Superhero brawl--sequentials (updated on page 2 4/17)

[Reilly]

Hey guys, check out the first three pages of this comic story I'm working on--

http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ1.jpg

http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ2.jpg

http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ3.jpg


page 4 (http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ4.jpg)

page 5 (http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ5.jpg)

Let me know what you think!

--Reilly

[edited to include links to page 4 and 5]

[griff]

Wow! Awesome! Love the huge battle, very cool. Crazy details! Is that a dinosaur in the background? :cool:

[NoodleBoy017]

:jawdrop: OMG... if this is my competition, then goodbye art school

:D Some of the best work I've seen on the forum!

EDIT: btw, dimensions? paper? gimme all da details!

[imglue]

:beer: very well done man, props. love the details, details details. ink i presume?

[Silver Sehkmet]

I'm impressed by the amount of detail you've put in, as well as how clean it looks. A few suggestions; you may want to beef up your panel borders in the first page - they get lost. I would also make his hand a little larger, at least large enough to extend a little ways past the first panel's border so you don't have it clipping the edge like that. I like the interesting camera angles. :)

[treeshark]

Hi Reilly
Some nice drawing here and clever style. the main crit i have would be that you need to control your line weight. Heavier line nearer thinner softer further. At the moment things tend to mix together making it harder to read!
Keep drawing Rob

[Vent]

That is absolutely insane. Plleeeease tell me what you used to make it, cause if it's just pencil and paper, off I go to hang myself :(

[Rimshot]

Thats awsome!! and unlike alot of the comic pieces i see posted it reads really well, i never had to guess what was going on.

[Spidey-man]

This is nice, as an avid reader of comics it fits well. (and you never get battles like the one you depict much anymore) Any ways good job and good luck.

Im guessing you have inked these yourself?

[Reilly]

Thanks for all the kind words guys! I'm glad that this story seems to be making a good impression on people!

Anyway, to respond to you comments--

Griff-- Thanks man! Well, it's not any actual type of dinosaur in the background, but it is a dinosaur-ish type creature-- IT just wouldn't be art without a dinosaur!

NoodleBoy-- I drew this with a Sanford F-lead pencil on 14x17 Strathmore Vellum Bristol Board, but I only drew in a 10x15 area to make it the right proportion.

Imglue-- Actually I haven't inked it yet, that's next on the agenda.

Silver Sehkmet-- Thanks man, those are all good suggestions and I'll be sure to keep them in mind when I start inking. And the actual art isn't quite as clean as these scans make them look, because I scanned in photocopies from Kinkos which don't include much graytone.

Treeshark-- Hopefully the line weight won't be a problem once I start inking, but that's the part I'm most nervous about. I guess we'll see what happens when we get there.

Vent-- Don't go hanging yourself on my account! If you're trying to work in the comic industry I think you're going to have to worry more about guys like Jim Lee or Carlos Pacheco taking your jobs before you have to start worrying about little old me!

Rimshot-- Thanks man! Actually, if you don't mind do you think you could explain the story back to me? I'd be interested to learn what people actually see happening when they look at this to make sure my storytelling skills are up to snuff (or if anyone else wants to "read" it back to me, feel free!).

Spidey-Man-- Thanks, and like I said before I haven't inked them yet.

Thanks a lot guys, and I'll post more as I finish it (right now the writers re-tooling the last two pages, so I may start inking it now).

--Reilly

[arghmisfit]

i realy like the first one it shows lots of action and lots of detail, nice work:cool:

and is that a planet of the apes type guy getting punched in the fisrt one?

[REAU]

these pages are good, and your narrative skills are really strong
keep drawing I want to see more

[yelahttam]

Nicely done, but look carefully at your pages, some of the storytelling is a bit messy. What's the focus of attention in the big fight panel? Even in a big fight like that, you should arrange the figures so that they lead the eye around the panel and finally off the page so the reader will naturally turn the page to continue the story/ Love the storytelling gag in the second page, with the guys giving a play-by-play of the battle. The third page, again, needs some storyteling tweaking, but youir drawing skills are really good and you've put a lot of effort into this. Keep it up! - mh

[katana]

I think you have over-rendered the first page. If you go and ink everything you did you'll lose it in a black out. My feeling is that you should ease up on the penciling. Try to remember that the inker has to seperate your main focus from the rest of the frame. It is generally a good idea if someone else inks your work, that way someone will be fresh looking at it to enhance what you've done and not get bogged down on going over the same work...just my penny.

