(new version) 6 fishes, 3 flowers, 1 ghost

[tegehel]

Constructive Crits welcome. Oh yeah, I forgot: Original photos by Uwe Ommer/Taschen.

Also, I am not quite satisfied with the result of this one, and I'd like to hear if you have any ideas for improvements, etc...and also, what bothers you if anything (anatomy, colors, subject, etc...)

Merci.

C.

http://www.tegehel.org/graphics/painting/pinup_may05.jpg

PS: Dem0n, thanks for answering :) I like the fish a lot too...

[dem0n]

weird noone replied yet.

anyway nice colors & atmosphere, I really dig the fish in the background :p
got this innocent but challenging sexy feeling going on.
but then again, all your paintings are sexy :D

[Mkross]

I deffinetly like the lighting on the girl on the left. I still haven´t got to get anything this good- yet . You rock.
The composition is sweet, but why did she get her feet and hand cut at the bottom? Was it on purpose?
Also, did you blur the girl on the right on purpose? She doen´st seem to match the overall style in the piece, although it is indeed a very good one. I got nothing else to say about the rest ecxept that I liked it very much. Since I´m asking so much, what is the idea on this piece?It seems to have an interesting theme behind it.

[Snowfly]

I've got a world folk tales storybook with pictures done in a very similar style to this. You wouldn't have done any story books in the past by any chance?

It's a sweet picture, and being asian myself I'd say you got the physique of the girl down, maybe with the exception of her knees jutting out a tad too far. And one thing that got to me was the highlight above the back of her armpit might be appearing a little too low. It gives the effect of her back being bent a little too abruptly.

There are some cool elements in the background...really loving those flowers. Hope I can paint at this level someday.

[bwkeough]

the individual pieces of this montage are very nice: the flowers, the girl on the lower left, the koi design.

I think the overall compostion is too fractured, though, all of your elements are too similar in size and are too separated; they're fighting for the viewer's attention.

Take a look at http://billsienkiewicz.com/bookmag/gdv (http://billsienkiewicz.com/bookmag/gdvsev.html) it's a montage poster for something called good vs evil. You'll see that he has one or two large pieces of similar size and importance that are surrounded by smaller satellite images. The whole group is connected by a geometric or mechanical design pattern.

I wish I could find other examples...older society of illustrators annuals probably have them, it's not an illustration style thats as popular now as it was 20 years ago.

[tegehel]

Hi all, sorry for the delayed response.

Here's a new version (a bit of a WIP still, but...) I read your comments and took them into consideration. Thank you. Even though some of you liked the original compo, I felt it awkward somehow: couldn't focus (bwkeough pointed that rightly so). So I simplified and changed it accordingly. In the process, however, I had to drop some things and reduce other - which is a shame, I liked the fish and big flowers - but I felt it was necessary. Also, it has become an entirely new piece altogether (I tend to do that a lot these days.)

http://www.tegehel.org/graphics/painting/pinup_may05-3.jpg

dem0n: thanks man, sexy is always good.

Mkross: thank you. It's based on some sort of fairy tale that includes all the elements in the picture (fishes, flower, a ghost). The blur is to represent the ghostly aspect of that character that sort of emanates from the incens, but it's not working for me - not the way I did it anyway.

Snowfly: thanks. I wish I did, but no, it wasn't me. In the future, perhaps? I'd love to do fairy-tales, or create one of my own. I think you're right about the knee, I haven't fixed it in the new version, but it's still a bit of a WIP, so I'll do that later. Thanks for the heads-up.

bwkeough: merci! I think you hit the nail on the head there, with the composition. Thanks for the link, it's a great piece that BS did. The new version hopefully fixed that problem.

C.

Idea behind the composition, where the eyes go (well, mine anyway):

http://www.tegehel.org/graphics/painting/pinup_may05-3compo.jpg

[Prometheus|ANJ]

Maybe the sitting girl is a bit grey? I have a preference towards oily super orange girls though.

Anyways, it seems to me that you have room for some contrast and saturation on some spots (preferably focus points).

[mephisto]

Whatsup man, this looks great. Her head is on the small side for my taste in female proportions, but that is just near sited opinion. I miss the fish from the first one. Nice job. Come to life drawing tonight(its the last one for months!)!

[ChadTHX1138]

Wow this looks great...your composition is nice.