Storyboard: Battery commercial

[johnny78]

Another spec storyboard. This time it´s for a battery that lasts even after mankind is no more. The last board didn´t come out well. It should show a PAN from a power socket to the lamp that is still on and finally end on the battery at the bottom of the base of the lamp.

I´d appreciate some crits.
Does it come over well, are there any things that I could do better next time, or are you totally confused when you look at it?

Thanks

http://www.anticontent.com/2004_eng/pics/storyboard_battery_gr_01_klein.jpg
http://www.anticontent.com/2004_eng/pics/storyboard_battery_gr_03_klein.jpg
http://www.anticontent.com/2004_eng/pics/storyboard_battery_gr_05_klein.jpg
http://www.anticontent.com/2004_eng/pics/storyboard_battery_gr_06_klein.jpg

[tgfx]

Hey Johnny love your storyboards man. Very nice details.

[Nokill]

looks good but maby the buidlings could be some more rubished at least thats my idear of the end of human kind

[sve]

Hello, johnny78. These images are very beautiful. I recognised all the objects, but not right away, they are blended very well in to the BG. Sometimes it seems for me that scene overloaded with objects and details, but it doesn't create any negative feeling for me. I looked with a big interest and enjoyed this free elegant manner. I wouldn't change the image, but the one thing that came to my mind repeatedly is they (the images) look very soft, very soothing, and I wish it was more roughness somehow in the picture, some sharper, pricklier lines and dots, you know. Still it's just my personal preferences sot please disregard them.
My favorite are the second page and the last three. Especially the last one, The round line you started in the left corner of the room is brings the whole composition together the same as those construction lines somehow, they apparently create one more front objects and wonderfully add the deepness to the image.
Sveta

[Nobie]

Well my crits are to keep it clean and simple, dont get carried away, it should read fast and clear, if these are directors boards keep it loose but focused
I find it hard to find the center of attention, things far off in the distance should not compete with forground details. Thats my 2 cents. keep at it!!!

[johnny78]

tgfx : Thank you, tgfx, I´m glad you like it :D

Nokill : I guess, you´re right. I also enjoy more the decaying and destroyed look. But I´m trying to tone down as the last creative director I worked with always said that I should try to make not so darkish pics as they have to meet the taste of an average person..(whatever that might be :)

sve : maybe it´s so soft because it´s watercolored. And I love working wet in wet. But I was thinking about making a storyboard with a little bit different rendering style.

Nobie : Thanks for the crits. I´ll try to consider it in the next storyboards. I already had the feeling that they could be a bit overloaded.