Dealing with an ego

[Tanika]

Hey all, most of you do not even know me, I tend to just stalk around these forums. X.x I'm Tanika, just a meesly furre artist, Junior in Highschool, planning to attend Ringling School of Art and Design.
Now for the problem, someone online sent me this link to their art. I don't have it with me, I'm not at my home computer, but it was in the Side7 gallery. Her art was alright, but it was lacking in a few things, anatomy/shading/backgrounds mainly.
I gave her a short critique, and she took a defensive stance with the oh so common line "Well your art is bad too!" I bypassed the comment and tried to show her I was trying to help her as a fellow artist. I showed her some things on shading and gave some background techniques and a site on anatomy. She got mad and proceeded to email/IM everyone she and I knew to try to get backup, and began whining and complaining I was 'mean' to her.
My comment, and opinion, on the whole thing was; if you are going to show off your art on the internet, expect a critique, and if you are an artist, be prepared to take it gracefully.
A week and a half later she is still complaining about this whole ordeal. What should I do about her? I'm not used to dealing with peple like this. x.x
Does this happen to everyone or is it just me? *falls over*

[Lost]

kick her ass.

[Tanika]

Heh, ok, can I get a non-violent way of solving this? *giggles* Though it would be fun, I'm just not that mean x.x

[Erik]

Just ignore 'em...

[Tanika]

Heh, *nods* I guess so. But shouldn't an artist be open to critiques? That is what I learned. x.x

[Signature]

I think you shouldn't start critiquing unless people want to improve / ask for c&c.
You should have stopped when she started to defended herself.
I know I wouldn't want critiques because I know my images suck and more important why they suck.

You seem to know quite a lot yourself (links for example).
Wouldn't you be annoyed if people kept telling you that you have to read the loomis books all the time?
Maybe you wouldn't ;) ... but still she obviously didn't want critiques
(never write critiques @ deviantart for example or in themed threads)
... so why even bother?

[Lost]

I never critique anybodies stuff unless they specifically ask.

If someone says "look at my stuff"
I say.."cool"and point out a couple ofthings that I might like about it.

If someone says
"what do you think of my stuff"
then I tell them.

[MindCandyMan]

I agree whole heartedly with you tanika. If you are gonna post your stuff up then expect flamboyent critiques...etc... And that also means if you post something ...sometimes no one will respond...this is also a form of negative response when you see 300 views and no replies. Everything needs to be taken in stride and used to better your craft. I have posted stuff that has gotten 150 views and no replies...you know what I took from that...At best what I posted was "ok"...not good enough to draw praise and also not good enough to draw criticism. I think people need to detach themselves from their work. What you draw has nothing to do with who you are...and if you get mad cause someone says you have to work on anatomy then you ARE taking it personal. Tell her if she wants praise to take it to her parents and let them pin it on their refrigerator. If she wants to get serious about getting better then tell her to post. You know what the kicker is...I am sure when you made those statements you weren't being as harsh as you probably could...so the drawing is probably worse than you even let on. People just can't take honesty.

[Clodhopper]

find more mature people to talk to about art. honest opinions make better artists in the long run, and yer in highschool! how can people have huge egos in highschool? i never understood that
lol...especially girls. you can NEVER be completely honest with girls- just my experience. j/k

[donkeyslayer]

i have a friend who is just like that girl. he is never open to crits. and when i do try to point things out (because he shows me his stuff sometimes) he flips out and shit. people like that aren't worth your time. i, of course, started out about even with him, and since i have been online with CDF/sijun/eatpoo/Conceptart, i have improved so much. i try to pass the knowledge down wo him (who is still stuck on drawing in comic/anime style and not on getting muscles right and stuff), and he blocks it out. people like that are "unchoachable". don't worry about, just find her email addy, and sign her up for porno in her email at your local porn site :D.

donkeyslayer

[otis]

Welcome to the real world,, this happens not just in art, but with everything. People get defensive when they know you are right. That's why it's really important to choose your words and approach carefully. But somtimes, no matter how polite or helpfull you try to be some people will take it personally. In this case don't say anything...that person will have to learn(or never learn) a harder way.

Obviously she has a rude awakening waiting for her in college, her teachers are going to rip her apart in crit sessions..and she better be ready for it!

[Tanika]

Signature: She is an artist and she has posted her work in a public place, if I do not critique in then someone else will. I went through the same thing, I am still going through it, as an artist I would never tell anyone "well I didn't ask you" since posting in a public place will call attention.

Lost: She said "hey look at this stuff!" So I did and told her what I thought, again, posting art in a public place will demand attention.

MindCandyMan: Thank you! I am an honest person, I will tell it like it is and sugarcoat nothing. Artists should learn how to take honesty. It was something I was forced to do and I believe a lot of other artists had to learn to take it as well.

Clodhopper: I'm in highschool, the girl I'm describing is 24. I know that is really odd, but that's just how it is I guess.

