The Raelian Movement

[Raelian1]

HUMAN SCIENTISTS FROM ANOTHER PLANET CREATED ALL LIFE ON EARTH USING DNA.

Traces of this epic masterpiece of creation can be found in all religious writings and traditions.
It is to them that Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed referred. It is now time to welcome them.


WHAT HAPPENED?

On the 13th of December 1973, French journalist Rael was contacted by a visitor from another planet, and asked to establish an Embassy to welcome these people back to Earth.

The extra-terrestrial human being was a little over four feet tall, had long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin, and exuded harmony and humor. Rael recently described him by saying quite simply, "If he were to walk down a street in Japan, he would not even be noticed." In other words, they look like us, and we look like them. In fact, we were created "in their image" as explained in the Bible.

He told Rael that:

"We were the ones who designed all life on earth"
"You mistook us for gods"
"We were at the origin of your main religions"
"Now that you are mature enough to understand this,we would like to enter official contact through an embassy"

THE MESSAGES

The messages dictated to Rael explain that life on Earth is not the result of random evolution, nor the work of a supernatural 'God'. It is a deliberate creation, using DNA, by a scientifically advanced people who made human beings literally "in their image" -- what one can call "scientific creationism." References to these scientists and their work, as well as to their symbol of infinity, can be found in the ancient texts of many cultures. For example, in Genesis, the Biblical account of Creation, the word "Elohim" has been mistranslated as the singular word "God", but it is actually a plural word which means "those who came from the sky", and the singular is "Eloha" (also known as "Allah"). Indigenous cultures all over the world remember these "gods" who came from the sky, including natives of Africa (Dogon, Twa, etc.), America, Asia, Australia, and Europe.

Leaving our humanity to progress by itself, the Elohim nevertheless maintained contact with us via prophets including Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, etc., all specially chosen and educated by them. The role of the prophets was to progressively educate humanity through the Messages they taught, each adapted to the culture and level of understanding at the time. They were also to leave traces of the Elohim so that we would be able to recognize them as our Creators and fellow human beings when we had advanced enough scientifically to understand them. Jesus, whose father was an Eloha, was given the task of spreading these messages throughout the world in preparation for this crucial time in which we are now privileged to live: the predicted Age Of Revelation.

And most important of all, read the book, "Intelligent Design - Message from the Designers" the book which will revolutionize your thinking, transform your life and which is already changing the world.

For more information visit http://www.rael.org and discover the truth about our origins.

[thistly]

hehehehahahehahaheeeee
That leader woman you guys had who was doing all the PR when you claimed to have cloned people looked like a SHARK!

[romance]

Ronald McDonald is actually God. Now shut the hell up and get out of my house.

[Elwell]

So, how's that whole cloning thing working out? Anymore Spectacular Successes to report?

[Zebz]

They sent all of those "prophets". Well than they fucked up! They must've gotten the information wrong for each prophet because they said a lot of different shit! And we've been killing eachother for hundreds of years over it! Please send this message back to your leader. Something obviously must be done about these mistakes!

[Mort]

i heard alot of diffrent storys. this is diffrent. i heard another simular story, that there where 2 races of aliens who crashed on earth. after a great space battle for some reason. then they established them selfs as gods. and by telepathy they told sertain humans stuff and made the humans whorship them and whatnot. then they included the term sheep and the clean super human. infact that is just what they do becouse earth is a farm and they want pure meat and blood. also try to kill the fighting spirit and will of man and then they gonna come back and eat all humans. or whas that a movie?
something like the grey aliens invented christianity and the lizard aliens invented the more brutal sacrifice religions. and they are enemies. but when the christianity took over the lizards who had a thing for sadism and stuff began to coowork with the grey and became the demons. so they could do their thing and more ppl whould beleive or something.and then the grey had to feed the lizards who must drink blood and eat meat with humans and whatnot. but soon the two races will collide in a big war on who shall rule the earth. humans not included.

some dude also said that the word YHVH prenounced jehova. is infact just a computor program called AI.va. and that the earth is just a program and in reality the earth looks diffrent. very matrix.

be cool to change ideas man.

you seem to have a more scientist approach to this. beeing that dna is so 90`s and very future. man i heard so many diffrent storys. but the humans seem to like christianity most and some other religions.

good luck thou. hehe i really like this sort of stuff. but not many new cults are just nonprofit. yours seem to be a money hungry cult. trying to sell you books and stuff. i think im gonna start a cult someday too.

what you really should do is to fly down to middleeast and start to preach about this stuff. that whould be intresting.

