Night Star

[PearlPhoenix]

Decided to post this here instead of sketches, since I decided to discontinue it (well...I'm not sure really...I will prolly pick up on it again like I did with another image, if I see anymore potential in this one :) ), I dont feel it will sit in well in being "complete" because I got lazy in the end...well..tired XD

The more I did this the more flaws I saw, it got frustrating cuz I have other concept art to do xD;;...I didn't want to spend more time, I always find though that next time I do an image like this, I do it quicker and better.

This is a concept in my graphic novel that I'm working on. The mech is called the Night Star. It is combined with human and alien technology, and in the back is a tank that shares the same kind of technology, except it does not have the green orbs that hold the mech together like magnets. From the story scene my co-writer wrote, the Night Star fought off 2 tanks, which is why you can see it is in pretty bad shape but can still wipe out more soldiers (hey, notice the soldiers in the back? XD)

Any suggestions, criticism is much appreciated I need to work on my perspective >/....

87150

forgot to mention, this is on a different planet. I thought I'd make the atmosphere and moon a bit unusual XD....

[ATAnderson]

I like your rendering, I like the use of bright shiny colour that your stuff tends to have, I like the malfunctioning gun on the left of the image & I really like the sky. I like your concept aswell, hard to make out the tank but that information would be in other frames of the comic right.

The only thing that is not selling this for me is your compostion. The four main elements are:- the mech, the tank, the sky and the soldiers. The soldiers are creeping in at the sides and all the others are right bang down the centre of the page. You say you dont want to continue this one so I won't do any drawing to show. But if you think in terms of where you want the viewer to be placed. At the moment the viewer is floating in front of the Center of the shot. Your mech is tall so mabye drop the horizon line and put the viewer on the ground, you could have some soldiers as foreground elements and some nearer the mech in the mid ground to show scale.Then you could have the tank exploding slightly over and back from the mech so it was an element of its own. You could also have some of those background lights on the hanger/structure (which you could then show more of) reflecting into that wicked sky of yours.

Hope I'm not teaching you to to suck eggs here but I find thumbnails are the best way to get a compostion for this type of painting. Also you seem like you really like to get immersed in your painting/art - doing really rough small thumbnails always takes me in new directions just through the loosness and suggestion.

Hope this is helpful.

Adam,

[PearlPhoenix]

I like your rendering, I like the use of bright shiny colour that your stuff tends to have, I like the malfunctioning gun on the left of the image & I really like the sky. I like your concept aswell, hard to make out the tank but that information would be in other frames of the comic right.

The only thing that is not selling this for me is your compostion. The four main elements are:- the mech, the tank, the sky and the soldiers. The soldiers are creeping in at the sides and all the others are right bang down the centre of the page. You say you dont want to continue this one so I won't do any drawing to show. But if you think in terms of where you want the viewer to be placed. At the moment the viewer is floating in front of the Center of the shot. Your mech is tall so mabye drop the horizon line and put the viewer on the ground, you could have some soldiers as foreground elements and some nearer the mech in the mid ground to show scale.Then you could have the tank exploding slightly over and back from the mech so it was an element of its own. You could also have some of those background lights on the hanger/structure (which you could then show more of) reflecting into that wicked sky of yours.

Hope I'm not teaching you to to suck eggs here but I find thumbnails are the best way to get a compostion for this type of painting. Also you seem like you really like to get immersed in your painting/art - doing really rough small thumbnails always takes me in new directions just through the loosness and suggestion.

Hope this is helpful.

Adam,

I know I say I will prolly not continue this :) but any help will actually help me in the future, so I really don't mind you doing a paintover or some samples ^^ feel free to do so!

Ah, I do find the image is "scattered"?, you are right about that, now that I think about it, it looks more like a comic panel, where in the next panel it would show the tank more (like u said) then the soldiers getting attention from the camera panelling to them (giving them their own panel) and etc. I was trying to do a more dramatic painting but I was still not satisfied....but now you pin pointed it to me XD

from your description, I can definitly picture what you meant (THAT's surprising....usually I have to read 2-3 times to understand some criticism lol). So thank you, now I better understand what makes good composition :). I will keep that in mind... I'll also use the thumbnail method XD. I could have used that before doing this image...because i had to change the background several times to get the right perspective and scene >/....

Thank you again for your help and compliments :)

[Anid Maro]

Huh... this looks familiar somehow... :)

Woah, the background's changed quite a bit since the last time I saw this. I have to be honest though, I liked the old background better.

Not so much because I think the old one was rendered better, or prettier, but because it didn't compete with the 'mech for my attention.

This new background has too much going on near the 'mech causing the image as a whole feel scattered and chaotic, it's hard for me to focus on any one thing. By comparison the old background was much more subdued, which made the 'mech stand out clearly and grab my focus.

I like the details you added to the mech, particularly the sparks flying out of his right arm/cannon. They feel very crisp and contrast nicely with the smoke that is billowing out.

Your composition, as ATAnderson points out, is really the weakest part of the picture. I've attached a few images regarding this.

In the first image, I highlighted what the current composition is.

Firstly what's wrong here is that the 'mech is dead center, which from what I've learnt about composition, is a big no-no due to the fact that it's kind of boring.