Donkeyslayer: The problem with -not- critiquing or pointing things out when someone shows me their art is; I remembered how I felt when I would show someone my art and they'd smile and nod and say it's great. They'd lie to my face so I wouldn't bother to try harder. If I did that to that girl, then how far will she go? She'll think she's perfect and she'll stop practicing.
I had one kid who would always tell me "you are good, but I know you can do better" and, though I got mad that first time. It taught me to a) take honesty with dignity and b) keep going no matter what.
If I just tell this girl "yeah your art is so cool! It is awseom!" She is just going to stop and be satisfied. As an artist I will NOT allow another artist to do that to themselves, it is not fair to them when they could improve. That is why, fellow artists, I will never gaze upon anothers work when it is shown to me, and tell them a sugar coated lie to their face. It was done to me and I hated it, I will not harm another artist in that way. She may be pissed now, but this is going to force her to keep going until I say "you are great" and maybe in the future she'll stop whining and see that she's improved because someone said her art wasn't perfect. Then she will realize that I was not only right, but I pushed her to keep going to a level she never thought she could achieve.
THAT, my friends, is why I critique/comment
*falls over*
ehh sorry for the rant but I had to get that out.

[wassermelone]

Hehe... Man I would give her a piece of my mind. My friends call me brutally honest... And my friends are brutally honest about my pieces. Im so glad its like that... weve all seen where sugar coated compliments take you =|

"Everyones a winner!...." =_=

[KayCustomz]

Its only online...find her in real life and kick her ass like lost said...then again its only online, nothing harmful

[egerie]

just a quick comment. when someone asks for critique and I see flagrant things that could be improved I try to give advice. Or at least ask questions that I beleive will help the artist realise something they were missing.
Oh and another thing... I usually go with the stroke - slap - stroke critique sequence ;) Point out a good thing then a flaw and finish with an encouragement or something positive.
Imo, critiques should always be constructive. I used to have a director that would utterly drive his artists into the ground.. I never drew better in my life because I kept pushing myself out of pride :D but it's not for everyone.. and personally I hated that kind of experience, thus my more softer method.

If they keep bitchin' and moanin' about it.. as previously mentionned, find more mature people to talk to !

Ege, who tends to be to fucking considerate for her own good sometimes.

[Tanika]

KayCustomz: She's 24 and I'm 17, well I guess it'd be illegal for her to hit me, but I think I'll avoid that. ^^

egerie: I agree, I couldn't find anything that was really good to point out, I mentioned to her the composition was good and then went in to how to improve different parts of the picture. ^^ Artists draw for different reasons, and push themselves for different reasons, but, here, I havent really met someone who got overly defensive on a crit or just a simple comment. And I agree with you, critiques should be constructive, I'd never just come out and say "you suck!" etc etc. I don't know many artists who would. ^^

[rimwalker]

Originally posted by Tanika
She's 24 and I'm 17 That might be a part of the problem right there. Maybe she only told you to look at her art in the hopes you'd flatter her and gush about how wonderful she is. When you (someone younger) provided a critique she wasn't prepared for it and got all futless.

This hobby/profession/interest is chock full of raging egos. People who don't want other's help usually can't progress anywhere. Post the link up in this thread. Let's ALL take a look and provide her with help... :mischief:

[KayCustomz]

hey if you 17 and shes 24, you can hit her and everyone would be on your side.

I can't critiq for shii... I just can't say anything about peoples art

[Spounge]

Don't let her negative energy drain you.

[Tanika]

rimwalker: That might be the case with this, but I don't see her as an older person, I see her as my equil. And I know from experience, staring into everyone's eyes instead of looking up at them tends to make a lot of people upset. One of my teachers asked me why I wouldn't say 'yes ma'am' and 'no ma'am'. I just replied "It's too formal for someone's who's eyes I gaze into, not up at" XD She was upset with me but understood it. Maybe this is kind of the same thing, I don't waver and bow at someone's age.

Kay: I can critique rather well, that's why I was stunned at this problem. But I think rimwalker hit the nail on the head and solved the mystery. ;)

Spounge : I'm trying not to do that, but I am getting lots of negativity from others as well and it is all piling up. It's giving me an artists block and I have an art show to do at school in a week :dead:

[Erik]

don't EVER let other people govern your feelings

ok, that was easy to write down, now i'm going to look in the mirror and see if it works for me too, i hope it will ;-)

i think this age thing is completely ridiculous why should anyone look up or down to someone else because they are born earlier or later? People trying to get respect from age apparently have nothing they actually did to get respect out of and therefore use something they have had absolutely no part in to get respect! It is the same as people trying to get credits for being male/female/certain colour/born in a certain country/smarter/whatever.

[Tanika]

*nos* Yeah, easy to say but not as easy to do. I'll try anything once though. ^^ I do agree how silly it is when someone commands another to look up to them just because of age. Status and age don't go togeather.

X.x hehe, now I have a stress-related artist block. As I call it, and I need to go pull myself out of it by making random scribbles in my sketchbook. ^^ thank's for the help!