[Xpose]

No shit Zebz! If these "beings" come to this embassy then sure I'll believe it and inquire more about it all but as it stands I think it's just someone taking advantage of people. Tell ya what if they come visit me tonight I'll smoke a cig with them and we can talk this all out. I think everyone has a right to believe what they want but you can't just believe in anything that just comes along offering such out of reach prizes(can't think of a better word for it ATM).

[Zebz]

A friend of mine minored in Greek and Hebrew and he was telling me that the world Jehova is actually a mistranslation of the actual texts. Something like the Jews didn't want to use God's name in vain because of the commandment (Yaweh, tho they're not sure because they're missing a letter or something) so instead they used the word adonai (SP?) which instead means like Lord of the manor or something to that extent. So in later texts we see the scribes using the Hebrew word Yaweh but the vowel symbols above it for adonai, and when you say the word this way, with the vowel signs above it, it sounds like Jehova. And presto. Jehova wasn't ever a real word in the first place but a mistake/made up word that's taken on meaning over time. If that's true I believe it defuncts an entire religious circle of witnesses. Hmm. Something to chew on.

BTW, I was responding to Mort....

Xpose... glad we agree. ;)

[Mort]

wasnt my idea in the first place thou. hehe.
tell you what if he shows the aliens then i maybe look in the book .
otherwise its just a lost manuscript for a b movie.

[darth massacre]

Someone shoot me. No wait...someone shoot that idiot instead.

Fucking spammer.

[Blue]

I just went to the site.


all i have to say is... lol

[WildSpruceMoose]

Drink The Fucking Kool Aid, Please.

[Phaethon]

*Beep beep beep beep-beep boop beep beep boop boop bop beep beep*

Ok I just talked to God and he says this guy is right. If you guys all put on tin foil helmets you can talk to him too!

[VirusArtist]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... wow... i feel so much more informed now... guess I should start a cult or religion too... something involving tabledancers, alcohol, junk food b-movies and good music...

kinda like:

"melinda is our god.. praise melinda for she is divine in every way...

praise melinda, mother of all beautiful tabledancers for she created the longdrink...

drink from this whisky cola, for it is her blood...

eat from this junkfood for it is her flesh...

date that beautiful halfnaked tabledancer for she is the impersonation of melinda created from melinda's image...

meditate to 'Killer Klowns from Outter Space' for it is melinda's will for you to reach pure happyness...

chant and listen to your favorite bands for melinda is always listening."

and the 10 commandments would be:

"1. thou shalt not refuse a longdrink
2. thou shalt not refuse the chance to date beautiful tabledancers
3. thou shalt play cool videogames
4. thou shalt not descriminate b-movies
5. thou shalt not refuse junkfood
6. thou shalt get hammered beyond belief every weekend
7. thou shalt make up 2 more commandments on your own
8. >see commandment No.7<
9. >see commandment No.7<
10. thou shalt enjoy life to the fullest, following the fist 9 commandments."

a new religion is born.... I shall call it "MELINDAISM"...

damn.. I feel so prophetic (issat a word? sorry for my english ;) )right now...

cheers and PRAISE MELINDA!!

Etienne

[Kresh]

this is so funny, i remember watching this special about this nut a couple years ago.

An embassy you say? U meant to say a bank right?

haha u gotta watch these videos

[MoP]

Meditate to 'Killer Klowns from Outer Space' for it is Melinda's will for you to reach pure happiness...

Haha, that's actually a really funny movie. I'm still not sure whether it was meant to be as funny as it is... but with a lead character called Mike Tobacco and alien clowns killing people with custard pies that melt their flesh away, it's hard not to laugh!

[Kresh]

lol i loved that movie.

