Missing someone so much it hurts...

[vigostar]

So, about for months ago I borke up with my at the time "live in GF". We had our issues like I guess every relationship has and for the last few weeks it hasnt been getting easier but, harder. I miss that girl so much now that I think its making me sick. Shes in Ecuador for a month, getting back around the 18th and all I keep on thinking about is how to get her back... I know alot of people get the holiday blues this time of year. We start to reflect on the year and the vents that have unfolded and I guess Im doing the same. How are we supposed to know when to give up or if somethings really worth fighting for... I mean yes, we drive eachother crazy but, I think its part of what makes us work. I dont know.... I know all my friends would say its a bad idea. To just let things go... But, happiness in life is the most important thing to me and she makes me happier then anyone else I know.. UGGGGGH... I think Im just rambling but, if anyone has any thoughts... Insightfull serious thoughts.. Not, "grow some balls you fucking pussy" or anything close to that I would love to hear them....

[Dan.v.D.]

dunno bout that worth fighting for line... rather ask yourself if it can work!
she should keep you sane instead of driving you crazy. i mean girls will do that to you anyway but the other side should be dominant here i'd say...

[vigostar]

well, I say "fighting for" cuz we've gone through this already and we keep on coming back to eachother. Ive been in serious relationship before but, this one has a spell on me. Can it work.... Yes, I think that we have to settle our sides and burry some hatchets and just enjoy life for the gifts it has granted us.

[sve]

Rob, once you told that she is an honest person... I am against fighting for love, I don't look at it like this. Free will is the base for a right relationship between two people for me. We don't owe people. But...
I would say if you know that person is sincere and mature enough to give you her honest answer, what she has on her mind, I would suggest a good, deep honest conversation about how you feel and what is important for you and know her thoughts about it. This is in case if you prefer knowing truth, any truth ( which I think is your nature) than living in a fantasy.
This is in case if you think her heart is still not occupied by someone. And even if you don't know it I personally think it is worth asking, to stop the agony and ambiguous situation. This is in case if you think she has a heart and able to understand you.
If you don't trust to open your heart to her already now... well, don't ask and I don't believe anything really solid and good will happen if you two are back together. It might be a tolerable relationship still, but... with each of you having something to hide. Openness is better. :).
Ignore my words if you think they are wrong for you, buddy and hope you will be better soon.

[vigostar]

Thanks Sve.. Yes, the best solution is just an honest conversation about everything. everything she wants and everything I want. Its wonderfull and fantastical to say that a relation should just eithe work or not work but, thr truth is that its always work. Just as long as the work is positive I think its good work... If that makes an sense... your right about "fighting" for love.. I think Im using the wrong word...

[chaosrocks]

it's worth it.....

married 25 years.... it's not always easy... but worth it
IMHO
of course.. good luck and better times ahead
chaos

[bLux]

I can't exactly say I know how you feel, because I am only 15 and I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time, but there is a girl I can't get over and now she is in New York for a week. I tell her everything, and try my hardest to let her know that I like her....without making a complete fool of myself. :bashful:

The only thing that I think will be best is for you to trust yourself. If you actually think it'll work out, then go for it. Ask her opinion on the relationship, after all....honesty is a major part of a relationship. If you think you won't be happy with another girl, then try to at least be best friends with her or something.

I'm not Dr.Phil though, but I hope everything works out. :rendered:

[Professor Az]

chaos has me beat by two years, and I can honestly say it's worth it to stick it out... when the good times outweigh the bad, it is most certainly worth it.

HOWEVER - If you have to fight that hard, it may be time to let it go. Plenty of fish in the sea, if you love something set it free, and all that cliched stuff.

Here's hoping for the best. :yayca:

[vigostar]

Chaos- Thank you... I will keep the faith.

xBrianx- thanks... Never feel foolish about telling someone how you feel. One of the worst injustices you can do is deny yourself a chance at happiness. If she happens to laugh or snicker then you know thats not a person that will value you.

