Bastion's 7 page 1

[cheeks-74]

Here it is, gang. Just wrapped up coloring page one. Alot of you asked when I'd do my own story with characters I've developed. Thank you for your support. Now.... welcome to Alina's and my world.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/6466/bastions7page1rgbsm5sd.jpg

Art: Sean "Cheeks" Galloway

[Idiot Apathy]

Man, coming from someone who is infatuated with colors; I :heart: your colors. It's almost seems your coloring with a vector program, is that the case? Or you just using simple shapes in a raster program?

Being said, I feel a little confused in some of these because of depth; they all feel a little shallow to me. Perhaps this is because of the strength of colors through-out the picture? They are still quite vibrant even in the background.

I know it's not always realistic but you might try toning them down just a little bit, seeing if it that keeps your original vision but add's depth? I dunno.

I'm loving that first panel, when do we get to see more :) ?

[Olof]

This page confuses me.. in a good way ;)
Mafiaboss eating, deliveryboy getting blown to pieces?

Anyways. Hope you post more of them characters, your poses are insane :)



and. wtf is a lensflare doing in that middle one?

.peace

[Mirana]

The gutter inbetween panel 2 & 3 is very weird. Are we being shown the character coming down the stairs one way, and then the bottom of the stairs the other way? If so, there are some major-bad tangents and a close break of the 180 rule going on. If not, then it's a gutter that serves no purpose except to slow the reader down in confusion.

I don't get the lens flare or the "skid" marks beneathe his step in panel 4 as he doesn't appear to be running. I'd rather see his other foot in the shot to show that he's on the move.

In panel 5 I thought we'd cut somewhere else completely because we no longer see his feet or stockings (or above them in the previous panels)...so there's no connection that this is the same character we saw walk outside. Also, the camera is such a small part of the panel that I didn't even realize it was there until about the 10th or so look-through.

In the first read-through, I had to stop and study panel 6 to figure out if it was still the same character or not...probably because the design of the hair poofiness, the collar design and color of sleeve changes.

The identification of the character wouldn't be a big deal if I already KNEW the cast of characters and what they look like from previous pages, but this is the first page. I have no prior knowledge and if you make it hard for me, I may stop reading altogether. You definately want the first few pages to be a great dynamic HOOK that pulls me in, but not at the expense of readabilty.

All that said, I have absolutely no issues with the art. Very well done! I love the simplistic, flat-color animation style. I pick up books with this style all the time because I soooo love it when animation style is put to book form. The art is fun, has sense of depth, great color choice and composition.

[dibumac]

NIce drawings and coloring. Maaybe there's some confusing narrative. I say maybe because I'm sure when you add the words you fill what the reader may be missing with just the drawings.
Congrats for your new project !