. You're so right though! Int he end, I'm modelling the form so the ref needs only be a guideline. Thank you.

Raja: Thanks Raja, for your comments. For personal reasons, I tihnk I will stick with the sketchy look. Are Tortillions those cylinders of paper? if so, I like your name for it...for some reason, I always called them paper stomps.

Orchid, the Wild: yea the eyes were bugging me as well...once again, should have made sure my proportions were bang-on before beginning to shade.

Gamerhomie: Damn you Gamer damn you! I was going to let all of that slide until you pointed it out right in front of everyone. Ah well..should have known it would happen. :ca:

zwarrior: Thanks! I remember that trick from HS, but didn't use it this time. I'm relying more on eye-sight measurement to get the proportions but your method will come in handy when I need to continue drawing with a 'fresh perspective'.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all your help in making it this portrait the best that it can possibly be.

[Ian Mack]

Update: Darkened the brow and forehead area. I also expanded his left cheek a little too.

[Raja]

The second drawing looks better now with the right eye (his left) closer to the nose, but I notice there's still a problem with his left eye (our right). It appears to very very squinted in an uncomfortable way, and the cheek under it looks a little too dark which causes it to looks almost melted or deformed. Moutstache should probably be more defined as it's very hard to see.

[ChaoticKnight]

his eyes are looking better, but the entire bottom half, below the eyes, seems to be pushed too far to the left. watch where the eys are in conjunction with where the sides of the mouth end, and also watch the chin and the jaw. would you be upset if I did a paintover?

[spotfrog]

Looking at the (our) left tip of his moustache, I think the shading underneath is a bit too dark, making it look more like an extension of the upper lip than hair. Try to bring out even more contrast between the hair and the skin... and pay some attention to the angles going on in the jaw. I'd say the upper half of the portrait looks great, it'd just be really nice if you somehow fixed the skewed jaw. Notice the chin is a lot larger and to the left than in the photo.

[chaosrocks]

looking at this. My first rsponce is...the shading is alll angled from right to left. to make a rounded form the shading should follow the curvature of the form.
second thought
I have no idae how you feel aboutthis person. a cold rendering is competant but not engauging. I would really prefer a looser render if it actually tells us about this persons character... Masque is a wise person... all the perportional perfection in the world is nothing if we dont care about the person

chaos

[Neondevil]

Just some tiny things I saw where he needs a sharper curve to his jawline and the left most nostril needs to get smaller.

[ChaoticKnight]

Hope this helps. Besides a few structural changes, just make sure you go a bit darker with the value! :)

[Ian Mack]

Raja: Good call on the skin being too dark. He was starting to look like he had been in a fight. :P

Chaoticknight: Thanks for the paintover! Def. illustrated the major changes I needed to make below the nose. I'm trying to get darker with the valuesbut I don't know if it's coming across in my photo's. Tryting to replicate it using levels in PS.

Spotfrog: man...the hair and the skin are giving me trouble! I *think* I created enough contrast betweent eh mustache and the skin with this latest effort.

Chaosrocks: The method of shading is due to where I'm @ in my training. Very simple. :) if you look at early DaVinci sketches, you'll see that he shades the same way using value to turn the form. I do know that I'll have to get to contour shading next. Thanks! Also, I should note that I really don't know this guy...he's the owner of my restaurant and I have very mixed opinions of him. He's been very generous to us but I've also seen him say some mean things about disabled customers and heard some other rumors besides. Suffice to say, I prefer to remain ambigous in my feelings towards him since I've only known him for 6months-ish.

Neondevil: Haha thanks for pointing out the nostril issue...I changed it and immediatly saw a difference overall.

I wonder if that in using this toothy paper, I've created the possiblilty of seeing slightly different images depending on the angle you're looking at. I'm noticing that I see the most amount of white when I look at the image head-on.

Anyway...thank you all for the help with this. I feel that this is getting stronger and stronger with your feedback. Slowly but surely, I'm also getting a little braver with the dark values. :)

[naomiful]

If you squint at the image and it all looks grey, you don't want that. Hey if this was my image, at this stage just to make me feel a little better I would take white and cover the background in a much lighter tone, like in the photo, and darken his shirt much more.

:D

[chaosrocks]

quick and dirty paint over