Curl Your Toes (The Vociferous Dilemma of the Time Arrow At Sea)

[LauraR]

http://www.iownthesun.com/art/curlyourtoes.jpg


My ocean here is fat
Rotund, devouring courage and new lands
Unknown to some.

Of course it laps sweetly on the
Shores - nosing the squirming land
And drooling salty; come across
Flattered plains.

Feel your way out further -
A sonorous hum of its' deeper.
Light hits snells window and
Requests a look-in. The most
Exclusive depraved celebrations are
Arms length from you...

Listen - the ships ride past us,
The gales pushing hard to reach
Them out out of danger.
Those gusts know - they know
Because they are clipped to the
Frothing crests and darkened troughs
Bobbing incessantly above the
Filthy, murkerous depths.

The ship is glade of those
Inconspicuous clouds - sweeping the
Horizon with grey rain.
Salvation awaits,
Row
Row.

Grab my eyepiece and hard
Look below.
Stray photons irredesce
This forgotten sanguinous place.
Watch the gill creatures suck
And spew and toy with the
Galleon battlements.

Hell is not underground,
It is undersea.


C & C very welcome. This is nice and different from what I usually do ;]

[mime]

I think its a bit too monochromatic, or at least it lacks contrast and the eye doesnt really know where to look at.

But its still beautiful, the shapes are elegants and there is a nice feeling coming from the picture

[lisa]

This works so well compositionally.. a little bit cliche in terms of angle and stufff, but hey, it works every time. It actually reminds me of this Poe story.. what was it called now... well it was one of his short stpries. Ah yes! The Maelstrom .. (I think!)

Well I love the way its monochromatic and airy, there's that old cartography feel to it. The hints of colour detract from this feeling I think.. well they throw the colour composition off-balance a little bit.

[LauraR]

The monochromatic look to it was on purpose really; to make it feel like those old sea-prints :] Definitely cliche!!!

Glad you both like it - even a little. I may get rid of the green ;]