SOI Crit Please

[Fuish]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/taktera/dolphins2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/taktera/814b0e0f.jpg

Tell me what you think, tear it up, I need crit on it so I can make it better, I really need to get into the Student Society of Illustrators Show, do you think that it will be up to par? If not, please explain, no rudeness here, I am really trying hard to earn some prestige in the art world. I would appriciate any constructive critique, anything else is not wanted.

[Fuish]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/taktera/Curious_WIP_by_taktera.jpg

[Rascar Capac]

well...This is very distinct style - looks like for a children's book... and I like it...

BUT...Does the show have different catagories? Or is everyone judged altogether?

If so...then if you're gonna go up against someone say - in the "young adult" catagory, who's submitted a detailed/realistic moody painting,
I think they're gonna be much more impressed by those kind of pieces than yours...and this is not to put you down - its just the nature of the work.

Does that make sense?

[madster]

This is really cute, but the light values on the turtle detract too much from the dolphins, which I am assuming are the main subjects of the piece. Perhaps tone down the turtle slightly, while pumping up the dolphins, either by edging or accents.

The bubbles could use a bit of brighter highlights along the "sun" side edge, right now they look a bit like flat circles.

Best success with the contest!

~M

[Elwell]

This is really cute, but the light values on the turtle detract too much from the dolphins, which I am assuming are the main subjects of the piece. Perhaps tone down the turtle slightly, while pumping up the dolphins, either by edging or accents.

The main subject of the piece is the interaction between the turtle and the main dolphin, so I don't think the turtle should be de-emphasized. The dark tone on the underside of the dolphin's head is dissapearing against the background, though. You might want to lighten the gradation that moves down its body.

There are also a rew little compositional tweeks you could make. The tangent the main dolphin's fin makes with the body of the one behind it works against the flowing, underwater feel. You could shrink and move up that second dolphin slightly. Its eye could also be lightened ever so slightly. The middle dolphin on the left could be darkened so it doesn't pop so much, and the bubble should probably be in front of it. Finally, I don't like the small dolphin silhouette coming up from the lower left corner. Its direction works against the main flow of the piece, and its size and shape interfere with the ripples and bubbles, making that corner far too busy.

Good luck on the SI student show. I would also definitely enter the cat/fish piece. Do they have a shot? Impossible to say, but it's certainly worth trying.

[Danilo]

i think that dolphins need mor attention. now are hidden in bg

[DSillustration]

squidditch,

ive been a judge for the SI student show before.
some things all who enter should keep in mind:

we get 5000 entries... and we need to pick 100.
all work is in slide form and projected about 5 feet wide on a wall.
no piece gets longer than a 5 second viewing.

so...
in that 5 seconds you need to convey:
an exceptional composition,
excellence in technique,
and (the hardest part) concept.

now, even a still-life has concept if done well.
sometimes concept is a narrative, sometimes the concept is "wow, yellow!"
but whatever it is, it needs to be a quick read.

right now, i dont think this will make the cut, simply due to its lack of concept.
if your concept lies in the interaction between the two different species...
then you need to pump it up.
dolphin looking at turtle... no concept.
dolphin in love with turtle... concept.

what gets into the show is by no means a depiction of the best work (though we try)
but, it does showcase the work that reads best instantly.
this is an illustration show.
think of how this would be used as an illustration, and develope the necessary aspects.

[vigostar]

wait.. so whats the scenerio with this thing?? is it for students only??

[Firefly]

wait.. so whats the scenerio with this thing?? is it for students only??
No, The Society does an annual show and book publication of the best of illustration for that year. They have categories for professionals; Book, Editorial, Institutional, Unpublished, etc, and then they also include a Student Scholarship competition.

Any major library system should have the books. Look for Illustrators 40,41,42 etc. I think they're up to 45 or 46 now.

[Elwell]

Ok folks, lets clear up the confusion...

