Urban Jungle

[Apropos]

After getting my gonads handed to me in the TDome (good job Helzon) I decided to try and work on my composition.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v112/Apropos/UrbanJungle.png

Feel free to tear me a new one with your critiques.

[Kenny_Callicutt]

The figure is not really balanced.. hes about to fall off of that rooftop.

Generally when you have only a single figure in an image and you place less space in front of its face and more behind it it gives this trapped feeling. Im getting that from this composition. The way things are set up everything leads you straight off the left side of the peice or straight to it and theres nothing really there. Try just moving him over more to the right and onto the ledge..

[Oblio]

On composition only:

- The whole thing is falling towards left.
- His eyes are pointing towards the edge, and the complete lack of space before him makes it like it's headig towards a wall.
- The tall black buildind in the green area can not balance it. As is is... you will have a hard time balancing your work.

[dogfood]

Ken and Oblio are on it. This guy is in the process of doing a header.

When you have so much space behind the character, it implies that the action is either there, or soon will be. I'm expecting a guard to walk up behind him and ask him "what's about, mate?".

And with the way the character is looking, along with the diagonal line of the building tops, the just zips right off the left side.

[madster]

It's not like you'd have to change the pose that much...
http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/2567/squat1dt.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

~M

[ApolloNuevo]

i know we hear it more than necessary here...but reference will save your butt everytime. get a cheap digital camera and take some pics of your friends doing these poses to understand how the forms overlap and relate to each other. also, more re of your building would go a long long way. there's no shame in doing research...it just means you care enough to put time into your art so you get it right.

-dan

[Marie]

I agree with the reference, even if its you doing it in front of a mirror and studying it if thats all you can do.

Everyone has really offered great advice and I'd love to see your updates on this when you have them.

I hope to see you work on the rendering also, right now it could use some refining and less mottled look. That will really help to bring the piece together.

take care

[Form]

theres some great critique so far on composition and id like to emphasize one more thing relating to it...

something that is important to keep in the back of your mind is the silhouette of your figure. At the moment your entire figure is enclosed within itself, which eliminates an overall sense of movement. Having a dynamic silhouette shape is important in achieving a sense of power in a figure such as this, and it can also be used to achieve the composition lines you want.

You have several opportunities - the bullets around his neck, the blades in his hands etc, but you have kept these all within his body and the building... on your next piece think about what parts of the figure you want 'contained' and which you want to be dynamic. Subjective composition is often overlooked when put up against focal point/detail/value/saturation focus effects. Our eyes pick all these up but dont forget our mind also reacts to certain things almost immediately - in a picture with an explosion and a tree we will almost always look at the explosion first regardless of its position, focus level, value range etc etc.

hope you gleaned something from all these crits, lets see an update! :)

[dogfood]

Is there any way you could illustrate your point, Form? It sounds pretty important, but I'm having trouble putting it in context.

[Form]

sure :)

#1 is the original. #2 shows the original with the silhouette of the figure separated. #3 shows the pure silhouette of the character.

Notice how at the moment the silhouette is very bloblike? we can see the head and the leg but everything else is kinda moosh. it has no real punch.

#4 shows a very quick idea of some easy changes that could be made, and

#5 shows the revised silhouette. The figure reads better, it has more dynamics and 'punch' to it. Its more aggressive.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/formsketch/UrbanJungle1.jpg

hope that explained it...

[madster]

Form, that illustrated it beautifully!

~M

[dogfood]

Thanks, Form! That's 1, 2, 3... 5000 words you're being crediting with.

It's been a long time since I heard or really thought about the silhouette. Cool beans!