Prof.az- Thanks... Ive always been a believer of "if you love them set them free". Its the way it should be. Im going to see what happens when she comes back. Move slowly. Certain things are going to be changing in our lives soon. I think those changes would have a positive impact on our relationship if we get that far.

Thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement.

[Idiot Apathy]

Hey man, if you look at it like an unfeeling robot - you've got nothing to lose, go for it man!

You are right, happiness is the most important thing in life - get the girl back. If you want to be with her and she wants to be with you you'll fix your problems.

Good luck dude!

[asoir]

"Ohh, man.. Take off the skirt and grow some hair on your chest sally.."

;)

[le capitan]

i agree with sve. I think you should just tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels. best thing right now would probably be to get so that you're at least friends and complete. have no regrets type thingy....if that makes sense.

after two years of hiding my feelings for a girl i finally told her just so i could try and move on. i thought by telling her all this stuff would freak her out and scare her away, but instead it worked amazingly and ive moved on in the relationship. we still arent dating yet, but i have high hopes that now seem closer now.

good luck, and always remember theres plenty of starfish in the sea. i know that piece of advice is annoying as hell, but it's true.

[otis]

Insightfull serious thoughts.. Not, "grow some balls you fucking pussy" or anything close to that I would love to hear them....

sorry, but this IS what you need to hear.

Pick up your balls and move on dude. Christ!
BTW, Why would any guy want to live with a girl??! Marrriage requires that crap.

[otis]

Don't mean to sound harsh, but seriously, you will meet thousands of girls. NEWS FLASH: There is not only one person in this world for you. Have fun man.

Once again... MOVE ON!!

[Flake]

BTW, Why would any guy want to live with a girl??!

I can think of several reasons, they should be pretty obvious

[Undertow]

Don't fool yourself by dragging on a failed relationship any longer than you already have. One very important life lesson that I've learned is that when a relationship ENDS, it ends for a reason. You're never going to stop loving that person, but it's never going to work romantically. Once you decide that enough is enough and you break it off for the first time, that is the signal to move on. Yeah it sucks but you're going to have to learn to deal with it. Everyone has one of those relationships where the fights are incredible, the sex is incredible, but you're just not compatible. When you've found the woman you're going to marry, you'll know. I met my wife and was married 3 months later. We've been married for over 4 years.

[modern]

all i can say is, think about her. love is not selfish.

[Tully]

Here's a good question to ask yourself in such times...

Do you miss *her* or do you miss what you wanted her to be?

Oftentimes when you just get out of a relationship, you go through a mourning period and wish you had the other person back. Generally speaking, this isn't because the person was right for you. It's because you had expectations and hopes for the relationship... it's these you miss.

Also, generally speaking, a relationship won't work the second time around if the problems that caused it to end in the first place aren't somehow removed or sufficiently dealt with. Don't get back together with her until you know for certain that this is the case.

I'm a believer that if both people want enough for a relationship to work and are willing to do what it takes to make that happen, it takes something pretty extreme to stop it.

But remember, if she doesn't want you enough to do that it takes to keep you, she's a moron and doesn't deserve you. I don't know you, but it's something everybody needs to believe about themselves. Good luck with it :)

[vigostar]

Well, I was pretty siked because she called me last night right before I was leaving from work.. Totally changed my mood in a blink of an eye.

Im not going to drag anything out more then it needs to be. I know when to can a quits. Ive done it many times before and I'll do it again. Of course there are many fish in the sea. And maybe to a certain degree I do need a little more hair on my chest but, I think that sometimes people give up too quickly... the first sight of trouble they run. they dont want to deal with the issues or problems.. And if thats what works for them then thats fine but, nothings perfect and even though it typically seems that way from the get-go it never really is...

anyways.. Thanks everyone for their kind advice. I look forward to what the new year has to offer...

