O-Boxed #01 Cartoon

[NukeouT]

Here is the revival of a comic book series I shortly began couple years back. Now with my brother tank, we were just joking around and came up with a pretty funny strip.

I might color it later on, and see how it goes from there.

Mb even get me self a site if im devoted enough to keep making them.

O-Boxed Strip #01 (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v315/NukeouT/O-Box01test.jpg)

Whadda ya think?




A little explination. This is set in an alternate universe where anything goes. The two main charachters fly around in a mobile home/space shuttle. Stick is a computer dork with trash bag on his head, and his buddy Jimo the robot is a random oaf because his circutry is miswired in places.

I can post up more older material later..

[Boogers]

"lest a double peg-leg savage on a scooter???

Methinks thou hast little knowledge of the proper usage of the Queen's English, me does...

"lest" means "for fear that," NOT "unless." You should really know what an obsolete English word means before you attempt to use it, especially in a humorous way, which really isn't all that humorous...

It's poorly drawn, it's double poorly dialogued...
How drunk/stoned/sleep deprived were you two to consider this "pretty funny?"

The yellow bars floating to the ground add absolutely NOTHING to the attempted humor...

The linework, small as it is, still looks exceedingly sloppy and hurriedly rendered...

If this "strip" is your determining factor as to getting a site of your own, I'd hold off for awhile...a long while...

[NukeouT]

Well thanks for the "lest"..

this is *as I mentioned* a rough draft.

If you have a high enough IQ you would figure out from the next slide that those lines are flashing bullets. And from the words above, that they were quickly done for the rough draft.

Never assume that everyone was born on American or British territory.. My Russian spelling/grammar/vocab conflicts in places. I know this and always appreciate people helping me out correcting stuff.

:nohope: As good a critic as you are, I did not find any links to your art work.

[Idiot Apathy]

Well mate, it's a cartoonists/comic(er?)'s job to make sure that the viewer, no matter how dumb understands what it going on. Whether or not he put it rudely it's still something that needs work (as a work in progress that's a bit obvious of course, but that's what you wanted no?).

I think some value would help us know whats going on, especially in the cockpit view.

About your location; Bahaha, you geek! Crap... I understand it ... I must be a geek ! Noooo!

[Madster2]

And links to artwork would prove what, exactly, in relationship to having a good enough eye and enough art education to see compositional and design flaws?

My traditional art is not posted online, unless by the owners of those pieces I've sold. I personally shut down one site of mine a couple of years ago because of art theft, and my current site is passworded and by invitation only...Doesn't mean shit one way or t'other, in that I can still recognize the basic compositional elements and design principles (or lack thereof).

...this is *as I mentioned* a rough draft.OHHH? And, WHERE, pray tell, did you *mention* this??? Morrowind? All I see in your original post, is that this is some "revival" of an OLD, badly sketched comic strip that you and your brother tank thought was side-splitting funny, and that it is your potential "devotion" to continue cranking out such great humor which will determine whether or not you create an entire website to house the hilarity...

Do us ALL a favor, and PLEASE don't post "older" stuff. A couple years is old enough, from the looks of it.

And, as for your Russian spelling/grammar/vocab, my Momma was Russian, from the Caucausus is Georgia, so don't cry about your language difficulties. Try using one of the many online translators, such as tranexp.com, rustran.com, or even babelfish.altavista.com...
Don't EVEN try to pass off this mess as "My English is bad, that's why this piece doesn't seem funny..." For being so crappy with English, you sure do seem to have a good enough command of the language to type jargon like "wadda ya think?" and use words like "dork," "buddy," and "oaf..."

If YOU had a high enough I.Q., you wouldn't even be trying to pass off giant yellow bars of color as "flashing bullets." That's even sadder rendering than the "interior" scribble-doodle you are attempting to pass off as a cockpit in panel 3...

Nice try for a Self-Pity Party, but it appears we are all out of Kleenex.
Irregardless, your cartoon is poorly rendered, poorly dialogued, and NOT funny, although "MB" (lazy spelling of "maybe") it's a translation thing, and in Russian, it just has 'em rolling on the floor...дуньте я

~M