second page comic

[Pojo]

the first page is here: http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=88697

I'm doing this for practice, the idea is that the by the end of the story, I'll have improved vastly, so although I'm not going to redraw this page, I'm going to try and keep all criticisms in mind when I make the next one.

Unless theres something easy to fix like grammar problems...

[Dan!]

(edit) jus read the first page, it is a mask lol sorry. Also you may want to add a "POW!" or some action lines to the third frame, it took a second for me to figure what was happening. Some of the details look a bit strange in the torso portion of the white guys sweater. keep it up!

[Pojo]

lol, I was about to say that until I just re-read your post!

Thanks for the help, I knew it was bad, but I only just realised how horrendous the chest is, I'll get some references next time. I'm not too sure about the 'pow' sound thing, since it's a bit too cliched. I was thinking it over when I drew it, and wondered whether or not people would know what's going on, so thanks for your feedback, I'll try to figure out someway to make it more convincing.