Portrait

[Benedikt]

Wotcher People,
I've been working on this portrait for some time now.
It's far from being finished, but I thought I'd throw it in here and see if I can get any suggestions and hints that I did not think of yet.
'tis the progress so far;
http://poli.oppono.de/x1.jpg
http://poli.oppono.de/x2.jpg
http://poli.oppono.de/x3.jpg
http://poli.oppono.de/x4.jpg
I'm going to add more depth with slightly darker tones and a bit of white to make the form "pop" a bit. The piano (I hope it's recognizable) will receive some further attention, too, as well as the details (hair, eyes etc.). I'm also thinking about adding a dark shading as a background, but that'll be the last step anyway.

Any suggestions, hints, critiques?
Thanks and bye,
Ben

[JAG.]

it looks good, but something about her neck [or adam's apple actually] looks off. i think her jaw line and shoulders need a bit more definition. good work - JAG

[Alyssa]

I agree Jag. The adams apple is too big. It's supposed to be a female, right? :)

[Benedikt]

Thanks for the advice!

Here we go;
http://poli.oppono.de/x5.jpg
I fixed the adams apple and put in more detail and depht (with lighter and darker tones). I'll go further into the details and finish the piano. But apart from that (and perhaps a shading in the background) the picture's nearly finished.

D'you reckon this (once finished) is good enough for the Finally Finished section? I'm never quite sure whether to put any of my artwork in here anyway, due to the amazingly high talent that can be found at CA :/

Thnks again, bye!
Ben

[JAG.]

ok i notice a few things:

1. her ear is kinda far back.. move it closer toward her face a bit.
2. where her neck meets her head, seems wider than the base at the shoulders.
3. and her right shoulder still needs some more definition.

- JAG

[Sepulverture]

You also still need to make that adams apple much smaller, or at least much less defined.

[Benedikt]

http://poli.oppono.de/x6.jpg
I ended up lightning the hole lower area of her body to make that adams apple thingy disappear. I moved the hair closer to the eye, adjusted the ear,extended her neck/her shoulders and worked on the hair a bit.
Wht d'you think?

[lobosdesigns]

Well I'm just a tattoo artist and my advice is not worth the lint in your pocket...Why I am opening my mouth is just foolishness....but here goes suicide.


it still looks like she has a adams apple,
If you look at the 2 spots here, in #1 the shding here makes it look rounded and potruting, and the spacing here in the shading of 2 makes it look even more outset.....Just a perspective the trap shading does here.

http://lobosdesigns.com/x6.jpg

[JAG.]

maybe this will help:

http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/421/x6fixlp0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

the way the neck is now.. makes the shoulders wrong. but if you leave the shoulders as they are, then the neck is wrong. and a few guide-lines for the face should make it more accurate. - JAG

[Benedikt]

@lobos thanks, I'll try to work on that, maybe I can reduce it a bit (though the apple is quite evident on my ref)
@JAG
The face is accurate as it is, I'm sorry, it's damn close to the ref. I guess the ear is in such a lowered position because the head is tilted backwards.
As to the the problem with the throat/neck- I get that, you're right. Looks as if her left shoulder is kind of sloping down, I'll correct that, thanks!

/edit;
Just a quick overpaint, did I get the idea right?
http://poli.oppono.de/xca.jpg
Her shoulders look fine to me now, but that's just me.
/edit2;
On second thoght, no, they don't. Jesus, that's buggin me now :/
I'll have a look at it tomorrow. Can't see the mistake right now :(

[lobosdesigns]

bam!!!! looking better already

[Benedikt]

Thnks for the kind words, but I rather get the impression that she has a hump now :/
Anyway, as I said, I'll revise it tomorrow. If someone would be so kind and tell me how to make that hump disappear (I wont alter the position of the shoulder as you said it looks better now^^), that would really be great.
Bye then.

[JAG.]

much better indeed, and if thats how it is in the ref, then thats how it is.. no sweat. it'd be grea if you posted the ref as well so we could all take a look at it.

i too notice the hump, but that can be easily taken care of.. - JAG

[Benedikt]

Thanks again for the advice and the overpaint! Couldn't have figured that out without you guys.
So, here weg go;
http://poli.oppono.de/x7.jpg
I've worked on the ear, the eyes and the mouth, corrected (gave my best) the shoulders/the neck/the hump, added detail to the hair, tried to make her arms pop out a bit with the shading and corrected that dark shadow on her right shoulder that flattened the whole area.
What d'you say?

[StealthNachos]

The changes made to this seems so minor, but it really did make a difference in the most recent piece. I really like it. Are you going to do a background as well?

[Benedikt]

I actually changed the right eye a lot in the last 15 minutes. Was terribly off before. Strange I (and alongside me all of you ;) ) did not notice.
Thanks anyway, I'm very happy about how this turned out with your help.

As to the Background; aye, I was wondering about that. I find that whenever I put a darker shading in the bg behind her head, it starts to look terribly flat. So I'll either have to work out why that is or think of another kind of bg.
I was actually thinking about a dark, textured "bar" that passes behind her head, to draw a bit more attention to it. Catch my drift?

[Benedikt]

People, I've just gone mad.
http://poli.oppono.de/x8.jpg
Jesus, this is goin to take time^^
Anything you notice so far?

edit/
here we go;
http://poli.oppono.de/x10b.jpg

[JAG.]

well, ill say your rendering is superb, but i have a nit pick.. which comes down to taste. she has practically no curvature in her back.. which means shes a hunch back or has no ass ;) and her right arm is positioned kinda funny. thats all i notice right away. but being rendered and all, i can live with it. great work - JAG

[Benedikt]

Thanks JAG. As to the lack of curvature- that's what's on me ref. And knowing the girl personally, I can assure you that she has neither a hump nor no ass. I don't know what causes this, maybe this particular position, but that's just how it is. I find that when I add a curvature, the likeness suffers greatly. The physique then doesn't match her's at all. I'll leave it out, if you don't mind ;)

Here comes an update;
http://poli.oppono.de/x11.jpg
Worked on some perspective issues, the piano and the stool.
I wonder how far I should go with the details. I defintely don't want to take the focus away from the upper half of her body... We'll see^^
Bye then, and thnks again for the input!

[Benedikt]

People, this has just reached almost final status ;)
http://poli.oppono.de/x12.jpg
A bit of touching-up and cleaning and then... unless any of you have any objections ;) i'd say... yes... it's finished (I'm almost afraid of that moment^^)
Bye.

[JAG.]

heh.. id have to say: yes.. its finished. well done - JAG