[ILickSquirrels]

So...The alien/extraterrestrial/ambassador-for-the-creators-of-the-human-race looks exactly like us? So how do we know that he wasn't just, well, a crackwhore prophet? I see those guys all around big cities, on the streetcorner, saying the end of the world is near and what-not, ya know. I mean, you sure that Rael guy isn't just one gullible mofo, or on one helluvabig episode of Punk'd? I can just see Ashton Kutcher running up, and yelling, "Aw man, dude, you are soooo punk'd! You shoulda seen your face! God - I mean "Alien" - what's with the crazy outfits?!"

[Silvertone]

I heard Raelian chicks are easy. Can you confirm???

[thebluepuppy]

free kool-aid anyone?

[Zebz]

Silvertone! Are you serious?! Swweeeet! I'm getting laid! lol

[Xpose]

*spikes kool-aid* awww that's better. Hit me bluepuppy!

[Mort]

seems like another middle age man who tries to get good looking chicks into his sect and then have fun with them. but i must admit that i havent heard this one before.

we should start a CA sect or something. and then send him emails that he must convert to us.
we can use the VirusArtist`s commandments .
and if he convert he should bring all the chicks with him.

why dont the aliens take contact with someone in power instead of an french balding journalist? that whould be so much easier for an intelligent breed one whould think.

[dfacto]

why dont the aliens take contact with someone in power instead of an french balding journalist? that whould be so much easier for an intelligent breed one whould think.

*Shakes magic 8-ball*

"It's all bullshit"


You are most wise, magic 8-ball. Most wise indeed.

[inkerton]

Psh, what a load of bull.



Everyone knows that scientology is the only real origin theory.

[Xpose]

haha don't get me started on Scientology!

[Mort]

whats scientology? isnt that something about john travolta and some klingons? i heard it was really wierd thou
its hard to draw the line on whats true or not when it comes to religion , but some sects and cults are just to much. they seem to have gathered all b-movie scripts that didnt make it and put them into a sect.and all of them is about some leader dude that has sex with all the chicks and all the guys give him money or something.

[evildisco]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v81/massiveattack/xenu.jpg

[Thunder Doom]

Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed were all Japanese?!! My head hurts...

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/6266/religionrodeo2zw.jpg

P.S. I suck at writing in Japanese

P.S.S. Yes, they all have cat ears

[jermainevl]

Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed were all Japanese?!! My head hurts...

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/6266/religionrodeo2zw.jpg

P.S. I suck at writing in Japanese

P.S.S. Yes, they all have cat ears

Oh no, you have drawn Muhammad... now you must DIE, infidel pigdog!!

[Zebz]

LoL UH OH.

[Slash]

Anime-styled as well.. the ULTIMATE insult. :nohope:

[Carnifex]

ouch.

even before clicking i knew this would be spam.
but virusartist-sign me up!

[VirusArtist]

YAY!!! this religion thing really works... my first followers... wow...

now go out, spread the message and..

PRAISE MELINDA!!

[MuffinMan]

i can't believe how stupid humans can be....this dude obviously needs major help...

[Xpose]

I like how he only explains so far and then he says buy my book. Those assholes didn't come to visit me last night either. I was pissed!

[Silvertone]

Silvertone! Are you serious?! Swweeeet! I'm getting laid! lol

Hah! Yeah man, lets' infiltrate the Raelians. It'll be just like that movie, Wedding Crashers" but even whackier! 8)

And let's not forget about The Nation of Islam with their evil scientist Yakub that created white people and the whole mothership hovering above earth with Elijah Muhammed inside. Hello Mr. Farrakhan!!!!!

Ugh, this is probably how all religions got started.

[Blue]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... wow... i feel so much more informed now... guess I should start a cult or religion too... something involving tabledancers, alcohol, junk food b-movies and good music...

kinda like:

"melinda is our god.. praise melinda for she is divine in every way...

praise melinda, mother of all beautiful tabledancers for she created the longdrink...

drink from this whisky cola, for it is her blood...

eat from this junkfood for it is her flesh...

date that beautiful halfnaked tabledancer for she is the impersonation of melinda created from melinda's image...

meditate to 'Killer Klowns from Outter Space' for it is melinda's will for you to reach pure happyness...

chant and listen to your favorite bands for melinda is always listening."

and the 10 commandments would be:

"1. thou shalt not refuse a longdrink
2. thou shalt not refuse the chance to date beautiful tabledancers
3. thou shalt play cool videogames
4. thou shalt not descriminate b-movies
5. thou shalt not refuse junkfood
6. thou shalt get hammered beyond belief every weekend
7. thou shalt make up 2 more commandments on your own
8. >see commandment No.7<
9. >see commandment No.7<
10. thou shalt enjoy life to the fullest, following the fist 9 commandments."

a new religion is born.... I shall call it "MELINDAISM"...

damn.. I feel so prophetic (issat a word? sorry for my english ;) )right now...

cheers and PRAISE MELINDA!!