It is a good set of pages.

[DanSTC]

Ooh! Cliffhanger! What's gonna happen next?


A few possibilities that I see:

-Character falls and is saved by a superhero, but is critically injured by hitting something on the way down.

-Character is saved, but as a result of his interference, a superhero either perishes or is critically injured at the hands of a supervillian who exploits the opportunity. (Or alternatively, the villians either cause more damage, get away, etc.)

-Character keeps falling and dies, superheroes finding themselves far too harried by the villians to prevent his fall. Though they attempted to save him as best they could, superheroes likely blamed for the death in the press following the event.

-The superheroes simply decide not to save the suicidal little twat. Unfortunately, the space-time continuum rips open from the force of his fall and earth is invaded by gigantic delicious bagels.


Well, I must say that you've got me interested in seeing how this little storyline of yours turns out. I think you went a little heavy on the rendering, though...you should really save that stuff for when you ink & color it in, because that way you can always make changes later over the clearer and more simplified artwork.


Also, I have a question for the superhero nerds in the audience: What other superheroes have had people try to get attention/cheap thrills by forcing them to rescue them via jumping off a building? I'm pretty sure I recall superman having it happen to him at least one.

[Rimshot]

Ill try to sum up what i got from it....

From what i could gather theres two guys on a rooftop filming a battle between superheros and some villans. The website was called "fight", which implied to me that it was their own website used for posting video of battles. The black guy films the action while the white guy comentates? The heros defeat the villans and the white guy gets bummed for some reason (maybe cause the action is over or wasnt a good fight). Then he has an idea and calls for the superhero's attention, afterwhich he jumps from the building.

I hope thats right...or else i just proved it was hard to read lol:D

[kapturowski]

Very nice indeed! The city looks so cool and it's all very dynamic. Looking forward to the colored version.

[Wolfen]

Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from off the floor... NICE WORK! I LIKE IT!

[MrKayne]

ugh... I can't see the pics... I can't connect to your site either. :confused: Damn, I really wanted to check it out.

[egerie]

DAMN ! server seems to be down. :cry:

[cotron]

hey reilly, good to see you on here- but the oddgod site is down right now, so I'll check out your pics when it's back up. word to your mother
-cody

[Reilly]

I don't know what happened, but the site should be back up now, so if you couldn't see it before take another look.

Anyway, to respond to some of your posts--

ArghMisfit-- Yes, Apemen are esential to any true piece of sequential art. Remember that.

Reau--Thanks man. I'll post more pages here as a I finish them.

Yelahttham-- I meant for the one hero and the apeman at the bottom in the middle to be the foal point of the first page, but a lot of that panel kind of blends together because of all the detail. Hopefully it'll clear up in the inking stage.
What story telling problems did you have with the third page?

Katana-- Well since I'm inking it myself, I always feel more comfortable putting in as much detail as I can in the penciling stage where it's easier to make changes, that way I know exactly what I have to do in the inking stage.

DanSTC-- Hah, those're some good guesses, what's actually going to happen is a mixture of all of them!

Rimshot-- Yep, that's pretty much what's going on, or at least as close as I'd expect you to get without any dialog. I'll make a post when the finished version's all together so you can see how close you are.

Kapturowski and Wolfen-- Thanks for the compliments guys!

Mr Kayne and Egerie-- The site's back up, so take another look and let me know what you think!

Cody-- Yeah, I post here every now and then, but only when I've done something I'm proud of, because there are so many people great artists on this board I get intimdated if I just post my usualy crap! Anyway, now that everything's back up, check it out and tell mw what you think.

--Reilly

[Ant4d]

this is awesome
can't wait to see more

[DanSTC]

Originally posted by Reilly

DanSTC-- Hah, those're some good guesses, what's actually going to happen is a mixture of all of them!


Izzat so? Well then, I for one, welcome our new delicious bagel overlords.

[Highfive]

Wow, this looks like a really entertaining story! Great work and can't wait to see what's next...

[Marvin5]

Wonderful, the big battle on the first page is just breathtaking. Reminds me of an RPG by white wolf called aberrant.

