You shouldn't be here! (updated)

[robrov21]

Hello, here is a little WIP I am currently elbow deep in. It is an illustration for a book. The mood is, you've unexpectantly happened upon Sylvia, who is a creepy girl that has befriended the strange creatures in the forest and now you've seen too much.

A lot isn't rendered, still working on lighting. I am concerned about her hair mostly, and the perspective of the ground and the "table" in the middle of them. She needs to look like she's just spun around.

lemme know what ya think!

[Chender]

I'd think the hair on the left side of her head would be tighter against her head if she had just (quickly) turned around. The perspective on the table is the only thing that really stood out to me as off, though. It looks like she's tipping it towards the viewer.
I think it gets across the feeling of "uh oh! run away!" pretty well. But maybe that's because I read the title. Her expression is pretty dramatic either way, her eyes are screaming "YOU!". It might be nebulous whether she's frightened of you (of having been discovered) or frightened for you (for you having discovered them).
But if it goes along with a narrative that should keep it clear.

[guggemmaneuver]

little girls face looks a little bit mannish... minimize strong jaw line and cheekbones, maybe soften the eye anatomy and you should be golden.

hope this helps... very creepy and cool illustration scene!

j

[robrov21]

Chender: thanks alot, yeah, that hair needs to be redone, thanks for the input. Great point about the meaning of her expression, which be more clear in the book, but she's afraid for you. And yeah, I was afriad that was what was wrong with that table. Thanks!

Guggenmaneuver: thanks alot for your comments, didn't even notice the mannish expression, but you are right, will work on that. As for soften the eye anatomy, I may have a little trouble with that, because as a character, her eyes look like that in my original sketch. I may have to redesign if it comes off badly.

Thanks for all the compliments as well!

[robrov21]

Here is a little update. Took in consideration the comments. Her hair is more indicative of turning her head in shock. I changed the table into a...er..a..root thing, so the table perspective thing isn't even an issue now. I've started to add color also. Still haven't worked out a lot of the lighting, chipping away at it. I'm sort of all over the place, lol.

Anyhoo, thanks for looking.

Just asking for any comments on perspective, lighting, etc.

[Chender]

Her hair falling over (or that was) her left shoulder looks good, but the motion is pretty strong in the hair on the right side of her part. I liked how it covered her eye, gave her soart of that feminine mystique (and the general mysteriousness of the scene). Color seems nice and natural. The lighting seems strong, though (at least at the bottom on those roots).
The perspective on the table/root thing looks good. I can't tell if her hand is touching it or not, though. It looks like it should be, but there's not shadow from her being cast on it.