Role Reversal (update 9/22)

[dogfood]

I'm having trouble reconciling some trees. I'm attempting to add some fear and tension to this composition. Right now, vice having a bunch of the elements pointing at the characters, I'm surrounding them, in order to have the eye kind of swirl around them. I've got several branches, the spear, the arrow, all trying to direct the eye about our stalwart heroes. Then there is the group of birds coming from behind (forcing some momentum toward the guys). The lower one (now that I'm posting it) doesn't give the indication of just alighting upon the wing (the feeling I'm trying to effect), so he'll need to be changed.
So, there are a couple slightly different versions, but there's something wrong and I can't quite figure out if any of it is working to begin with. I'm planning on muted colors and very few highlights, with the foreground figures remaining in shadow and the distant opening dappled with the fading light. But, how is it working? C&C, overpaint, razing my hometown, whatever you feel, would be appreciated.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/dogfood411/Role.jpg

[dCepT]

The darkness you've added behind them adds to a more tense atmosphere, I think. I think muted colors are a good choice, if you want that spooky feeling.

Might get a better feeling of the tenseness if you redo the facial expression on the friar... He looks more wondering than careful/frightful...

Just my two cents, mind you. Ignore at will :)

d-C

[gaboartpage]

Hey dogfood in my opinion there are
values of gray in the people that repeats
at the far scene and in combination
of the stroke and space between it
makes a contrats that deletes depth

i see like the trees and birds are in first plane
and i include the tree where the bird passes too

and this is confusing cause this tree is behind the people

the people are in group with the far scene so
try making more pale the tree os the bird passing
and down more the far trees and make some
thumbnails that will help plan the illustration

good luck dude

Gabriel GArza

[Gilead]

If you squint at the image you'll see that you have about 50% dark and 50% light. Or medium. Anyways it'd help if your values were more like 70% dark, 25% medium and 5% light for the kind of effect you're after. Dark doesn't have to mean black just in the dark end of your scale. So feel free to just fill the area behind them with dark colors to kind of loom and overpower them.
Then if the light's coming from straight back from the viewer then the figures will be almost in sillouette, with maybe the front 25% of their faces and bodies in the light. Trees and crows the same way.
Challenging image.

[dogfood]

Thanks for the comments, guys.
dCept: Yeah, the monk looks like a doof right now. I'm trying to push the nervous look, but it needs more work. Spot on.

Gabriel: I hate to say this, but I really didn't understand what you're saying. I think that you're commenting that it looks flat and you're absolutely right.

Gil: Thanks, man. That is spot on and one of the big things that I wasn't seeing. One of my tendencies is to fail to give an image a dominant value and not see it (I'd be intersted in whether you feel it's come along any).

I noodled with the piece last night (prior to getting these great comments) and will work to integrate these suggestions, but I'll be out of town for a couple days and will be unable to work on it until I return. In the meantime, perhaps someone can find some other problems with the next iteration (the spear and arrow haven't been touched, yet and the trees need more work to introduce more texture and something else...):
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/dogfood411/Role9.jpg

[Gilead]

You've got more of a dominant tone working now, but if you squint again you see that the lightest lights are in the background. Unless something back there is actually a light source you want to darken that section down to a medium value.
The next thing is to find a direction for the light on their faces. Right now they are evenly lit all around and this would never happen at night in the forest. Is there moonlight slanting in from between the branches above? Is that a magic glowing arrow? Once you decide that then you know where to put all the highlights and shadows. Dont forget to share at least a little bit of that light with the crows and the tree trunks. But not as bright as on the figures.