Night Time Navigator (pre-lim drawing and painting, too.)

[madplanet]

I'm looking for some feedback on this drawing. I've been kicking around this idea for some time now and it won't get done until I pick up the pencil, right? After taking some photo references and doing a bunch of sketches, I didn't use any of that and just went with what was in my imagination. I kind of like it, but would be nice to see what others thought. Sorry for the two-tone look, I pieced two scans together and as I'm too computer savy, this is what came out. Hopefully that won't matter for what I'm looking for.


Now, what I would like to know:

1. Does the distortion and lack of perspective hurt this

2. Does the handle near the navigator's head look like it's sticking out of his mouth (is it noticable?)

3. anything else?

Thanks for any feedback. The plan is to do this as a painting and I just wanted to work out some kinks.

[emily g]

I don't think the distortion is a bad thing.
One thing that is making it confusing for me is that the bedposts on the left side of the pic overlap each other.
I did think that the handle was sticking out of his mouth.

[sickelsick]

this is a cool pic. the distortion doesnt hurt.

the main problem is what u mentioned. the handle in his mouth. it was the first thing i noticed. the overlapping bedposts on the left is kind of confusing too. but if it was colored, it might look a little different.

if u bent the front bedposts a little more, it might seem more intentional than mistake. u know what i mean?

[madplanet]

emily g: An obvious tangent with the bed posts. And I missed it:) Yeah, that handle is bad I have to admit. It looks like he's playing the bagpipes or something.

sickelsick: I'm glad that the distortion doesn't hurt the pic because I feel that's what kind of makes it appealing.

When I start the painting for this i'll change the bed posts and that damn handle near the mouth. Thanks a bunch for the critique you two.

[madplanet]

Ok, here is the painting that was done from the initial drawing with the necessary adjustments. Sometimes the drawings look better than the paintings, so my question is... does it work? I like it and am very happy with it, but would like to know what others think.

[JL.Alfaro]

Looks alot better than the initial sketch, theres way too much black on the top, IMO. I cant read the expression on the man very well either. Make sure you bring some of the pajamas' blue into the bg or fg.

-JL

[chaosrocks]

hmm
I would say yes on the handle in th emouth..I thought he was sucking on it. but I see you changed that. My concern would be that as a value drawing your value range is really very short. And your values don't appear to be "composed" in an organised fashion. The messy active lively hatching behind the bed is the liveliest part of the piece really. its in the center and very agitated.

I have adjusted the value scale so you actually have black and whites. I haven't changed anythign else.

In the color version you still have the problem withthe value structure and you have added the complication of saturated colour drawing th eye around too.
You need the guy in the bed to be the r bightest color and the most saturated colour. the color should then fade in saturation and hue as it fades off in to the darkness.
I like this image. its really fun. I think you could give it a lot more punch and power....

[madplanet]

JLAlfaro: I agree with the face, as that has been bothering me, too, but I'm afraid that the black is stuck the way it is,as the acrylic washes don't resond too well over the opaque black. There is a little of the blue from the pj's in the background but it's hard to see as the purples dominate. I was also thinking of putting some of those purples in the darker areas of the pajamas.

Chaosrocks: When I posted that this was a value drawing, I was thinking somewhat the same thing. I guess it was more of a preliminary drawing just to see what I wanted. Thanks for taking the time to make those adjustments, it's much appreciated. I've been tinkering with it some, the painting, that is, but I don't know how much more I can do with it. I'll do the best I can, though.

Sorry it took so long to respond, I've been busy and unfortunately haven't been on site much, but I really appreciate the crits and are taking them to heart as I work on this. Thanks all.