Environment critique needed

[jubjubjedi]

updated 4/19:

http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/7693/environmentlayers3darkersmall3.jpg

[Mitze]

Very nice but there dose seem to be a total separation from the character and the enviroment. Maybe get rid of the blue and let the floor show throught the railings.

[jubjubjedi]

Honestly, for now until you get better at figures/characters I would take the time to actually remove the character, and put a little extra time into the Environment itself and it would be 10 times stronger. The characters face is bringing the whole piece down at the moment.

The reflective floor is great..so are the overall colors and design. Honestly, just get rid of the character in the foreground, blacken/darken out that space so the white table square and red drink glass isnt there, maybe add a hint of more mechanical bronze design going on in there instead and you'll have yourself a nice environment.

Thanks for the suggestions! Is it the character design, or the way her face comes off in the picture? Or is it the entire foreground? I thought I did a decent face, but maybe I need to soften the shadows or something... Otherwise, I might just remove the entire foreground area.

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/7702/face1us.jpg

[jubjubjedi]

Very nice but there dose seem to be a total separation from the character and the enviroment. Maybe get rid of the blue and let the floor show throught the railings.

That's actually what I had in mind previously, but since the floor reflection was an afterthought, It would have required me having to design the uppermost areas of the structure, because that's what would be reflected on the floor as it got closer to the foreground. Yeah, it sounds like I'm being lazy, but this is actually what I had in mind all along, a sort off cafe scene of sorts. Is it the color choice for the foreground elements? I wanted something to really stand apart from the midground, which Is why I chose that color (something, honestly, I am not that good at understanding).

[jubjubjedi]

I revised the foreground, warming it up and making it feel more like the midground a bit more, as well as messing with the girl's face so it's more readable when zoomed-out... does this help any?

[jubjubjedi]

Added an alternate version with some more detail...

[purb36]

hey dude.
a character within an environment sets a scene; it is a story being told. so automatically she becomes the focus. when i first saw the picture, i thought it was a really good environment and i wanted to see it all, but then when i scrolled and saw the figure, i only want to look at the figure. i think compositionally, her position in the picture lead me to the bottom right corner, and then the shadowy side of her cuts off the viewer off from the rest of the picture. thats what it felt like to me when i saw it at first. its a cafe scene; why is she all alone? what's the story, or emotion you're trying to convey?
i think her face and body don't have as much depth as they could, which hurts the piece. her neck is too thick (back to front). maybe better lighting on her and bring out her anatomic features a little bit more (for example, back muscles, but only slightly). make her look more life-like, more 3d, more as if she's actually in the environment. your lighting is good on the environment, i think if you changed the lighting on her, it would make it better. thats my 2 yen; g'luck. :cheerleader:

[Devlyn]

I've never actually critted anything before, and don't know if I would qualify, but I need to say I really like the architecture. I think if you put a little more detail in some of the middle ground sturctures, I could stare at this for hours and always find something new to look at.

2 things kinda jump out at me:

1- The triangular tressle structure holding up the pipe - the atmospheric perspective toward the bottom sets the bases of the structures in the distant middle ground/near background - but the tops of them are much clearer - I can't tell really how far away they are and the tops kinda push themselved out of the image like the escher hands drawing hands picture.

2- Until I read the postings, I though the reflective surface was a window sill, albiet a large one. You might consider throwing some folks walking on it to show the scale.

Maybe you already addressed these - I can't see the last couple posts though...

[jubjubjedi]

hey dude.
a character within an environment sets a scene; it is a story being told. so automatically she becomes the focus. when i first saw the picture, i thought it was a really good environment and i wanted to see it all, but then when i scrolled and saw the figure, i only want to look at the figure. i think compositionally, her position in the picture lead me to the bottom right corner, and then the shadowy side of her cuts off the viewer off from the rest of the picture. thats what it felt like to me when i saw it at first. its a cafe scene; why is she all alone? what's the story, or emotion you're trying to convey?
i think her face and body don't have as much depth as they could, which hurts the piece. her neck is too thick (back to front). maybe better lighting on her and bring out her anatomic features a little bit more (for example, back muscles, but only slightly). make her look more life-like, more 3d, more as if she's actually in the environment. your lighting is good on the environment, i think if you changed the lighting on her, it would make it better. thats my 2 yen; g'luck. :cheerleader:

Hey, thanks for the comments. In regard to it being a cafe scene, the intention was to create the illusion that it was actually the viewer that was entering the space and that she is waiting for the viewer... she is turning towards the viewer in expectation. I guess you caught on to the dichotomy I was intentionally trying to create (wether successful or not), that the woman, as well as the background, are both fighting for the viewer's eye. It's sorta like an encouraging blind date in a new, totally foreign place, both equally breathtaking. It's a play on temptations, also symbolized by the bright orange glass next to the woman, as well as the large structure in the background built in the image of a man. The 2 point perspective suggests 2 ways in which your thoughts/intentions/desires can go. To the left is power, to the right is something more demure (woman, water in the background, wine glass). Or it could just be an interesting scene.
I'll see what I can do about "fleshing" her out, I guess I need to throw in more highlights and core shadows to create a sense or roundness to her body even more.

[jubjubjedi]

I've never actually critted anything before, and don't know if I would qualify, but I need to say I really like the architecture. I think if you put a little more detail in some of the middle ground sturctures, I could stare at this for hours and always find something new to look at.

2 things kinda jump out at me:

1- The triangular tressle structure holding up the pipe - the atmospheric perspective toward the bottom sets the bases of the structures in the distant middle ground/near background - but the tops of them are much clearer - I can't tell really how far away they are and the tops kinda push themselved out of the image like the escher hands drawing hands picture.

2- Until I read the postings, I though the reflective surface was a window sill, albiet a large one. You might consider throwing some folks walking on it to show the scale.

Maybe you already addressed these - I can't see the last couple posts though...

Thanks for the comments! I see what you mean... I need more atmospheric perspective on the tops of those towers. I've been trying to figure out wether or not I wanted the scene to be more populated, to tell you the truth...

[jubjubjedi]

updated in regard to some of the comments...

[Sept13]

Besides the human figure, I think the picture in whole is quite sterile. You should but some more texture into those walls and metals, and the huge background elements could use a haze of atmosphere to push it back a little. I think the strong grey pops out too much there and takes too much attention from the middleground.

[Pixeldragoon]

Didnt read through the other comments, but something of note; The foreground rail looks very flat to me, the little bronzey things on the top should be lit a bit more strongly, it keeps the picture consistent and 3 dimensional.

Good luck