Curse of the Mummy

[GhostofMacbeth]

http://www.glenosterberger.com/images/Mummy320.jpg

Finally decided to put a piece of art up here. Have been working on a few things but can't show them yet so here is a piece from last year's try-for-work extravaganzaa. Let me know what you think. Hope this works.
Glen

[endregan]

really nicely painted :D

[LeeSmith]

cool work, I love the color scheme, you definitely captured that egyption feel there. Something does seem off about hi open hand though, probably the fact that only 3 fingers are visible. Also his pants seem very flat, could benefit from some tight wrinkles in the stress points.

nice work though, great texture.

[GhostofMacbeth]

Thanks both of you. The hand has the other finger at the full size but kinda dies here. Should probaly add a few wrinkles in there but they always seemed to have super starched pants back then which is what I was kinda going for. Will look at adding some in there. Thanks for the crits. Anyone else? :)

[Elwell]

The painting technique looks pretty good, but it is covering up a host of fundemental flaws in concept and (especially) composition.

The way the mummy is placed relative to the column behind him is very uncomfortable. you have too many tangents going on and it makes the spacial relationship unclear. Also, the way the shape of it's left leg flows into the foreground character's arm is distracting.

The light sources aren't consistent. The cool rim light on the figure is much too strong, and there's no indication of where it is coming from, since it doesn't seem to effect the background at all.

The anatomy of his entire lower body is unconvincing. Also, his pose doesn't make narrative sense. What exactly is he doing, and why? And where exactly is the mummy coming from?

[GhostofMacbeth]

Thanks for the feedback. To me the pose makes narrative sense but I guess it isn't totally laid out. The cool light could easily come from a place off camera and between the figure and the background plus it is a pulp standard, which is what I was going for. if you could help with the lower body I would appreciate it but it seems pretty corect to me given the flaired pants of the day etc. Not saying it is totally perfect but looks mostly correct to me.

[Elwell]

Originally posted by GhostofMacbeth
Thanks for the feedback. To me the pose makes narrative sense but I guess it isn't totally laid out.
What exactly is he supposed to be doing? What was he doing just before this moment, and what's going to happen next? How does this character relate to all the other characters, props, etc in the scene? These are the sorts of questions you have to ask and answer for yourself when doing this sort of narrative picture if it's going to read clearly to an audience.The cool light could easily come from a place off camera and between the figure and the background plus it is a pulp standard, which is what I was going for. OK, where? Is it a window? Unlikely, since I assume this is supposed to take place in some sort of tomb. Is it a mysterious glow coming from some sort of magic object? Then that's an important part of the story, and we should probably see it. Even if it's nothing more than an undefined second light source, if it has that much effect on the foreground figure its going to effect the background too. if you could help with the lower body I would appreciate it but it seems pretty corect to me given the flaired pants of the day etc. Not saying it is totally perfect but looks mostly correct to me. It doesn't look to me like there is any understanding of the way the lower legs relate to the rest of the body. The feet, especially the one on the right, aren't handled well. The entire area is over simplified. I'd be interested to see what reference you used for the figure. Try getting into this exact position yourself. Be aware of where the parts of your body are in relation to each other. Is it comfortable? How easy is it to get in and out of? Under what circumstances would you be in this pose? Again, if you don't have a clear answer to questions like this during the creation of the picture it's going to come through in the finished result.

[GhostofMacbeth]

Basically he is turning after hearing the mummy, he was kneeling in the process of being dr. jones for lack of a better term. All of these questions were answered when I was doing the piece.

The light is a device used in Pulp covers, of which this is an homage to, The Rosens used it, Baumhoffer used it and so many others did. I am not saying I am them but it is a concvention used throughout pulp covers. And it doesn't necessariy have to affect the background figures. I see light all the time that hits one and not another figure that is a good bit back from them. Lets just say its an artifact. Not everything has to be explained in a piece.

The legs are very understood. Please show me with a paint over what is so wrong. Kneeling on one knee (while twisting) with a set of baggy, startched adventurer pants will show you that. Perhaps not exactly but I used myself in a mirror among other things. The right foot is sole up. I am not meaning to say it is perfect but I did sit in that position for a long time and to have you say it is bs when it really isn't just kinda bugs me. I saw your work and you have well done pieces that are obvously referenced and researched out the ying yang but they are different than what I am doing. Like I said though, I would welcome a paint over so I can get a better understanding of what is wrong since I "don't have any understanding of how the lower body relates." Thanks

[DustinTrimble]

I agree with Elwell, and here is why,

http://www.geocities.com/xstin2000/critmummy1.jpg

1. your pelvis is rolled up and the leg is curving down, thus it looks odd, and uncentered. There is no power to get up. I think it is pretty sound as being possible, but looks uncomfortable.

2. this is my take on making it more believable with the least amount of repainting, definitly not the only way to fix it. A better way I think you could push the forward knee under the crotch putting the weight there, and using it to kinda show the dynamic of his twisting around. Sit and try it, it would be a completely new drawing that way though. I think that it would show the story a little better.

3. Here is what we kinda expect to see from the years of spiderman comics and such, not particularly right or wrong, but more believable.

Also I think the lack of folds in the pants bothers me, particularly because you did such a great job on the shirt. The guys face is great, and so is the mummy.

It is a successful painting, and has a lot of appeal.

[GhostofMacbeth]

Thanks for the feedback and paint over. I think the phrasing was what getting me more than anything. The No. 3 Marvel redraw is a more crouch in the moment kind of thing and something I can only hold for a short period of time, I was trying to anchor it more to show that he didn't just squat.
The position he is in was "rising from a looking at something for a while position" to me. Just the way I would physically do it. There isn't a lot of power to get up and you sorta have to roll but that is just what I do. It wasnt meant to be a power move since I kind of try to work with slightly odd moments at times. Sometimes it just doesn't work. I was planning on possibly putting in more wrinkles to make it look more correct to the viewer. I will look into tweaking it and thanks again.