Dark city - Critic plz

[john i. mo]

hy folks!

thats my first thread in this forum ,
i wanted open in a finished works thread, but i think its not perfect enough.
i hope u can help me in this point.


hope u like it :teeth:


http://img489.imageshack.us/img489/3015/lastnightfinishsmall8bn.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

greets

[blacky]

Nice picture. As cri: rezise it so we could have a better impression of whole picture. I like the way you did her hands, but forearm might be to long. (If it's ment to be human) Her legs should cast a shadow as those guys in midleforeground do. You did eyes/ vision slot of soldiers in red, but one can't see eyes (their expression) at figure. (It's just a very small detail). the border of this small "wall" she holds on to should have a different angle (much lower one/ leading more towards door.)That traffic she's looking at, should have more devisions in value (instead of a straight line) (hope one can understand what I'm talking...)
Skyline in background might be lighter (darkest areas are at soldiers and foreground.)
Well, those have been my thoughts, take what you consider usefull.
So long...

[Bai Fan]

The way it is staged right now, it appears as if the person is sitting at a bar with people entering in the background. The lighting behind the guys in the background is confusing, causing the background to feel painted on the walls. Fading out the background may help make it look more far away. Also, the character appears to be floating. I would suggest taking photo reference of someone kneeling to get the accurate perspective.

If you were intending to have the character mid jump, you could convey this a little better by bringing some of the cast light and shadows beneath him for some overlapping (which you kinda did, but you need to carry some of the shadow under too). If you wanted him not to be jumping, you need to have him casting shadow on the ground.

The lights in the background need to disipate (too sharp) the further back they get.

Also, try adding some warms into the highlights. This will help unify the piece and make your lighting more believable.

[john i. mo]

thank u for crits and good tips , i would work on it .
Next days i will show u a new
version of my piece.

greets

[dogfood]

For me, the perspective is just wacky. Zany. Loony. You get the idea.

It really doesn't look like you blocked in a solid idea and worked from a plan, but rather just added elements as they came to you. Nothing replaces a good plan (except good luck, which is hard to count on).

Just for the "welcome aboard" portion, where are you from?

[john i. mo]

@blacky

i will resize the forearms . i didn`t see that.
@bai fan

yeah , that thing with the shadow , is really bad. i know what u mean.

@dogfood

only i have taken a sketch from my sketchbook .
here is is.
http://img236.imageshack.us/my.php?image=lastnightsmall6cd.jpg
i will correct my work and post it here next days.

i came from germany. and where are u from ?

greets

[dogfood]

I'm from the U.S. and split my time between California (CA, my home state), Georgia (GA), Pennsylvania (PA), and Florida (FL). I mainly asked because sometimes it's tough to tell the native English speakers and many folks fill in the "location" information on their profiles.

[Bobby-X]

i think it's a person looking over the edge of a roof. am i right? i think your light source is a bit undefined, the right arm is completely lit up with no edge to the light as might be present because of the edge of the parapet. pretty good overall though.

[john i. mo]

@dogfood.

yeah nice.. i dont change my home like u,. but it sounds very diversified.
i move next month , but thats all, next time.=)





@bobby x

hy man,

thank u for your post,

its a humam ,yeah u got it =) . i am working on .. the light, the background , and the "wall" , . if i finished i will post it here,
ah.. i will rework the hands ,too

thanks folks



sorry my english..i try to do it better.

[john i. mo]

Hy,,

here is my finished work ,
the hands are not soo good. i know =( .i cant work further on this.

i will start another work these days and work it out with more system.
http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/9113/vbkopie1fb.th.jpg (http://img487.imageshack.us/my.php?image=vbkopie1fb.jpg)

hope u kike it

see ya