[sweetoblivion314]

If you think you won't be happy with another girl, then try to at least be best friends with her or something.

you probably arent old enough to figure this out yet. But that is the dumbest idea in the world. trust me.

[vigostar]

you probably arent old enough to figure this out yet. But that is the dumbest idea in the world. trust me.

Not true.. I think its a matter of maturity.. I think it takes some time apart but, I'd much rather have her in my life as a friend that not have her in my life at all... I mean after all... She was my friend before we started dating.

[JAG.]

ehhh i didnt read every single post in this thread, but i'll tell you what i know from personal experience:

about 98% of the population seem to get the words 'love' and 'attachment' confused. they're with someone for so long that they become used to each other. and no matter how much they fight or drive each other nuts, they just wont let go of a bad thing cuz they get caught up in nonsense like:

- well all couples go thru tough times..
- its just that we've been thru so much..
- we have our good moments..
- i just cant imagine not having them in my life..

and bla bla bla... everyone always has an excuse, but they complain about how much it sucks to have to deal with it. it breaks down to this:

not EVERYONE you meet will be the perfect match for you, so STOP expecting it to be so. if it doesnt work, then it doesnt work. move on to the next one and so on until you find the one thatd DOES work. the more time you waste tryin to hang on to this relationship or this person, the more time you'll 'waste' when you've finally moved on. you'll look back and feel like an ass for having drawn it out for so long... so just get on with it.

someone already mentioned about all the fish in the sea.. so try a couple, dont get caught up with the first or second one you caught, geez.

and you'll KNOW when its right.. when it works. cuz you wont be in situations like this and everything will be good and you'll both be happy.

this is what ive learned thru my escapades and i am indeed now very happy.. just wish i had learned this sooner.. best of luck - JAG

[shaoshao]

Ive had a few bad experiences with men who think that 'fighting for love' is the right way to go. If you guys broke up then in all likely hood shes over it already.

Its not worth it.

In my experience all of the men who have continued to chase me after we broke up weather for a few weeks or months or years I usually ended up being full of contempt annoyance and bitterness about them. If you just let it end, recover yourself and really reflect on what went wrong with a clear and objective head then perhaps you can try again. But right now, you run a huge risk of alienating your girl even more and not really considering what went wrong between you.

On the other hand if she comes to you then you might have a chance but I think that you should really value this opportunity you've been given to reflect on your relationship and learn to be happy alone.

sorry if it sounds cold but i thought it might be nice to hear it from the girl's perspective.

[thirdeye]

Sympathies mate - exactly what I'm going through right now. Fucking hurts. It's already few months for me but still - reading stuff like this, knowing exactly how you feel - makes me feel like someone's sitting on my chest.

I also fought for a while. It was the worst couple of months in my whole life. Then decided to let go. Figured out that since I loved her the only thing I can do is to let her go. Disappear from her life. Not make it any more messy than it already was for both of us.

Good news is - it goes away with time. Pain goes away. Memories don't come hunting you that much anymore. She occasionally appears in your dreams, sometimes you find something she gave you, photos etc. But with time it doesn't make you want to jump out the window ... that much :P

Take care :)

Oh - and the friendship "after the fact" thing - I never understood that idea. Being friends with you GF/BF is the most important thing in relationship, but for me - when the relationship ends there's no friendship left. That's just the way it works IMO. Whatever you'll try to build after breaking up - will never be a real friendship.

[JL.Alfaro]

Im still friends with most of my ex's...and I get to bang em whenever I meet up with them...you know..."for good ol times sake"..he he

There is an old and super corny saying that says something like...:If you love something-let it go, if it comes back to you its yours but if it doesn't it never was ...something like that...I've always used that in my previous relationships and it has always worked out for the best. Now grow some hair in your nut sack ...

[sweetoblivion314]

Not true.. I think its a matter of maturity.. I think it takes some time apart but, I'd much rather have her in my life as a friend that not have her in my life at all... I mean after all... She was my friend before we started dating.