The competition Squidditch and Dan are talking about is the Society's student scholarship competition. It's open to students only, has a very low entry fee (~$5 per, if I remember), and is judged from slides. Entries have to be through a school, not an individual. The deadline is around Feb. 1st every year and the selected entries are shown at the Society in May or June. There are cash awards for the top pieces (last years ranged from $1000-$4000). A catalog is printed of the show, which is distributed free to ADs and art buyers, and the award winners are also published in the Society's annual book.

What Firefly is refering to is the Society's Annual Show. It's open to any work produced or published in the proceeding year. The deadline is always officially Oct. 1st, but it always gets extended. This year's deadline is this coming Monday, the 17th, so there's still time to get stuff in. Submissions are broken into catagories (advertising, book, editorial, institutional, and sequential) and are judged from proofs or prints. The entry fee is $30 per piece, with an additonal hanging/publication fee for accepted entries. Winning entries are shown at the Society in three sections from Frebruary through April, and are published in the Society's Annual book.

For more info, go to http://www.societyillustrators.org.

[Fuish]

NOTE: I have Not updated the picture yet, so please still critique this one as is. There have been no changes as of yet.

Rascar Capac: Thanks for your compliment, and yes the show has different
categories, I know my art wouldn't hold up against someone in a different category who does painterly art. Thanks for the tips. :)

madster: Thank you for the compliment as well. Especially after having read some of your other crits. I agree with you on the turtle, but the thing is, the front dolphin and the turtle are the focal point in my piece. I'm tweaking it so that the turtle looks less like the Finding Nemo turtle, Squirt, and am punching up the dolphin to make them the focal point and the dolphins in the background less noticeable. And thanks for the bubbles suggestion, I totally agree with you now that I have someone else’s perspective.


Elwell: Thank you for picking up on what I was trying to convey here, in the interaction between the main dolphin up front and the turtle. Good eye. Dead on, on the tangents, I have been working on the piece some more, and will post new pictures for critique sometime later on. I’ve fixed the tangents that you pointed out and it looks totally better. I removed the corner dolphin and shrank the one like you suggested, and moved it around slightly to give the piece more flow. Also thank you for clearing some of the confusion up.

DSillustraton: Wow. :^^: I’m really amazed by the critique you gave me. It’s one of the most helpful things, I don’t know why I didn’t think about the concept before, I think that’s what a lot of my illustrations have been lacking. :tihi: I appreciate your critique so much. I took your suggestion, even though it was a loose suggestion, on the turtle and dolphin being in love. It makes the piece so much more interesting to look at. I’ll post the new version tomorrow for you to see. I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Firefly: Also thanks to you for your help with the confusion, I wasn’t too clear, and this is the Student competition I’m talking about. But thanks for clearing that up.

[Fuish]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/taktera/curious-love3.jpg

Sorry for the pixel-y-ness of it. I have yet to figure out how to take it into GIF format without waiting 30 minutes at my computer.
This is still a WIP, It's far from done, so continue to critique it please :)

[Fuish]

Still need some crit people. Anyone have anything to say about it?

[madster]

I LIKE the changes you've made! The turtle no longer seems quite so overpowering, and the heart bubbles really tie the dolphin to the turtle quite well.
You've done a good job with the bubbles, while not makeing them too predominant, either.

This is coming along SO well. Do you have an intended purpose for it, of is it just a piece that "talked" to you?

~M

[adien]

I really like the new version, but I actually didn't notice the heart bubbles at first. Not sure if this is a good idea or not, but maybe make the bubbles a slightly warmer color? Or maybe just slightly rose/pink/red tinted to make them pop out a bit more?

[Elwell]

Not sure if this is a good idea or not, but maybe make the bubbles a slightly warmer color? Or maybe just slightly rose/pink/red tinted to make them pop out a bit more?
Don't do that.

[madster]

Squidittch, remember the old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it..." Listen to Elwell.

~M