Fomorians: Lords of Nightmare

[bengonzalez]

This is the beginning of an illo for the unofficial supplement for Changeling: the dreaming called "Fomorians: Lords of Nightmare" that is being developed over on Shadownessence.com any helpful crits would be welcomed.

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/2043/fomor0053jy.jpg

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[Slash]

I like the idea. But the fence (or whatever that thing going across the pic is) is kinda confusing. I'd also try a smaller composition to make the idea behind the pic read easier. Now my eyes had to travel very far to make the connection between the sinister characters, their "shadows" and the kiddies.

Speaking of shadows, the idea would be alot clearer if the shadows was darker, like.. umm.. shadows. ;)

[dogfood]

This is a very visceral piece. The tilted horizon and large amount of dead space in the middle deliver a lot of tension and the whole "grabbing children" thing is particularly effective. You might want to check your perspective, though. It really seems like your kids are about knee high to the adults (literally). I agree that whatever that is in the middle doesn't read very well. I just have to say again that those shadows creeping all that distance to menace the young 'uns is particularly effective. I was thinking earlier that a lower horizon would put us in closer to the kids and show us some more of the danger (even adding us to it, to a small degree), but the present view puts us at a helpless distance, only able to watch.

Nice.

[bengonzalez]

Slash - thanks for the crit. I know what you mean by the composition being to to big. The leader for the project has already approved this sketch so I'm going to run with it. If it was a personal project i might have changed the composition.

dogfood I went ahead and changed the size of the three menacing figures. Made them smaller. I'm going to keep this layout for now because I think I can make it work. All of the things that you mentioned are about the right reasons why I went with it. I tried different thumbnails but out of all of them this made the most graphic sence to my eyes.

well here is an update on it. now I'm getting into the dangerous part for me. Rendering is one of my weakest skills. So I'm taking baby steps. I know that I need to make confident pencil strokes to be able to render correctly but I'm not quite there yet. The blacktop shading is bothering me. It may be because i didn't keep a consistent direction.

comments and helpful crits are welcomed.

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/5489/fomor0060hu.jpg
Edit. As I look at it more I realised that the holes in the fence are big enough for the stinking kids to fit through. shit one more thing I got to find a way to fix. I may just have to start over on this. :(
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[bengonzalez]

second go at this, Let me know what you think

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y221/bengonzalez/Fomor007.jpg

[bengonzalez]

wrough ink
C+C welcomed
http://img321.imageshack.us/img321/1161/fomor0088jl.jpg

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[Slash]

It looks a lot better now, cleaner and tighter. But we should be able to see the fence over the shadows. The fence is the weakest part of your image right now, it looks sloppy.. Try making the grid lines diagonal, this way you wont have to draw such long lines. This will also make it look more like a regular mesh fence.

I also think the poles and the top of the fence is too thick for this type of fence.

[dogfood]

The fence is not only not helping, but is detracting from the image and the cleaner lines are actually making the children's size disparity even more disturbing (meaning they are way too small, given the perspective and size of the adults).

[bengonzalez]

Took some time to do a grough edit in photoshop. I think this may be the right size for the kids.

http://img358.imageshack.us/img358/5673/fomoreditcopy5lg.jpg

[bengonzalez]

Blah odd ness happening with posting

[boredomsketch]

i just suggest that you put the grid of the fence in white,where the shadows break through. Otherwise i guess you dont get the ideia that they is a fence between the kids and the adults. and the perpective of the shadow breaks in the fence. sorry for any bad english :)
o hope you understand what i am trying to say.

[bengonzalez]

Thanks JoaoCaetano, I've considered using white over the shadows. I have to figure out a way for it to not look forced. I may just redraw that area and overlay it over the top.

don't worry about your English, It's not that bad.

[bengonzalez]

Did some more work on this image

Thanks to everyone for all of the input.

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/3368/fomoreditcopy6ip.jpg

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[boredomsketch]

hello,
why dont you put really white on the part where shadow and grid join?
i think it would gain a lot more graphic strength and would blend better with the rest off the graphic treatment.
The one you use looks like a little bit too thin and bit shaked. But its better.

:)