Charachter WIP: spider sniper

[BONKANAILIOS]

working on my coloring and shading because I have somehow managed to avoid it this long.

This is a design for a sniper unit that has sort of a... robot spider backpack that allows them to snipe or observe targets from the sides of buildings.
here are my lines:
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c226/zeebashiv/spiderunitlinework.jpg

here is what happens when I try and add color or shading:
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c226/zeebashiv/spiderunit.jpg



Please PLEASE bash the heck out of this piece. I want it to look good, and you cant build somthing up without destroying it first.

[sone_one]

i cant read it ... means i got no clue at all what that actually is or how it would work.

[Mokuu]

Its too dark, there isnt any contrast between the shapes so the piece is too uniform. And as for the sketch, i cant figure it out at all, maybe adding some planes or making the shapes a bit more obvious might help but until then its very confusing. I hope this helps.

[BONKANAILIOS]

please be patient, I am making a diagram of whats going on right now
it is kind of a complicated idea.... but I want to be able to get it down on paper in an illustration.
(ie:not a diagram)

[Carnifex]

first of all,you can't even tell what it looks like with just the lines,so how the hell do you think we should see it in colour?
sorry to be so harsh,but it reads just as a bunch of lines slapped together.

[BONKANAILIOS]

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c226/zeebashiv/spiderharness.jpg

[BONKANAILIOS]

I think this is a clearer read
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c226/zeebashiv/spider03.jpg

[airrunkle]

Totally agree with Mokuu, there needs to be more contrast. In the colored one the sniper and the spider seem to blend together so much that you cant tell where one stops and the other begins. It also apears that you jumped into detail too fast in the rendering process. This kinda throws off the whole piece and makes it frustrating to look at. Thats all i can say with my current experience... hope this helps a bit

[Jason Rainville]

The fact that you have to draw us a diagram is not good. I suggest moving this to the Sketches/WIP section and reworking this a bit, since the only things I can make out in the painting is a head, part of a spider, and a huge long form on the left side of the characters body....

[BONKANAILIOS]

ok, so the latest version isnt even being looked at, at all.
The fact that I have to draw a diagram means that I am not sure how to convey the idea accurately in a picture. Which honestly I didnt know until you guys told me. I would like this to get moved to the WIP thread so i can rework it and hopefully bring it back here.

[voraz]

I think the same, plan the drawing better. Make clear lines and only then move to colour, it will be much easier for you.
Fil

[Ilaekae]

Bonka', when you can't identify the doorknob to the bathroom yourself, how you gonna keep other people from crappin' in the hallway?

If YOU aren't sure--and you drew it--you have to rethink it. Hoping something will make sense doesn't make it so...

I have a little problem conceptually with the spider and the way it's used. I like the idea of being able to attach to places above eye-level where it's safer, but...the spider add-on is so large as a back attachment that it leaves the sniper hanging out in mid air totally exposed. After the first shot, he's a cheese and jello sandwich.

Is there anyway you can re-adapt the "spider" into a less spherical and more body-hugging thing that would possibly envelope the sniper a bit more around the torso area and move him closer to the wall?

[BONKANAILIOS]

thank you so much for all the input guys, I am trying to improve it as we speak.

[BONKANAILIOS]

also in reply to the obvious problems about our hero being a sitting duck after the first shot is fired off. I was thinking that instead of chainging the device, why not change the application. If it is used for ambushes, a team of these guys with SMG's could absolutely demolish a group of unsuspecting targets.

**also mods, thank you for moving this thread :)**

[BONKANAILIOS]

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c226/zeebashiv/spider05.jpg
I hope this is a step in the right direction

[BONKANAILIOS]

I got halfway through this before anyone said anything about laying out my values FIRST, so thats why its in this condition. i have been staring at this beast for awhile so I hope its improving. If I seem a little incoherent, let me just say that summer hit today and I live in an attic. a poorly ventilated one at that.
do you guys think I should scrap the colors and lay out the values first this time?

Edit:whoopsy, those werent meant to be seperate posts... oh well.

[Jason Rainville]

I must say it's reading a lot better so far, except for his elbow; either it's horribly deformed or it's blending in too much with his side/back.

[BONKANAILIOS]

lol, thanks for the fresh eye ill fix that elbow right away!

[BONKANAILIOS]

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c226/zeebashiv/spider06.jpg
updated the shoulder and started blocking out the lighting

[sone_one]

its better now ... but i agree with ilaekae 100% about that sitting duck thing... yes it is about eyelevel which COULD be an advantage... but most likely will be spotted from miles away considering the size it is... and the lack of camouflage..

thats all related to concept rather than execution, cause i think if the concept doenst work not the best rednering ever would save it.

[BONKANAILIOS]

LOL yeah, I will see what I can do in the way of camo, but honestly right now I want to just render the picture, because camo=hard to read.... because thats its purpose.

but a reskin would be a possiblilty, also I was thinking of making it so that there is cable inside the-
(this will take awhile to explain and there is a HUGE storm coming, so I am going to try and save my computer from getting fried)
please please continue with the input it has gotten me so much farther than I ever would have alone.

[sone_one]

i appreciate your effort... but seriously... you shouldnt have to explain, draw charts and whatever... at least not after you started on the final illustration.

id go back, trying to figure out sillhuettes, what features it needs to have and how those could be shown in design... etc etc

do some thumbnails man.

[BONKANAILIOS]

I meant for a future drawing thespacebaronthiscomputerisbroken...

[Snuggles]

Design wise, gotta point out I like the first design, though it barely reads, better. Snapping Rambo onto this solidly colored and plain-designed spider bot seems very added on and the two seem entirely unrelated.

[BONKANAILIOS]

the first one has been given up on
entirely, I will start over with some thumbnails and start a new topic.

[Stupidity'sUglyHead]

That guy is cool. All he needs is a more dynamic composition (ie not running into the edge of the picture)