Etienne
Where do i sign up?

[Jason Manley]

........................................

[CaptainInsano]

Anyone interested in joining MY religion?
The jist of my religion is:

EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND DO THINGS MY WAY

[That fat kid]

OMG, did you see jason's image....I almost bust a nut laughing so hard.....pissed off my sleeping roommate too......besides, everyone on this site knows that Jason Manley is our lord and savior.

[Jason Manley]

settle down there fat kid....i am nothing of the sort. you should change yer tagline before i do

big brother is what i have to be around here...not by choice...i'd rather that i didnt.

[Jonoy]

http://www.brad.ac.uk/webofhiram/

Get a grip people...
this (http://www.brad.ac.uk/webofhiram/) is the real deal

[Carnifex]

YAY!!! this religion thing really works... my first followers... wow...

now go out, spread the message and..

PRAISE MELINDA!!
oh,but i vote on renaming the whole thing to jessicaism. there are many good things that come with jessica.
like jessica hook (yumiko)...jessica rabbit...

[D.Labruyere]

you don't mean jessica the bloodsucking rabbit do you carnifex??? she's scary :(

[Carnifex]

...i don't know who you're talking about.
i mean roger rabbit's wife.

[VirusArtist]

oh,but i vote on renaming the whole thing to jessicaism. there are many good things that come with jessica.
like jessica hook (yumiko)...jessica rabbit...

HAHAHAHA! sounds like a great idea to me.. actually I know a tabledancer named jessica... the perfect fit...

to make it official:

I, THE PROPHET OF MELINDAISM HEREBY DECLARE, THAT MELINDA'S REAL NAME IS JESSICA!!! THEREFORE OUR RELIGION SHALL BE CALLED "JESSICAISM" FROM THIS DAY ON!!!

(the name "Melinda" was a mistranslation of the old writings.. the incompetent translator of the holy words of Jessica already has been punished by my most trusted servants...)

now go out, spread the word and...

PRAISE JESSICA!!

cheers,
Etienne

[Slash]

ok...

http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/alba-marry3-1.jpg

[Carnifex]

ahhh of course,how could i forget the greatest jessica of them all...thanx slash.

[Slash]

No carn, second greatest!

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b21/slashesc/sizzlin.jpg

[CruShTinbOX]

whats scientology? isnt that something about john travolta and some klingons? i heard it was really wierd thou
its hard to draw the line on whats true or not when it comes to religion , but some sects and cults are just to much. they seem to have gathered all b-movie scripts that didnt make it and put them into a sect.and all of them is about some leader dude that has sex with all the chicks and all the guys give him money or something.


Hehe... just watch the South Park episode called "Trapped in the Closet" and you'll learn all you need to know about Scientology.

[gaijin]

All I can say is that I've already converted to a new crackpot religion that absorbs all my free time, so I cannot worship the alien gods. The Flying Spaghetti Monster compells all!

Plus I was touched by His Noodly Appendage.
http://www.venganza.org/

[light]

I dont have to cut off my testicles do I?

[cotron]

R Kelly is the new JC.

[evildisco]

I dont have to cut off my testicles do I?

You are still required by law to do that, light.

[Carnifex]

slash -ouch.

[timpaatkins]

I once had a cabdriver try to convince me about the Raeilan Movement. That was one scary ride, ill tell ya. I fastened my seatbelt pretty quickly.

[CCThrom]

Not the only crackpots around... check it out - 2003: the Bad Astronomy Guy vs the ZetaReticulan prophets of doom

http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/planetx/index.html

seriously though, anyone that's got even a passing interest in space science (and understanding why movie FX are tough to get accurate... which I think is quite a few of us here at CA) should check out the Bad Astronomy site

http://www.badastronomy.com/index.html

Long live Phil Plait!