Oasis- style problem-

[.:RAPUNZEL:.]

hi,

i wanna do a desert motive. all done in photoshop with my mouse- about 3 hours so far

now to my problem. i dont like how this turns out. do you recognize the "childish" look?- or is this only my opinion?

what can i do to save this piece and give him a more stylish/authentic look...

C&C highly appreciated,

cu,
baba
.:RaPuNzEl:.

http://reinher.bei.t-online.de/oase.jpg

[J.Peckham]

hey i like this image. but i see what ou mean. the technique is awesome but the composition seems a bit bland and maybe some of the perspective might be a little off (not much) but damn good for using a mouse. i think maybe working from a thumbnail would help a lot. get out a pencil and see how you can make it more stimulating. also before you do this. just sit and think about what exactly you want out of this piece. it's definitly not just "i want a picture of a sand castle" maybe some action or motion like a foreshortened air baloon in the foreground. i don't know. maybe this will help. don't give up, if anything you can use this as a background for a future project!!
-J

[.:RAPUNZEL:.]

thanx for your fast reply, J.Peckham. if added some elements in the foreground- and now it looks much better.

baba
.:RaPuNzRl:.

http://reinher.bei.t-online.de/osase_final.jpg

[coriat]

it doesnt just look better, it looks really cool!
wtg!!
finish it!
:chug:

[Fipse]

The second version looks a lot better! I wish I wouldn´t be so lazy drawing architecture (and I´m doing historical illustration most of time ;)

Nice work!

[Oblio]

The child look seemed to me that came from boo bright colors - the tree green especially.
I have desaturated it a little, put more contrast on the front balcony and got a big white airbrush with 10% opacity over the castle and a little on the desert in the left.
I don't kow it it;s any better or if it is close r to what you wanted but.. i've tried my luck :)

http://members.fortunecity.com/afantana/oaza.jpg

Oblio

[.:RAPUNZEL:.]

thanks for your comments....

@Oblio: u are right!! the white airbrush layer is great- love the foggy/atmospheric feeling. i have also softened the green, now it looks more realistic.

baba
.:RaPuNzEl:.

[Svanur]

Seems to me that you are going in the right direction, so far it's looking very good. Personally I think it needs more "Life" so to speak, like a caravan entering or some beggars or merchants outside the walls selling their stuff.

Keep it up.

[chukw]

Here's my two cents: Tell a story with your design. If you want to make this look more "real", you've got to address it as a real environment, with a history behind it. These desert outposts don't get built in a week. Who designed it? Was it built from a single plan or did it evolve over a generation or two? What's it made out of? Has it ever been attacked or damaged by a force of nature and subsequently repaired? A big fort like that needs a lot of support- people come and go, and not everybody gets to live within the walls- little tents and huts would gather up against them.

I'd show some variation in the architecture- part would be old and crumbly, with newer portions designed and built by other hands with less or more elaboration in detail. That one little awning you have gives so much life! Structures exist in time as well as space. The desert is a harsh place-the stucco would dry and slough off, revealing the brick/stone/whatever underneath.

Also think about the location itself- doubtless there's a source of water that would be within the walls, but what about the foundations of this mighty structure? Not on the ol' shifting sands, baby! Maybe it's nestled up against rocky cliffs, or on a stoney spur of mountain foothill. Any scrubby local vegetation?

Well, there's a start- I haven't even asked you what the structure's purpose is yet. Why don't you tell us more about it?

[.:RAPUNZEL:.]

sorry had an exam last week- no painting, just learning....

@chukw: thanks for your advices. my main problem ist that i think abaut a scene, scribble some stuff, and start painting. i always start to painting befor i cleared all aspects of my motive. yes i think about the history behind the scene, about the function of the elements, but then the "painting fever" hits me....

thanks for your comments. i´am trying hard to improve my style and keep the conceptual elements in my mind. i will post an update during the next days.

thanks all, and hope you get my thoughts (my english is poor),

cu

.:RaPuNzEL:.