From Republic to Empire2 : FEEDBACK please

[tegehel]

This is the 2nd (out of 5) of the Orc Empire pentology. I would like some feedback please, it's not quite finished yet and I'd like other eyes to see potential problems, etc... thanks, C.

This was the first one: From Republic to Empire: Orc Invasion (http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7373)

http://www.tegehel.org/graphics/newfolio/web/Veni_Vidi_Vici2_v1.jpg

[9ine]

The only thing that stands out to me are the blades on the left orc's right hand. I think it just needs a little contrast and refinement... the left orc's hand holding the sword looks kinda odd to me, like it's slightly out of whack proportionally.

With that said, though, I think the piece rocks. I like the flow of the composition and the lighting is sweet. I especially like the right orc's armor around the torso. Really sweet work, dude, looking forward to the next 3. :nana

[Irate Customer]

Great lighting and motion in this one. I agree with the above post on the claw, it needs a push. Great mood set here.

Irate

[tegehel]

thanks for the comments, I'll work on it. It's weird, 9ine, the Orc's hand is actually based on a reference (photo of myself). The hand's closer to the viewer so it looks bigger, but I do see other problems with it now that you focused my attention to it, thanks.

As for the claw, I agree. I'm just worrying that if I make the reflection "logical", that is much whiter and brighter, it will totally take over the focus of attention. It already is, almost. Well, I'll try a few things.

[adien]

the left orcs right eye is bothering me a little. it looks sad instead of angry. maybe bring the middle of the brow down some, he doesn't look like the line of his brow is even (maybe raise the his left brow up slightly, so the other side doesn't have to go down as far). also, the highlight on that eye makes it look like he has an iris with a visible white part of the eye, and that he is looking off to the left of the picture and a little up. not sure if that made sense? the only problem i see with the left orcs right hand is he doesn't quite seem to be holding the sword straight. what i mean is if he swings it, it won't hit his target squarely with the edge of the blade. i think either the blade should be turned so we see less of the flat of the blade, or his fist should be turned so we see more towards the back of his hand. hard to explain.

awesome detail in this, amazing colors. i love the maps in the background, the detail in the armor, especially the left forearm of the left orc, and the plate circling the right orcs stomach! Those teeth! i expect these guys see peoples backs alot more than their fronts, as people turn tail and run. :)

[krayz]

Great piece. Everything is so nicely detailed. My only crit would be the orc on the right... seems a bit flat.. and they don't seem to be facing each other.

[Wight Zombie]

the left orcs pupils seem to be going toward the viewer, not the other orc, they really arent locking eyes, the right orcs right hand claw, the blades seem a bit sketchy compared to the cleaness of the others. also the right orcs right hand seems that way too. the orcs seem a bit clean to be orcs (ive not a clue if they should be or not)

i dig the lighting and atmosphere, and the details on the armor is sweet. good all round piece. very good.

[TENLLADO STUDIO]

Hey, good work, I like the lighting, and the orc's expressions. maybe need o ligth reflected in the shadow areas on sword, metal object in firts plane and the orc right, Really good work I like ambientation, sorry my bad english, regards TenlladoTENLLADO STUDIO (http://www.telefonica.net/web/amtenllado)

[foster]

hey bean, well here is something close to what i was talking to you about. i know it gets rid of the wonderful work you did on the right hand orc but i think this piece needs more spatial dynamics. some wonderful work could be hinted at on the shadow side of the closest orc plus now we do not get too caught up in all of the wonderful detail you put into the setting. i know, i know, the detail was the point, but it was taking away from the overall success of the painting. hope this gives you ideas. there must be a much better way of composing it than the way i came up with but it hits the general idea.

jon

[Loga4]

tegehel
very nice work,congrats.
Foster,good idea!

[tegehel]

thanks all for your nice comments and constructive criticism. Indeed, it was work in progress and there are many problems.

Ok, time for self-criticism: The main and most important problem is that I got caught into details way too early in the process and forgot about the big picture. It happens to me too often and I still have to struggle to remind myself to work from big to small, and make big look good first.

After talking about this piece to Mr. Taco (= foster - I'm Mr Bean now) for a while, I realize through his insights that he was right in suggesting a composition change.

Heck, you all were pretty much right on target.

His idea is more dynamic, more interesting and focuses the viewer more (in my opinion) and although it's going to require quite a bit of rework I think it's worth it.

However, for the time being, since I have a deadline for the San Diego Comicon and want to finish other pieces, I will hack this one sometimes next week to make it look better, but not yet rework it at the greater length it truly requires (unless I have time, a few days before taking off maybe)

I want to thank you all again, and especially Mr. Taco who took the time to actually show me what he was talking about while gulping on chicken Chimichangas w/mild-hot sauce :P

Very helpful, jon, thanks again. Oh yeah, and enjoy the leftovers. Pete and I forgot about them in your car...must be stinky now :p

C.

PS: hmmm, maybe i could reuse the right Orc in another piece, you know, to recycle...

[tegehel]

How about something like that? I still wonder about a few things, such as the general's staff and some background areas...more feedback would be very welcome.

C.

http://www.tegehel.org/graphics/newfolio/web/Veni_Vidi_Vici2_v2.jpg

[deschamps]

Yeah that helps a lot! The pointing arm of the figure in shadow is drawn really nicely. How about having the main character's eyes looking at the figure in shadow. Also, the fist on the main character seems disconnected from his arm. You've got some great lighting and detail going on in this piece. Nice.