Secondly almost all of the action is happening in that center square, most of the mech is shown there and you have some sort of explosion going on. But aside from some soldiers and the sun, there is nothing else going on, giving a feeling of dead space.

In the next image I cropped the original and extended out further to the right (with a really lame paintover :)) for, in my opinion, a more interesting composition. In the third image I highlight the composition.

Now here we've completely lost the dead space that was to the left and bottom of the original image. Furthermore the 'mech is no longer right at the center of the image.

The sky should be interesting enough to keep the top from feeling empty and the 'mech's left cannon/arm naturally draws the eye towards the right which can be filled up with more soliders and additional details on the hangar/building.

Also definately use thumbnail sketches, they can really help you figure this kind of stuff out ahead of time.

I don't mean to be only critical here though, there are a lot of cool things you did in this image. Just so you know. :)

Hmm, it seems I got a little carried away with this post, but oh well. I do hope this was all of some help for you though. :)

[PearlPhoenix]

Huh... this looks familiar somehow... :)

Woah, the background's changed quite a bit since the last time I saw this. I have to be honest though, I liked the old background better.

Not so much because I think the old one was rendered better, or prettier, but because it didn't compete with the 'mech for my attention.

This new background has too much going on near the 'mech causing the image as a whole feel scattered and chaotic, it's hard for me to focus on any one thing. By comparison the old background was much more subdued, which made the 'mech stand out clearly and grab my focus.

I like the details you added to the mech, particularly the sparks flying out of his right arm/cannon. They feel very crisp and contrast nicely with the smoke that is billowing out.

Your composition, as ATAnderson points out, is really the weakest part of the picture. I've attached a few images regarding this.

In the first image, I highlighted what the current composition is.

Firstly what's wrong here is that the 'mech is dead center, which from what I've learnt about composition, is a big no-no due to the fact that it's kind of boring.

Secondly almost all of the action is happening in that center square, most of the mech is shown there and you have some sort of explosion going on. But aside from some soldiers and the sun, there is nothing else going on, giving a feeling of dead space.

In the next image I cropped the original and extended out further to the right (with a really lame paintover :)) for, in my opinion, a more interesting composition. In the third image I highlight the composition.

Now here we've completely lost the dead space that was to the left and bottom of the original image. Furthermore the 'mech is no longer right at the center of the image.

The sky should be interesting enough to keep the top from feeling empty and the 'mech's left cannon/arm naturally draws the eye towards the right which can be filled up with more soliders and additional details on the hangar/building.

Also definately use thumbnail sketches, they can really help you figure this kind of stuff out ahead of time.

I don't mean to be only critical here though, there are a lot of cool things you did in this image. Just so you know. :)

Hmm, it seems I got a little carried away with this post, but oh well. I do hope this was all of some help for you though. :)

Actually, I like that paintover idea alot better than my current look >/

yes u almost lost me, but i get the point lol, I better understand the composition now, since 2 explanations helps my slow mind move a bit faster D:, tho I still dont like my original background idea. it was too tilted, making the land look like it was sinking, then i tried fixing it...which i did....but for some reason i jus lost alot of flavor to it. I guess my real goal was to be able to learn to paint mechanics better, AND a decent background, not the usual "OMG theres a city in the distance" background type, I wanted to try upclose more :).... Now I have a composition problem XD....but its a learning process, the more I experiment the more I will learn.

But don worry, I do see ur point about the original backgroumd, it did make the mech stand out more XD...andt thjere was not much empty space. I need to use the thumbnail method next time lol

I know the image is not perfect XD....it's why I posted here, I know I'd get some helpful critique :3 You guys are awesome, thx for spending the time to help me out :) It really is helping with my learning progress <3

[afterthought]

you got too much lightsaber glow thingy everwhere, it's kinda confusing for the eye, cuz they're essentially all highlights. the eye doesn't know what to focus on.

also with the new composition, jus add more to the right, don't cut off parts of the left. the way he cut off the arm and leg is....yea, not good.
i'd move the tank a little bit to the right so you could see it better, less overlap. maybe on the right side u could include some soldier dudes in the forground.

don't give up, keep going!

[PearlPhoenix]

you got too much lightsaber glow thingy everwhere, it's kinda confusing for the eye, cuz they're essentially all highlights. the eye doesn't know what to focus on.

also with the new composition, jus add more to the right, don't cut off parts of the left. the way he cut off the arm and leg is....yea, not good.
i'd move the tank a little bit to the right so you could see it better, less overlap. maybe on the right side u could include some soldier dudes in the forground.

don't give up, keep going!

Oh, I am not gonna cut off the arm lol,...I worked too hard to cut the purdy thing off

The lights, I can definitly understand, the distance of the glow is too much XD....I must admit I overdid that.

I won't give up :) ... I just need to find the time to make this image better, and another image that I made and posted here. If it truly looks good enough maybe I'll post in the finished section. Don't mind my low confidence, the way I remind myself my art could be better is the way I improve XD...if I cant find a way to improve, things get boring >/....I really love to experiment

thank you for your tips and encouragement :) I will keep this topic marked so it does not get lost LOL