Believe me the complications from everything will not let a friendship last. Having feelings for someone cannot be put aside for friendship. They are far to complicated and you will regret it every moment. You'll wish for something more but you know you cant have it. You give up hope, but not just in that one thing, in alot of things. Its a horrible way to go about life.

[Magic Man]

you probably arent old enough to figure this out yet. But that is the dumbest idea in the world. trust me.

Agreed, the friendship thing rarely works out. Best move on.

[vigostar]

Well, on this whole "friendship" topic... Im still friends with 3 of my ex's and we have great relationships... We talk pretty often and have great conversations.. Actually the best part of having a relationship with an ex is that they will give you the best advice because they know how you operate... I dont have a personal issue with that sort of thing..

Thirdeye- Sorry to hear that bro... Alot of the times all this crap is easier said then done and the easy way out is usually doing whats wrong and not right. The only thing I can say is use all of that energy you have from that heart ache and transfer it into your artwork.. Unfortunately when I feel down I cant draw for the life of me... so, Im fucked basically.

Thanks again everyone for their comments. Always interesting to see a nice range of comments and advices..

[Flake]

I get on fine with one of my exes, I went to the same Uni as her new husband and we'd often bump into each other during smoke breaks etc, he's a cool guy as well, no problem really.
There are another couple that I'd quite happily hang out with if I met them down the pub or something.

In fact there are only really one or two in the "evil hellbitch that I never want to see again" category..

[janni]

i've gone through something VERY similar like a month ago and i know how you can actually suffer physically from loosing love. some people are giving crazy advice here. i don't know u and ur situation so all i can do is assume a couple of things. but your're so right about being lucky is everything that counts. my advice would be, use the time alone to look at her from a distance again. try to see her core and find out what makes you love her and what connects you. probably in the beginning of your relationship you weren't "driving eachother crazy". sit down and find out what exactly changed. find out how your behaviour changed and hers. do you like how you changed? if not, change it. look for misunderstanding between you and her. try to understand her point of view and how she might feel. try think about how you both behave in a fight. in my experience problems usually start in a series of disappointments. the more u love somebody the more it hurts if he/she disappoints you or when you feel like she might have dissappointed you or changed in an unpleasent way. it's kind of vicious circle. you get disappointed and without noticing change your behaviour and probably disappoint her with that and then she is hurt and changes more and so forth. when people break up a long time relationship they are just always like "i just don't understand him/her anymore, he/she isn't the person i used to know". sometimes that's true and people change of course. so like i said, try to look at her from a distance and see the person she is and the person you are / might have become. what kind of person do you want to be? analyze the way you discuss and start to be the most conscious about what the words you choose exactly communicate to your partner. it can be quite hard for a man to discuss with a woman and vice versa. often they have a different style to say things and without noticing misunderstand or even insult eachother.
oh well, does any of this make any sense? i hope so. all i want to say is don't give up before you know that you're not giving up the love of your live. sometimes very little misunderstandings and a lack of communication can build up to a confusion between partners that even the truest love won't survive.
do what makes you happy and if you want to just stay friends with her do that. maybe even after some time have past you might come back together or you'll find the best 'good friend' of your live in her. don't rush anything. time will tell.
all the best to you man!

oh and on the "use those emotions to create art topic" - i can't do it either when i'm too devastated. but the memories of those realy sad moments wlll be very worthy whenever you need to communicate something similar in any piece of art. wheter it's a story, painting or a song. just like method acting. so even the darkest moments in your life will enrich you in the end. even if you're not aware while you're down.

[Nyx702]

Sympathies mate - exactly what I'm going through right now. Fucking hurts. It's already few months for me but still - reading stuff like this, knowing exactly how you feel - makes me feel like someone's sitting on my chest.

