Comedy gold moments in uni/school

[JERI]

There was this one time in my psychology tutorial where we have to categorise certain behaviours. We're told to write on a piece of paper, anonymously, the one thing we would do if we won't be held responsbile for it. The tutor will then read them out to the class and we were to categorise them as antsocial, prosocial, or neutral.

I wrote, "I would go to the Vatican and yell 'PENIS' as the Pope addresses his flock".

"So which category should this action belong to?" The tutor asked.

"Protestant." came a reply.

[CaptainInsano]

I had a really animated math professor who would wildly fling his arms around during lecture when describing math thereoms.

One day he was walking up and down the isle of the lecture hall, of course, waving his arms around and talking excitedly. During which, he was standing next to a girl who had her calculator in her hand, and the professor flung his arm in a dramatic way and KNOCKED the girls' calculator out her hand and sent it flying halfway across the lecture hall.

Everyone was silent for a moment. The professor looked at the calculator. Then at the girl. And resumed lecturing as if nothing had happened!

[light]

My teacher gave us a 10 minute lecture and started screaming at kids because they finished the test in less then 15 minutes. This was an hour into the test.

[Blue]

We're told to write on a piece of paper, anonymously, the one thing we would do if we won't be held responsbile for it.

heh... What unholy things i would put on that piece of paper. I'm going to hell just for thinking about it.

[Blue]

Funniest moment so far was my freshman year in an english class.

My class was particularily dumb. Myself included here! So my professor spent the whole semester teaching us basic grammar. He was in his late 80s and was a veryanimated guy. He was quick to yell and snap at people.

So he asks a question to one student in particular (thank god not me) and the kid didnt know the answer. The professor hits the podium so hard it falls over and hits the wall (they are BOLTED to the floor, mind you). When he picked it up, there was a HUGE hole in the wall.

He blamed us, obviously.

[Blahm]

Funniest moment so far was my freshman year in an english class.

My class was particularily dumb. Myself included here! So my professor spent the whole semester teaching us basic grammar. He was in his late 80s and was a veryanimated guy. He was quick to yell and snap at people.

So he asks a question to one student in particular (thank god not me) and the kid didnt know the answer. The professor hits the podium so hard it falls over and hits the wall (they are BOLTED to the floor, mind you). When he picked it up, there was a HUGE hole in the wall.

He blamed us, obviously.

at that moment you should have stood up and said "You want a piece of me old man!!" then just sat back down.

[halflife99]

I hate schools and colleges.
Full of rich pretentious people round these parts.
Or people pissing there money away being jerkoff's.

[Red_Rook]

I hate schools and colleges.
Full of rich pretentious people round these parts.
Or people pissing there money away being jerkoff's.


wow your really building a great image for yourself, especially considering about half the people on these boards are students of some kind, and most of the rest have been at one point or other.

[John]

Coming to school with a hangover and noticing all the empty beercans with which we had "decorated" the school the night before. I had totally forgotten about that.

Edit: Red Rook, as true as that is, what does that make Slipknot fans? You know the kind, the ones with the "People=Shit" T-Shirts.

[halflife99]

wow your really building a great image for yourself, especially considering about half the people on these boards are students of some kind, and most of the rest have been at one point or other.


Y'now, I did say "round these parts"
If you feel that includes you, thats your prerogative.

If you would rather not have any honest or genuine statements next time, rather, suger coated lollypops and pretty pink panties, thats your prerogative, either way, its irate to me.

[Red_Rook]

whatever it may be it still seems like a blatant generalisation, to conclude that anyone anywhere, even around "your parts", seeking further education, are "rich pretentious people" and "Or people pissing there money away being jerkoff's." so forgive me for pointing out, that your probably wasting your breath hating school and colleges, since alot of the people here are in one, and its vaguely insulting to them, apart from ofcourse your distinct regional diffrence you pointed out. I hardly have the intention of making you irate, I was just pointing it out.

didnt mean to hijack your thread Jeri, sorry bout that, ill shut up now.

[halflife99]

whatever it may be it still seems like a blatant generalisation, to conclude that anyone anywhere, even around "your parts", seeking further education, are "rich pretentious people" and "Or people pissing there money away being jerkoff's." so forgive me for pointing out, that your probably wasting your breath hating school and colleges, since alot of the people here are in one, and its vaguely insulting to them, apart from ofcourse your distinct regional diffrence you pointed out. I hardly have the intention of making you irate, I was just pointing it out.

didnt mean to hijack your thread Jeri, sorry bout that, ill shut up now.

Anyone? Anywere?
No one has said that, only you and you alone.
Thats quite a blatant and false generalization in itself.

But yes, perhaps overly generalized.
I will rephrase it.

"Alot of" in my district, dont confuse it with an absolute, as in, you...him...her...that guy over there ect...

[Steph Laberis]

We have a list of quotes from RISD professors online... here are some of my faves ^____^

"You need to extend the line, like good sex."
-Merlin, Foundation 3-D

"...a tractor to drive across the page, an elephant to shit and piss all over it... I'm not giving you a supply list."
Al DeCredico, when asked on 1st day what supplies freshman would need to bring to his class

"Maybe God has a good reason for making a man walking down the street explode."
Steven Ott, Philosophy of Religion

"You don't have anything to lose. You can't make these drawings any
worse."
-- Diane Hoffman, Foundation Drawing

"Using a black matte [to present work] is an easy way out. It's like saying, 'don't look at me, look at my skirt.' "
-- Professor Lenny Long, Illustration, Sophomore Drawing 1

"Do any of you smoke? No? That's too bad--you should start."
--Tom Mills, Foundation Drawing, talking about stress relief.

"A farm girl could get a lot of miles on the haystack with this."
-- Michael Beresford, talking about a metal bra during a Sophomore sculpture crit.

"A critique should be a kind of marriage, and some of you have been abusive spouses."
Fred Lynch, Illustration, Style and Substance.

Finally, "Vomiting is one of the lowest forms of creation in everyday life. You ARE creating something, but nobody wants it."
-- Fritz Drury, Senior Painting Seminar

The list is here! (http://risd.dailyjolt.com/quote_search.html)

[young paddy1]

Fine Arts Tutor
Most modern art is like a gilded turd it may be all shiny and pretty but it's still just a piece of shit.

Ceramics tutor (on burnishing)
"The more you rub it the better it looks."
Lad in my class (gay but nonetheless funny)
"Kind of like a big bowl shaped dick?"

[sula_nebouxi]

I was standing at a bus stop at Rutgers, my former college. It was my 2nd or 3rd day of freshman year and was still feeling pretty nervous. All of a sudden I hear this loud, obnoxious music coming from a cadillac convertible driving down the street. It stops in front of the bus stop and these two guys are in the front looking like a pair of thugs. Wifebeaters, gold chains, tattoos, the whole nine yards. Imagine an Ali-G wannabe. And what music were they playing? Why, none other than "Bye, bye, bye" by Nsync. The guy in the passenger seat is practically leaning out the car, bopping his head to the music, doing the horns, shaking his hands back and forth, singing along to the lyrics.

After that, I thought to myself, "Ya know....this year isn't gonna be that bad"