I wanna see the rest of the story!!

/Marv

[Jarons20]

These are great shots of NY, did you get reference or do you live there

[dagethighknight]

Originally posted by Jarons20
These are great shots of NY, did you get reference or do you live there

I work right under the NASDAQ building that in the panel...

He nailed it nice... Awsome work!

[pixelfader]

I'd love to do some digital colors on these pieces...if you have high res scans you could send me i'd like to see what i can do with them...sweet work!

Pixelfader
www.stillframestudios.com
www.pixelfader.com

[Scubasteve]

Very dynamic and detailed!

[Reilly]

Ant4d-- Thanks man, and hopefully I'll be scanning in some more in a day or two. . . Or ten. . .

DanSTC-- The bagel overloards will sure think you're delicious Dan. . . At least they would if the writer let me have my way.

Highfive-- Thanks!

Marvin5-- Thanks. Does White Wolf have a superhero RPG or somthing?

Jarons20-- It's all reference. It would be so much easier if I lived there! Then if I wanted to know what a certain building looked like I could just walk down the street rather than make somthing up and hope that nobody notices!

Dagethighknight-- Yes! He didn't notice! Seriously though, thanks a lot man. If somone so aquainted with Times Square thinks it looks recognisable I must have done a decent job.
I have a question for you-- What's across the street from the Nasdaq building and from ABC's studios? I have a bunch of reference, but sometimes it's hard to figure out which buildings are where in relation to each other.
If you could help me out that would be great!

Pixelfader-- Yeah man, sure thing. I'll scan the pages again and send em to you.

Scubasteve-- Thanks!

Anyway, I just got the last few pages from the writer, so I'm going to to go see if I can make some sense out of them! Catch you guys later.

--Reilly

[pixelfader]

Cool man, send them to pixelfader@pixelfader.com. I'll see what i can come up with.

[mandrill]

These are great, man. You said that you drew times sqaure from reference. My question:

How much reference do you use for the people? It seems to me that with the number of people you have in these pages, you'd have to at least use some.

Thanks!
Phil

[majinpunisher]

Wussup Reilly, good to see you posting stuff here. I told ya before that I liked these a lot, still do. Always good solid work outta you. I'll have to show you some of the stuff I've been doing in Sequential with George Pratt sometime.

-Andy

[Akiman]

how much did you use to finish the artworks? i see some problems but generally i like it.:)

[black_lotus]

holy shit. omg this is incredible. ink and col it!!!!!!! finish it!!!!!!!!! go ahead!!!!!!!! do it man!!!!!!!!!! i wanna see it!!!!!!!!

[dns2k]

got any bigger pix of it i would love to get up close on the pencils? i love the panels and am going to dl them and ink them for my own improvement. it reads very well and i love how you handled the perspective in each shot. i would beef up the panel borders on the first page and maybe even draw a fourth ;)

excellent stuff

-dns

[Reilly]

Sorry it took so long to get more pages done (comics are hard to draw!), but check out pages four and five--

http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ4.jpg

http://www.oddgodpress.com/reillybrown/sequential/art/FJ5.jpg

--Reilly

[Barti89]

These are very nice ..
I've been wanting to do a comic such as this for a long time now, I gotta get starting on it :p

[Lohan]

i love it. the style is awesome and the drawings are great. i'm not good enough to give crit but i just wanted you to know how much i enjoyed it.

[Jack Frost]

BRING ON THE INKS!!!!!

[kevinz]

Amazing. Your storytelling and the detail really put me into the scenes and heighten my interest. In fact, there really isn't any need for word balloons or captions, is there?

Also, you spoke of Jim Lee and Carlos Pacheco earlier in the thread. It's my opinion that the stuff you've posted here is on par with them, especially considering how far they've come over the years. If you continue to grow at the rate that they did....
wow.

Of course, once i can afford it, i think i'd like to hire you to illustrate one of the scripts i'm working on.

Again...
Amazing.

[Reilly]

Wow Kevin, those are some high compliments!
Although, I don't see why you need me to draw your scripts since you're a pretty damn good artist yourself. . .
You just need to sit down and freakin draw something!

--Reilly

[blindthief]

love it. your emotions are there.