Same here...:nohope:

I know that it goes away in time but those flash backs still hurt...Mine ended up sleeping with some one else and myself, as a visual person, come up with all kinds of nasty images and those kill.

about 98% of the population seem to get the words 'love' and 'attachment' confused. they're with someone for so long that they become used to each other. and no matter how much they fight or drive each other nuts, they just wont let go of a bad thing cuz they get caught up in nonsense like:

- well all couples go thru tough times..
- its just that we've been thru so much..
- we have our good moments..
- i just cant imagine not having them in my life..

Thank you, this makes me feel much better. It made me reilize that my feelings are just an attachment, thank you again. None the less...it's still hard to get over the physical attachment.

[JAG.]

indeed, the physical connection of having someone close is hard to let go, especially if you've been very intimate or have come to depend on that person.

just the same, let me clarify:

i just meant many people think they're in love, but really aren't. they've become attached to a person and their routine and the comfort of having someone for so long that it seems the world is ending if that person/relationship goes away. and its THAT comfort [the attachment to safety and routine] that people dont want to lose for fear of not knowing what will come in the future. but its not love..

you know damn straight and without a doubt when you're in love cuz it jumps out from nowhere and boot-heel kicks you in the teeth.. cant miss it. and those of you who have been there must know what im talkin about.. it changes your whole life. and once that happens you realize all those things in the past, and people you've dated, and past relationships are ludicrous. you ask yourself all the time: how the f*ck did i let myself do that?? why did i let it go on for so long??

losing someone you truly love is damn near impossible to relieve. you may eventually move on and love someone else, but you NEVER stop loving the prior person. you'll always have a place for them inside, and would gladly help in any way if they needed it. thats just the way it is. not trying to sing a song here but love really is undying. once you got it, you got it for good.. but its certain that you can 'get it' for someone else, if you try to..

at least thats how it was for me.. and for some friends that have admitted the same thing so i guess theres some truth to that.

the physical side of things just makes it that much harder, but just keep in mind that its PHYSICAL. you can get that anywhere anytime from anyone.. dont put so much weight on that. its the emotional connections you need to worry about.

Vigo - hopefully my ramblings are making sense.. and again this is what ive learned thru my years of disasterous experience. dont worry about 'giving up too quickly'.. but understand theres a point where its just too far and to stop if it must be stopped.

working out a relationship is constant work 24-7. and its more than just TALKING about stuff. you really have to FIX what you both say is wrong, not just talk about fixing it. then again, the most common destroyer of relationships is lack of HONEST communication and equal understanding.

now i understand why theres millions of books written on this crap, so maybe i shouldnt write one here.. but be alert man, and realistic. dont force it to happen, and let it go if you see its not going to happen. then move on to the next one.. - JAG

[sweetoblivion314]

Well, on this whole "friendship" topic... Im still friends with 3 of my ex's and we have great relationships... We talk pretty often and have great conversations.. Actually the best part of having a relationship with an ex is that they will give you the best advice because they know how you operate... I dont have a personal issue with that sort of thing..


I get on fine with one of my exes, I went to the same Uni as her new husband and we'd often bump into each other during smoke breaks etc, he's a cool guy as well, no problem really.
There are another couple that I'd quite happily hang out with if I met them down the pub or something.

In fact there are only really one or two in the "evil hellbitch that I never want to see again" category..

theres a distinct difference between being friends with an ex and being friends with someone you have feelings for whether they are an ex or not.

[Sundance]

Hope things are getting better for you man. I stopped reading about half way through these posts when it turned to the debate of being buddies with an ex, and blah, blah, blah...

A similar thing happend to me. A girl and I broke up, I made myself sick over the deal, lost 20 pounds 'cause I wouldn't eat, so on and so forth... I'm married now to someone different, but dude, sometimes my mind drifts back...and it's been a looooooong time.

I am very happy with the things that have developed in my life; now I have two of the most wonderful kids and a wife that loves me. But, if you still feel it, and you feel like you know to end things if it has to be done, give it another go...

Best of luck Rob, and I'm sorry you're going through this shit...especially at the holidays.

