Eloquence (Happy Ways and Summer Days)

[LauraR]

http://www.iownthesun.com/art/eloquence.jpg

Check out the detail shots here -- http://www.iownthesun.com/art/eloquence_det.html

Critique extremely much welcomed. I actually made an effort with composition & focus this time.

[one2hit]

awesome. Do you have more? I think the three images in the right column should have one colored object in them like the three on the left. The guitar would look awesome as the only colored object in that image since it is already the focal point.

[LauraR]

Thanks :] Actually the guitar IS coloured...

I have tonnes more (well, maybe 20 or so) here: www.iownthesun.com

[one2hit]

actually the beak, and sphere are colored too. I see them now. I can barely see any color at all in the guitar because I'm sort of colorblind >__<

[one2hit]

Instead of putting faces or figures inside of the trees, you should try to make the figures the trees themselves. (does that make sense?) Like make the bodies of a few women wrap around each other and hold out their arms or legs in the way a tree would look...omg that would be so awesome.

[Kallos]

Very nice. There’s more focus here than in your other work I’ve seen so far. Favorite section is the girl and the ball thing, but I couldn’t say why. Least favorite would be the mushrooms, only because no single point grabs my attention and holds it.

Ahem... here I go. Ok, you've done a great job with most of these, and on a whole, they work well together. I really like that you’ve allowed certain visual elements to “bleed” out of their respective frame. This is a really great way to breathe life to your work, if it’s done well, and if it’s done sparingly. Side note: your drapery always looks good.

I’m just going to speak what ever rolls off the top of my head:

-Perspective- is right on. Movement between foreground and background is easily distinguishable, and everything’s looking good in that department. You even have some elements in there that seem to rush into the foreground from far away. That’s cool. It makes everything look more dynamic/ alive.

-Scale- is right there with perspective. Good job.

-Form- is looking good. I like the way important objects/ elements are crisp and defined, where as everything else has a slightly out of focus, less saturated blending effect. It keeps the viewers eyes right where you want them to be, and I don’t feel lost in the unimportant details. It looks like the octopus could use just a little more work though. His large foreground tentacle looks great, but his body is looking a bit flat. You might try using a little more shadow work on his lower parts and on the ground where he would cast a shadow. On his upper body, I’d say, less white and more color. Try not to let bright white touch the outline of his body. Instead use just a tiny bit of color around the edges to keep him looking rounded/ 3-D.

Balance: I don’t know if you laid each of these squares out randomly or on purpose, but it’s got good balance. The crane and the octopus are at opposite corners, and they each bleed out of those opposite corners as prevalent images. Those two pieces have the largest subjects in them, they carry more weight, and they stick out more than any of the other pieces, so they act like visual anchor points. Since they’re on opposite corners, bam, you get instant balance. It works well, and it’s aesthetically pleasing.

**Color Note: If you want your color work to be more vibrant, try shading with color instead of black or gray. Depends on what you want. ;)

[LauraR]

one2hit - I've actually done that sort of thing in a few pieces, but I've stopped because it seems cliche [to me, anyways]. Thanks though - your comments are very appreciated :D

Kallos - I was wondering where you got to ;] Thanks you so much for your critique. I am so overjoyed lately because the focus and composition thing is ::finallly:: coming together for me :]
Now, so, I see what you mean about Fred the octopus - I'll take note of giving the 'rounded' look by adding a little more colour around the edges :]
I drew out each square (9cm X 9cm) with no -real- clear idea of how my composition would come togther, to be honest o_O It only seemed clear after the first two panels - by then, I had set the focus on Harry heron - and away I went.
On your colour note - yup, I know that one. I purposely left out use of vibrant colour here though. maybe I should have rethought that.

Thankeeee :D