Airship

[Marty]

Hi! this is a piece i have been working on, as usual it doesnt really turn out the way i imagined in my head at the start but i guess all i can do is keep practicing....
anyway i would love to get some crit from u guys so i can improve it!
as you can see the airship is not finished but tell me what you think i need to do about the whole piece, color, composition, design, anything.

http://www.bitbox.se/Martin/upplagt/cliffharbour2.jpg

peace!

[Form]

this looks nice. i like the composition, perhaps some more transitionary fore-rear elements linking the different levels of your piece could help. also, you should think about strengthening the interchangebetween elements - darken that airship (maybe with a nice cast shadow from the balloon if it applies), and think about the overall rhythm of light and dark in the piece.

also the airship colours are a little saturated and high chroma,so they appear a bit cartooney, id like to see some darker, woodier colours in there. Apart from that keep working it and defining your focus areas

look forward to seeing the next leap
adam

[thirdeye]

Interesting piece so far. Try maybe increasing the contrast overally. Define the light a bit more. Even if it's supposed to be a bit foggy you can add some more darker shadows. As far as I understand the ship is landing on some kind of rock bridge comming out of a cave. If so try to define the space a bit more - is the stuff on the right a part of the cave or is it a cloud I can't really tell it now. The ship itself would have some more deeper shadows, and a drop shadow also. I'm not really shure what to with the composition. It's ok, it's interesting but feels like there's something a bit wrong with it. Maybe adding some more backround around the ship would help.

[Marty]

thanks for the relpys! i took your suggestions into consideration and made some adjustmensts as best i could.
heres how it looks at the moment.
to be honest im running a little low on creative juices on this piece....
damn colorpicking is difficult, i wish i was better at it...
more crit would be greatly appreciated
http://www.bitbox.se/Martin/upplagt/cliffharbour3.jpg

[~Faust~]

I love the clouds!

Critiques: The airships engines look like they are not rotating. I suggest putting some motion to them. The top of it can be more 3d, also.

Also, what bugs me is the floating island-thing on the left. It looks like it's going to fall over any second.

[Marty]

thanks, im rather happy with the clouds.
i havnt decided if the ship is going to be docked already with the engines off or coming in for a landing. i think i will try putting them in motion and see what happens.
about the cliff falling over, i will try giving it a better base, however i kinda like the whole thing with it poaking out like that, a bit unrealistic as it may be.

the ballon looks a little to solid... i have no idea what to do about that but ill see what happens...

thanks again for taking the time to look at my stuff! more to come later!

[Form]

looking better!

1. the rendering on the cliff needs to identify its plains more. at the front (right) its nice, but it flattens out towards the left. Make the 'top' surface lighter than the underside which should be quite dark. expand that range of values.

2. on the balloon, it looks solid for two reasons.
-a) the shape. research airships for this. find out where the points of attachment are, where the ropes would be pulling and tugging and causing an effect on the shape of the dirigable.
b) the rendering. Experiment with counterchange - on a spherical shape like this you should have the full (or almost) spectrum of values. The light-facing area will be almost pure brightness, and the underside will be a dark core shadow. against the constant value of the clouds, a proper rendering will make the baloon 'pop' let me know if you dont understand!

Counterchange example i whipped up:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/formsketch/counterchange.jpg

[Form]

looking better!

1. the rendering on the cliff needs to identify its plains more. at the front (right) its nice, but it flattens out towards the left. Make the 'top' surface lighter than the underside which should be quite dark. expand that range of values.

2. on the balloon, it looks solid for two reasons.
-a) the shape. research airships for this. find out where the points of attachment are, where the ropes would be pulling and tugging and causing an effect on the shape of the dirigable.
b) the rendering. Experiment with counterchange - on a spherical shape like this you should have the full (or almost) spectrum of values. The light-facing area will be almost pure brightness, and the underside will be a dark core shadow. against the constant value of the clouds, a proper rendering will make the baloon 'pop' let me know if you dont understand!

Counterchange example i whipped up:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/formsketch/counterchange.jpg


the cloads are all the same constant value. the background is (obviously) a gradient. see how the cloud pops out?

[Marty]

im not really sure what you mean, i understand the example you shown me but not really how to use it.
if any of you have the time and feel like it, feel free to do a paintover of my painting.

another thing i am having alot of difficulty with is how much local color to use. i mean just because something i blue doesnt mean i schould paint it blue you know? i have so much difficulty with this in all my paintings...
some pointers on this would be so great.

like i said 1000 times before, thank you all for your interest and help, this is really helping me develope.

[Marty]

here's how it looks now. i repainted the balloon for like the hundred time, trying to make som sense of that counterchange thing. im not sure if i understood it correct, and im not sure how realistic i have rendered the lighting now but it sort of feels better at least. the baloon doesnt feel as solid as it did. so if huge thanks to Form for telling me this because i would have never thought of doing it this way my self.

still suck at colorpicking though... i must do much more studies of real life...
painting the color of an object scares the shit out of me...

please keep criting me! im learning so much!
http://www.bitbox.se/Martin/upplagt/cliffharbour4.jpg

[Form]

ok my friend ill do a rough paintover later when i get a chance :D

[Slash]

I think you have a great start! But the balloon and airship looks like its about to tip forward. Try making it a tad more level.

If its supposed to be anchored to the cliff it could work tho..

[Marty]

finally had time to work on this bastard a little more, not very much, just some more on the ship. anyway thought i would keep posting my progress (and bump this thread back up in the spotlight :bashful: )
thanks for your intrest and comments, please keep crittin'

http://www.bitbox.se/Martin/upplagt/cliffharbour5.jpg