[Johann de Venecia]

Jag: About love and physical attachment, yes those are two valid scenarios. But remember, love evolves too. It won't always be a passionate let's have sex on top of the kitchen table kind of feeling, and the butterflies in the stomach eventually fly away, pardon the lame puns. Love transforms from lust to codependency, young love, to mature love. Some mistake this for falling out of love, just because the passion has died down to a slow burn. Not meaning to preach, but I just hate to see folks give up on a good thing, just for the thrill of novelty.

Vigo: Dude, I feel for you. Been there, homeskillet. Its not the best feeling in the world. Two months ago I went through pure hell, going through a nasty break up. Hang in there. Things will get better, whether you get back with her or not. Maybe she'll be back, maybe she won't, but till then, better yourself so she comes back to a confident attractive vigo-superstar. If she doesn't, her loss right? At least you are better prepared to get back in the game. But that is just my man-side talking. Love is too good to give up on. That's what I really think.

Keep ranting. It helps. Message me if you feel like it.


-Johann

[sve]

Johann. I'm happy every time you show up... Hope you are doing great, my dear friend. Happy New Year to you! And to you, Rob!

You said truth, Johann. I will sign up under each word you said.

[2b BOY]

I've been worrying about something a little. After let's say 11th grade. I passed up the greatest relationship i could ever have because I just figured sense I'm in High school it would en up like every other one. So I broke up with her and just stopped lookng.

It's got to the point where I'm not interested in anyone anymore. I just don't give a shit. I occupy that time, with working, and occasionaly doing some things with friends. But, I'm just not interested anyone, and can care less about sex. What the fuck is wrong with me if anything?

Here's an example of how I feel. Last Girl, I went out with her and had a few dates, best girlfriend I could possibly have because she always accepted what I did with my life. I just didnt show any enthusiasm in the relationship to the point she broke up with me, and in the past this would devastate me and try to get her back. But, this time I was more positive about it, more time for me and I just couldnt care less. She called a few times, but the conversations never went anywhere. Hmmm, i have never "fallen" for anyone, in 4-5 years. And, if anyone asks me out I just turn them down, because i always seem to get the weird odd ball ones that are interested in me enough to ask me out.

Heh, same with friends and families. I never really think about why someone is late or not, because I always figure they got caught up in something so i never worry. I suck at giving presents, if I do, only thing good at is conversations if I'm comfortbale enough around the person. my life is fucking weird. One thing I feel bad about is i remember a crippled girl fell when it was raining out and i watched everyone and her, it too approximatly 30 seconds for anyone to gather their shit and help her up. She was crying and everything, all i did was stare, I have no clue what i was thinking my mind just drew a blank. Also i tend to be brutally honest when someone asks a question, LOL and I never mean to offend them. I always seem to offend someone without realising what I did. It sucks. I just never worry, and that bothers many of family members and friends. If I can do something about it I will, if not *shrugs*. I'd try to come up with a good example but I cant think of one.

[sweetoblivion314]

@2b Boy - your afraid. Its bassically as simple as that but its not simple because fear isnt simple at all. People misconstrue fear as some emotion you feel that makes you nervous or keeps you still etc. Fear can be a nulifying effect. You rationalize innately. "im not gonna draw today cause its gonna look like crap/ill learn faster is i get a mentor" "im gonna end it with this girl cause its gonna end anyway" "im not gonna get a present for them cause they might not like it/i dunno what they really like". Thats not being logical its being afraid of something that you cant control. And its because of that fear that you dont care anymore. It has shut down your emotions and its controlling you. Many call it apathy but in the end its just fear and you must fight it.

Now to the tough part. Fighting it is as indivual as your fingerprints. But once you realize what it is it becomes easier. I still battle it everyday (i havent been doing so well this past week look at my SB, no updates).

oddly enough the mantra from dune is pretty helpfull for me atleast.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

[Nyx702]

@2b BOY: It's also called Stoicim, and I am a big follower of the way: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoic

It's ok, it may be fear as sweetoblivion mentioned but in some cases I call it bravery and control. I do fear the woman genius occasionaly but it isn't the cause of my apathy.

