Camp shirt design

[Grizz]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/Grizz21/AWANA-DESIGN-COLOR-web-imag.jpg

[Trevor Harveaux]

You know, I really hate to say it. But this is awful. I'm not even sure where to start.

Camp Awana?

Way too much text for a shirt.

Unreadable fonts.

The drawing is very sloppy, busy and I can't tell what half the stuff is supposed to be.

The use of color is confounding.

The clouds look good though.

[Smitherines]

I like what your poster is saying, but it needs to be cleaned up a bit. I know you want some clutter and grit, but I think its too messy. You also have 3 different fonts going on that don't really go well. Mostly the "Escape" font, that needs to be changed. Also the words on the right, flush those right or flush them on both sides. If you flush them on both sides, do it to the top left text. Also, where escape is, it needs to be centered if you want it coming out from the water. See what happens when you move "Camp Aurana 2005" down a touch

[jfwalls]

PS2, X-box, guitars, that's all the stuff I like. Why would I want to get away from that? Bills, annoying neighbors, stupid people, that's the kind of stuff I want to get away from.

[Sara-San]

hrm.. for a shirt design, this needs a bit of work..
1. Font is a bit unreadable, I agree with Trevor on that part
2. Colors... Color in shirts gets a bit expensive, especially if you use different shades. So bring it down to 3 or 4 (including black!)
3. to make it look like he's escaping into a less busy thing, add more space between the hand and water. Also, put him more out of the water.
4. If you do want to bring people to christ, avoid brands. Like ps2 and x-box. While they do have violent and non-jesus games, the consol itself is not at fault. The games are. Try to avoid things that will blast holes through your reasoning. There's quite a bit of topics you can pick, and ones that people will be more ready to agree with. Like, not a lot of people are going to be disagreeing with the fact that Playboy doesn't represent something that christians are against.
5. clean the shirt up. While I know it's chaotic, a lot of your meaning is lost in the fact that you can't decern what the objects in the bottom are.

[Gilead]

The whole -baptism washes all these things away- symbolism was lost on me the first time through. I saw MTV. X-box and playboy all associated with the words "Camp Awana".
Simplify the "bad stuff" maybe a syringe, a gun, and I dunno' a twinkie. make them readable, and compress them into a smaller space.

[Ilaekae]

I'm going to approach this from the standpoint of a designer...

...and what I see is not good. You've forgotten the ultimate purpose of this art. It's a t-shirt, for gawd's sake! A high impact fast-see site for simple but powerful images. Instead, you've created a somewhat interesting grafitti wall that's going to blend in with every accesory worn with it.

Lets not even talk about the fact that I have to stand there like a dirty old man staring at some 16-year-old's pneumatic chest for maybe an hour with a straight face trying to decipher what she's saying with her front. As nice an excuse as that might be, it shouldn't be happening.

Too much clutter.
Too complex an image for speed recognition.
The art is impractical from a reproduction standpoint. Both strong lines and soft edges, faint pastels, and massive blacks. It's a control nightmare from a printer's viewpoint.
I purposely didn't read the copy, but I really hope it's not critical to the ultimate message because it just doesn't come off as readable.

[Uziel]

You need a whole back of a t-shirt to make it readable. Clean the sketches up, try to use just a few colors or just black&white. Sometimes it can save money at the printshop. Change the fonds.
Give us an update when you changed something.

[malicious]

in addition to the other crits, i would like you to clarify for us what portions of this were drawn by you and what parts were pasted from external sources, ie the xbox logo. good luck with this stuff,it's not going to be popular.

on a personal note, screw off, i read playboy for the articles. :P

[jdgill]

I think it looks cool...

How about taking off teh text on both sides and leaving somewhere the place of the verse.

[Shinryu]

hmmmmmm David Choe???

linkin park/jay z ???

i see some clear inspiration and refrence :wink:

it looks a little blured and a bit too messy, try tidying it up a bit and adding some differnt things

nice idea

[mentler]

This is not a T-Shirt design ~~~ it is a laundry list of your clients thoughts ~~~~ decide what would make this a strong design and throw everything else out!!!! It your client does not understand that ~ then it a lapse of taste on their part~~~~~

[Alisa]

Well, maybe if you really wanted the text, you could put some on the back, and a picture on the front ? Maybe you should make it cleaner and not so many brand names.

It's a spectacular idea though, I think. 'Escape!'... :teeth:

[Quinster]

I can see where you're going with it, but it does need some serious clean up. Maybe you tried to hard? :blah: I know its been said, but find a more defineable design, its all over the place.