Need some crits come on in

[cyruse4]

really trying to push myself to be a better Artist, so hey why not get some help from you guys? Dsillistration has been really helpful, so i figure the more help the better I'll be one day..


This is one that ive made changes too from the last posting
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y207/cyruse4/test.jpg
tell me what you guys think, thanks

[LucidSaint]

Looking good...

I noticed a few things though. Her left arm's deltoid looks to be down her arm instead of at the shoulder (makes it look disconnected from the body to me).

Also, looking at the muscular definition in her stomach you might consider more definion in her neck given how flexed it would be. Along those lines the detail in the gun is lacking of course, but is that artist's choice or what? If not looking at a few references could get her gun looking pimp.

http://img431.imageshack.us/img431/6085/paintoverblackladywithgun9vh.jpg

[theshunzun]

alright, im going to be honest here, but all in all i just want to help you. These are only observations; you can take 'em or flake 'em :)


Compositionally, there's too much negative space on the left side of the screen. I'm assuming that since she's the center of focus, you should probably think about adding more details that'll give us a better sense of what sort of environment she's in (besides clouds). Also, considered altering the values so that the character is brighter than the background, that is if you intend for her to be the point of interest.

the object behind her is indescernable. You should make it clear what the veiwer is looking at. May I suggest that you make the silohuette of the object recognizable, that way we know what it is.

The features of the face and the neck lack the definition they need to convince me that they are 3-d. It seems to be both an anatomy and a lighting issue. Perhaps if you get a friend to pose for you, then use that as a reference, you'll come out with something far more convincing.

In fact, I would say that the whole of the figure could use a bit more contrast to push things out more and convey a stronger sense of space.

The anatomy of the torso seems a bit distorted; the left breast is too far over the the right, and the abdominal muscles don't appear to be reacting appropriately the way the torso turns. Again, may I suggest having a friend pose for you to serve as a reference. Anatomy texts could prove useful also.

Is that a gun slung to her arm?? That thing isn't even veiwable. Since it's part of the character, you should consider making it MUCH lighter. Also, you might want to position it so that the gun as it's own space on the canvas, away from the figure, so that the figure and the weapon don't end up competing for the same space.

There doesn't appear to be any true foreshortening occuring with left arm, so the hand just appears to be unnaturally big. Again, get a friend to pose, maybe even check out some comic books (well-drawn of course!) to see how they foreshorten limbs. Or you could get an art book. Whatever you fancy.

Dang...that was too much! I hope you find this criticism helpful ;)

I like the hair though. Nice movement!

Good luck!!! 8)

[cyruse4]

Yeah I agree with the part about the arm, i see where i got lost on that part.
Thanks Lucid
Shunzun I dont know about further discribing the back ground I think that takes away from the actual focus

[koroshiya001]

It's a good start. When I first saw it, the stylistic face with the more realistic stomach kind of threw me off. The shirt and face are kind of flatly colored, while the stomach has a precice (and very nice) rendering.

I definately agree on the gun not being visible point. Maybe some more details on it(after lightening it) would help to define it from the background.

What's with the little red dots right outside all the holes in the black part of the background? If theyre light shining through the holes, I would make them all come through at a consistant angle, and maybe illuminate more of the background.