@lukavi: Ah, good point. But do you think that love that evolves into attachment is a good thing? I guess it depends on how you partner treats you once you have become attached. Mine treated me poorly so I is a good thing we cut the relationship.

[YVerloc]

Hey Jag,
I've got news for you. You're confusing "love" with "infatuation". Infatuation burns out - the brain chemicals that produce the feelings of euphoria and goo-goo-gaa-gaa don't last for more than a few months. After it goes, attachment and firendship is all you're left with. I hate to kick sand in your romantic eye, but attachment is all there is in a long term relationship.

[sweetoblivion314]

@2b BOY: It's also called Stoicim, and I am a big follower of the way: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoic

It's ok, it may be fear as sweetoblivion mentioned but in some cases I call it bravery and control. I do fear the woman genius occasionaly but it isn't the cause of my apathy.


Personaly and this is not to offend anyone. I do not like the idea of stoicism. I do not agree with its principals and i find shutting yourself off from your emotions inhuman (and yes i did practice it for a time in my attempt to gain "a true objective view on life"). Those are just my beliefs if it works for you more power to ya.

Either way i would not call his form of stoicism bravery and control since it was not self induced and he is obviously not happy about it.

[squidmonk3j]

stop worrying. go draw.

[vigostar]

Lukavi- my amigo.. Glad to see you stick your neck out in my sissy like thread here.. I completely agree with you 100%. I think most people have this interesting theory one what they feel love is and thats why most people go through life looking for it. Love has alot to do with acceptance and complacentcy. Its like older people that find "love" its not in attraction, its typically about companionship.. Ultimately the most important thing about a relationship is can you be friends because after your dick doesnt work and the titties start looking like flapjacks what you want is someone that you can sit on your front porch with and crack jokes about the good ole days... Love def. evolves....

Squidmonk3J- theres always some jerkoff that cant seem to stay away from a thread and just has to say something... Go draw.. What about.. Be original..

[JAG.]

Jag: ... remember, love evolves too... I just hate to see folks give up on a good thing, just for the thrill of novelty. -Johann

of course, that's completely correct. but it has to be understood as well. love certainly evolves from just sex and butterflies to a much more emotional level of codependence and connection with that person. but that takes some SERIOUS time or some serious events to mold people into that state.. or level of love. doesnt happen after a few months or a few good dates.

and it also does NOT mean that just cuz you've been with someone for 4 years, you're supposed to be in love. 1, 4, or 12 years doesnt mean love if it isnt really love. the right person, feelings, connections.. thats what matters not the length of time. too many people get together and after 3 months they're 'in love', then they break up and cant let it go cuz they 'were in love'

sorry but :bs: if it were real and true love. you wouldnt have broken up.. or at least not so easily. id fight thru hell for my love, id be dead without it. money, distance, time.. nothing should break the bonds of real love. and if two people find themselves falling apart over some squabbling [or constant fighting] then its time to re-assess the situation. 'Is this real love, or just attachment?'

Love gets thrown around too carelessly these days.. and its just a word, meaningless. but the emotions resultant from it are much harder to neglect, and you'll really feel it when you do, if it is the case of real love. heartache does not result from habbits.. or loss of habbits i should say. - JAG

[ah.heng]

what really hurts is that it's the holidays and when you go out, you realise that all the couples out there are doing when you had originally planned to do, going where you planned to go.

[Carnifex]

in my eyes what hurts most is when you know you love someone,you're friends with him/her,he/she is single and available,you'd do anything for that person,but you won't ever get the chance to.

edit: or,as ah.heng said,seeing all the happy couples around you,and just feeling terribly lonely suddenly.
anyways vigo,hope you've worked it out alright now :)

[vigostar]

Thanks Carni...