Caran-hurok #03 – Harbad and Thoran

[jester]

Here’s another preliminary sketch for my comic project „The Heart of Caran-hûrok“. This is a scene when the main character Thoran remembers himself sitting on the knees of his grandfather Than Harbad being told the story of how Harbad got a special sword from an important Albic leader. I feel that there are some mistakes in this sketch and would be very thankful if anybody could point them out and help me to correct them.

I’ll be off this forum for a few days due to a friend’s wedding but hopefully find some replies to this by Thursday next week.

Jester


http://www.jester.de/gallery/sketch/small-zwerge-05.jpg

[jezelf]

Nice perspective, interesting project. I would say the most immediate thing for me was that the image doesn't project the story as yet. You say that 'Thoran' is sitting on the knees of his grand father, but, Thoran doesn't looks like a child, but a man, sitting on the knee of a giant.

Do you know anyone who has children who could pose for you? the proportions of a child (I'm assuming that Thoran would be about 5 years old) are different to that of a fully grown adult, sometimes there's more 'puppy fat' going on.

additionally, I think to enhance this part of the story you could have them situated in a much more 'homely' setting. - by an open fire in a log cabin, for instance - the warm feel of the setting would underline to love the grandfather would have for his grandson, perhaps even have Thoran's father, other mother, watching with a heart-felt smile on her face? It would probably be better if it were Thoran's father because the you'll see the character in the background smiling - perhpas thinking of when he was 5yrs old sitting on the same knee hearing the same story?

there's a lot you can do to add. If you're drawing a comic (or an illustration for that matter), pulling the reader in to have feeling for your characters is important.

I know this is a sketch than anything final, but the 'camera' angle could add more sympathy to the scene too. try a sketch which is more closer? inviting the reader into this personal, special moment.

also perhaps to further the loving, warm atmosphere, you could change the chair to have legs and have a contently sleeping dog, I dunno - perhaps a great Dane under the chair?

just some suggestions. take them or leave them. hope they help.

Good luck
jez

[TJ Verhagen]

Yeah, i agree with everything above..

also.. the grandfather's face is out of proportions. I dont know it its intended, but to me he looks somewhat like an ape...
the large forehead and the outsticking jaw tell me that.

.. here's a sketchbook sketch I made while on vacation a few months ago...
see the proportions being different between adult and child...

http://home.wanadoo.nl/lwverhagen/img/forumpics/fatherandson.jpg

[jester]

First of all I want to apologize that I did not answer earlier. However, I was very busy after returning from the wedding in England.

jezelf - I know see the proportion problem, too. I know that I'm still struggling with normal human anatomy, which doesn't make it easier to work out dwarf anatomy that really is convincing. As for the "homely" atmosphere and surrounding characters: The story is already written (not by me but someone else). I can and will make a few adjustments and really appreciate your tips.

TJ - thanks for the sketch, this makes things really clear. As for looking like an ape, not that's not intended and reminds me that apart from overall anatomy I have to focus on portraits again.

Thanks!

Birgit