Floatsy the Clown. [first post]

[sourgasm]

ello. i realized this layout just isn't shaping up quite right. i'm a bit too new at this whole 'drawing with anything other than a bic pen or random pencil' thing. so i thought i'd head over and see if you guys can help out. here it be:

http://www.sour.org/senryu/senryu.jpg


in addition to those things that i haven't caught yet, here are some possible problems that i'm not entirely sure how to fix:

1) banner/picture frame. looks wonky. off color. just.. weird.

2) water. never really tried it in this manner before. mainly, color. i've got an ok start, but i'm having trouble improving it. i don't want to lose the "fake" feel the painting has- not going for photo realistic at all.

3) overall colors. i'm not really on the up and up with color theory, so i can't quite figure out why it's not entirely cohesive.


oh, and the white slob over to the left will eventually display the current section. looks funny right now.

anyway. thanks and im glad to finally come out of the lurking ethers of trollerdom. definitely good stuff here.

[DSillustration]

you've got some good stuff going on here.
i think you need to decide what your focus is, and emphasize that.
if it insn't important, dont bring attention to it.

here are a few thoughts to get you going:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v704/DSillustration/senryu_redo.jpg

[sourgasm]

thanks!

i'd been going over different ways to accent various elements of the painting, but never quite pinned them down. this definitely gave me some things to think about.

i'll repost after i give it a good workover.