My Alone in the dark experience

[talmir]

I had heard a few things about this movie before I saw it. Mainly tho warnings nto to see it since it was pretty damn crappy. Well, I felt brave so me and a friend "borrowed it temporarily" and watched it out of curiosity since I have always been attracted to the underdog side of movie making. And I am not a rookie in the watching of traumatizing series of images on screen. I have sat through Cannibal Holocaust, Bad Taste, The Nostril Picker (digitally remastered) withoud blinking but I must admit that after the first five minutes I was amazed at the acting. But still I trunged on through the movie hoping it would liven up to the reputation of the computer games of old. After a couple of battle scenes and bad sci fi later (including references to a fictional tribe, mythos and star decyphering which was an amazing feat of logic btw). Then there was the five star atmosphere while watching a commando with a blank stare speaking calmly into his headset while listening to the deathcries of his fellow soldiers being ripped apart by alien rippoffs a few meters behind him. To top it all off, in the version of I "borrowed" someone had mercyfully cut off maybe ten minutes off the end. So I dont know how it ended, thank god!

After watching this traumatizing piece of imageary I went online and checked out an interview on IGN.com with Uwe Boll, the director of the movie and I found out a couple of interesting things.

Firstly he does not know english very well since I got a headache trying to decypher his cryptic messages to us, the lowly viewers.

Second, he said, and I quote " It's not like, that I give a s*** what the fans say." page two of the interview under the question "So you are learning from your mistakes and applying that knowledge to the next film?".

Third, he plans on ruining a couple of more game licenses on the screen such as BloodRayne (not hard), Hitman, Dungeon Siege and Hunter (from white wolf).

In conclusion I must judge the movie a big fat mistake, and the director unfit to do ... well.. anything.

Thank you.

The interview
http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/583/583575p1.html

[itchy_tasty]

when i first heard about this movie, i was like cool the games had
a cool vibe, but then... the more of it i saw/heard i came to the
conclusion that it would be awful. and it is.

[Sammy]

I really wonder about Uwe Boll ... like if he even exists. or if he's even human.

It seems like him and Paul WS Anderson are handed these franchises, and they don't give a shit about trying to make them something respectable ... something more than the games themselves are...

it's sad that they keep them comming.

[oracrest]

OK, so after posting, Im writing to warn of ranting action below, I wasn't ready for how mad I was gonna get towards the end of the post) :)

Yeah, it's not hard to imagine that a movie based on a video game would be bad. Just taking it from the perspective that video games are not yet as advanced at telling a story as movies are, your almost starting things off on a bad foot when you proceed to make a movie based on a video game liscense.

On average the story of a video game barely compares to those of hollywood action movies, and in some cases not much more than a really well written porno movie. So they're gonna make a movie based on Bloodrayne? Yeah, I can tell you right now that that is gonna suck. Just take a look at their advertising campaign for Bloodrayne 2. First of all, 3/4 of the ad is a zoomed in blown up shot of the lead girls cleavage. Then a few screenshots, one boasting a new "pole fighting system". Heh, pole fighting system??? Can't wait for Bloodrayne 3 when they bust out the innovative lapdance combo technique, or cagedancing action. And hey, while were at it, why not just make her naked, soft body dynamics on her breasts, the whole nine! Or even better, just pay some porn actress to dress like bloodrayne and fuck someone for two hours.

It just gets to me that crap (and I have never actually played bloodrayne, so this could well just be there advertising campaing that Im attacking) gets made like this. What did Bloodrayne have to offer? First game character to be featured in Playboy?? Big deal. Whats next? Most consecutive blowjobs for a game character?

Sorry, had a little rant there. :dur:

But yeah, game movies. Bad idea in my book. At least at this point, and with the choice of games Hollywood seems to be adapting.

Hell, why not just have the game playing on a huge screen? Scrap movie production costs, just connect a gamecube to the projector. I would pay $8 to go play a game for a couple hours on an enormous screen. That would be sweet. :wink:

Pieces of shit produced by Hollywood so far: (Im sure im forgetting some)

Mario Bros
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider 2
Resident Evil
Resident Evil 2
Alone in the Dark (apparently)
Alien Vs. Predator (I put this here due to the fact that the first time these two franchises were merged was in the capcom arcade game. I can rest easier thinking of this horrendous waste of time, money, and energy as a bad video game adaption more so than a continuing installment in an otherwise respected Sci Fi universe.

Street Fighter
Mortal Kombat
Final Fantasy Spirits Within (great effects aside, a rip off of "Aliens" characters in many respects.)
Wing Commander
Double Dragon

[cthomp]

Yea Uwe Bowl did House of the Dead. So i wouldn expect anything good.

[Pennywise]

Have you seen the BloodRayne trailer. Looks like Oscar material to me. :nohope:

http://www.bloodrayne-themovie.com/

[Prometheus|ANJ]

Michelle Rodriquez is damn sexay though... I'd like to see her running around in panties in an Alien movie, or in MoonTrap II

[oracrest]

Have you seen the BloodRayne trailer. Looks like Oscar material to me. :nohope:

http://www.bloodrayne-themovie.com/

oooh, shes part vampire AND part human! Im assuming part vampire to do all the cool vampire stuff they can "borrow" from the Blade movies (cause you know theres probably not anyone creative with any sort of control working on this movie to come up with anything new other than "ninja vampires"), and human so she can, well, fuck people! :) I wonder what Victorian porno store she bought her S&M leather suit at.

"Only one warrior can save the human race"
yep, sounds like a video game movie, or any action movie. Just out of curiosity, I wonder how many countries outside of USA use "saving the entire world" as a story arc so much.

"keep your friends close, enemies even closer"
whats up quote book?

"My mission is my own"
LOTR anyone?

"She lusts"
well, of course, that IS the marketing campaign

"She slays"
people MURDER people, but vampires SLAY people!

"Her revenge is never satisfied"
I don't know what this means, someone probably thought it just sounded cool to end a trailer with.

Also its interesting how in the middle of the trailer, it started flashing text of whatever the narrator said. It felt like "American McGee's Reading Tutorial" or something.

[MuffinMan]

why do they make a movie after a shitty game? bloodrayne sucked ballz.
so many studios who make movies based on games have never even played the game or are just too stupid.

[Pennywise]

so many studios who make movies based on games have never even played the game or are just too stupid

Its this Uwe Boll guy. From what I have been reading he owns a company that gets private inverstors to back these horrible game movies. I have not seen any of them but from word of mouth and the trailers I dont think I ever will. I guess his next movies are the Far Cry, and Hunter the Reckoning games.