Lonely Outpost

[zoephoenix]

Here's what I've been working on just about every night the past month... it's gone through a LOT of changes... this was composed almost completely of trial and error, as many things in it I haven't really painted before, the first two being rocks and water. This'll be entered in The Gnomon Workshop's monthly DVD contest and while I don't really think it'll win anything, I'll enter and try, anyway.

http://sgtphoenix.ctcsg.no-ip.com/LonelyOutpostEntry_DONE.jpg

I think I'll go rest my wrist now... the pain...

[Molly]

all i see is an X

Mx

[Rascar Capac]

hey Z - good that you stuck with it.

Some observations.

There are several things that makes this piece spotty and Im not sure where I should look. My eye is jumping from the lightning in the Foreground, to the one in the Background, the tower, the structure in the distance, and pool of light on the right. You have to decide where you want the viewer to look and do everything to lead your eye there, even if it means cheating and eliminating things that you would normally see.

From your very central composition Im assuming the tower is of the most importance, so:

-tone down the lightning - its too strong and dominates. Your main light should be that beam.
-With that - hit the top of the tower (and around it) with light from the beam of light. You really need to pop this thing.
-get rid of the city/structure in the back, and tone down the far lightining even more. It doesnt help the piece at all and seems like an afterthought.

some other notes:

-the line created by the band of rain between ground and clouds is too distinct - soften that up.
-I know its night but with the light show, you would see a bit more of this barren landscape. Your darks are black holes and we should see some detail in there. You can also use this to add cast shadows and make things a bit more dramatic.
-Play around with composition, the tower is dead center and its not that interesting. And the whole piece is divided in two with the horizon line almost in the middle

to make a long story short: Squint and your tower disappears. Instead, all the parepheral stuff pops out. Less is more. You'd be surprised how quickly you can change this around by simplifying the whole thing and concentrating on where you want the viewer to look.

thats probably gonna add to the pain but hopefully it will be of some help.

[zoephoenix]

owwww... but thank you. :)

My personal opinion on what you found wrong with the image..:

As far as the lightning, I was told by more than one person to lighten the background and darken the foreground. The darks in the image look fine on my monitor, although maybe my monitor isn't set correctly? I haven't messed with the settings on it since I got it, so I don't know. Of all the people I've showed it to so far, no one's had any problem with the lightning being too bright so far. I've been told not to mess with that at all.

On the composition, maybe it should be a little off center, but when I first started on the image, I liked it just fine like that. You may be right about the horizon line, though. The rock structure in the background is there mainly because I felt like the image looked a little barren without some other large structure in it. The pool of light on the right was supposed to be reflection of the lightning off the water, something I was also advised that I should probably add to make it more realistic.

I guess all I can do is start another painting and try to do better next time.

[zoephoenix]

I'd also kind of like to know why this thread was moved from the finished section to the critique center, if someone wouldn't mind telling me.

[emily g]

zoephoenix, the Finally Finished section is for works that are professional or near-professional quality.

The moderator who moved your thread probably thought that your piece needed some more work before it was at that professional level.

Please don't take it personally. Lots of people have their threads moved out of that section.

You will probably get more help and comments here anyway. Because of the amount of traffic the FF gets, there is a high change your thread might have sunk to the bottom quickly without as many people seeing your thread or stopping to comment.

[n.waters]

I know it can be fustrating, but crits give you pointers or help you when you get stuck in a rut..even if you think its finished or you dont think its a rut.. Art still has rules. and dont get so defensive take it frome some one who knows . look at my work before crits and after. BEFORE www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=86501
AFTERwww.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=88914 I resisted the crits to at first. but its a journey. and a lot of people pay big money for this in art school. Ive learned more here than I ever did in school.. and I hope this happens for you.