Can you see what I can't?

[Zaknafain]

First time I start a thread in this area...
This painting is really bugging me. Something is wrong but I can't point a finger at it.

I need a fresh eye...

[Meli Hitchcock]

I would say the cranium in the back is too large, too tall and the highlights punched just a bit more. If you find you can't place any possible flaws in work, try mirroring your images. You can spot things quite easily that way.

[ILickSquirrels]

I personally think you need to lighten up the back of the neck (like around the nape area). His neck appears too short and too tapered as it connects to the head, but I think its because the back shadowing just makes it look like shadowing is hair. Maybe even thicken up the top of the neck a bit? In case you don't understand what I mean, I made a (really) quick scribble of what I mean in Paint. The red is just the profile line, and the white on the neck is where i think you might wanna lighten it up to differentiate it from the hair. I also notice that it could just be that the head is tilted too far back to be comfortable, but I can't really tell if its just the neck or a combo of the two. I'm really digging the shading job, by the way. =D

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=34253&stc=1&d=1160513368

[graywood]

I like the form, and it's a beautiful questioning piece.

I can say honestly that I don't understand the technical side of painting, so I'll leave that completely out. however, what about context?

He has an interesting expression, as well as an interesting dark mood set up. What is the story? Is that a flashlight casting the sharp highlights on his chin? I agree with meli on the head, however, it adds a sense of gauntness or starvation to the piece, so i believe that could stay. I ask alot of questions when I look at it, as I think other people do as well. Maybe placing more figure below the neck, or throwing in some background would help.

Just a thought.

(I like it though, borders on the macabre for me. But I have no idea why.)

mic

[Zaknafain]

hey thanks for your replies. I think I know now what to change. I will post the updated version here as well...

[Heat]

Keep the space out in front of him clean. I love the sense of space and those white lines that show gesture detract from it.

The chin hair isn’t wrapping his face around for me maybe exaggerate. ever so slightly

[Waffle_King]

Someone may have said this already, but-- maybe defining the clavicle some more would help give a little more form to that triangle of grey. Just an idea.

Great work, btw.

-Andrew